


Staves and Shields

by HK51



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-13 11:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 93,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4519983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HK51/pseuds/HK51
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn Trevelyan has been raised as a noble but spent most of her life in a Circle. After the Conclave, the life she had known does not exist anymore, and she has to reconcile with her new role, while fighting her attraction for a maddening, unintentionally charming Seeker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Evelyn awoke in a cold cell, her body a collection of painful bruises not helped by the complete lack of a bedding over the stone. She didn't recall how she got there - with panic she thought that she had been captured by templars, though they had disbanded, much like the Circles. She sat up with urgency, grabbing the rusty bars of her cell, her heart pumping hard in her chest. She could see no windows, only a torch casting light from somewhere out of sight. As her eyes adjusted, she could make out some figures standing in the corners of the room she could see. "Hey", she shouted, "Where am I? Why am I here?".  
Nobody answered, but one of the figures left in a hurry. Calling someone else, probably. She sighed.

No torture tools were visible. That was a small consolation, but the shackles that were holding her hands in place were concerning. She remembered having been in Haven with a few companions for the Conclave, but had no memory of it. She concentrated to retrieve her last waking moments before finding herself there, and all she could come up with was a strange dream in the fade, with horrifying creatures coming after her. Then swords pointed at her? Was that an actual memory or her mind's old nightmares about her Harrowing? But that had been over ten years before and she had not dreamed of it in a long time.

Heavy boots approaching brought her mind to the present, renewing her fear. Whoever was coming was angry, as she could tell from the many times she had associated the same sound to the coming of a templar to her or another mage's room; coming that was usually followed by a punishment for some transgression, trivial or otherwise. The heavier and faster the boots sounded, the worse the punishment. And these boots sounded heavy and fast, just not overly fast so that the owner could still look dignified. 

Perspiration was starting to coat her forehead; she tried to control the shaking of her hands and realized a light was coming out of her left one. It was throbbing, but she could not see any damage that could warrant the sensation. She turned it palm up, as if seeing it for the first time, and observed the green light coming out of it, and the pain it was producing. Of course with her body battered and bruised she had just thought it one of the many, but this... What was it? The fear from earlier was turning into concern over her health, and she failed to notice when two sets of legs stopped in front of her on the other side of the cell. A click then, and the door opened. She dared turn her face up to see her captors, not recognizing the greaves. Were they not templars? A short haired woman, her otherwise handsome visage contorted with rage, was assessing her as if thinking of the best way to make her suffer. Beside her a shrouded figure whose features she couldn't make out, standing in apparent relaxation with her arms crossed. Others had entered the room, but had stayed more distant.

"So you are awake", said the first woman as she took her arm and dragged her out of the cell. The imposing figure left her in the middle of the room, towering over her. "You have much to explain. Why did you blow up the conclave?", she shouted, grabbing her throat, Lowering herself as she raised Evelyn's head to her eye level.

Panicked, Evelyn didn't move in fear that the other would snap her neck. The heavily armored woman certaily looked capable of doing that. The accusation left her confused; no memory of an explosion was coming out of her mind, but could it be... That painful mark on her hand. Could she be an abomination without knowing it? Best not to show her doubt, she realized; that would get her killed faster. The firm brown eyes, embodiment of fury, betrayed impatience at her answer.

"I... I don't know what you are talking about", she said, as much as the iron-clad grip on her throat allowed, trying to sound unthreatening.  
The hand left her throat only to backhand her, sending her sprawling to the floor. Shocked, Evelyn tried to bring a hand to her cheek, fearful of what could come next, but the metal bars that kept her wrists didn't allow that.  
She saw the other woman put a hand on the warrior's forearm and whisper something in her ear. The warrior sighed and seemed to calm down a little. "Then explain this", she growled, raising Evelyn's marked hand.  
"I told you, I don't know what happened", Evelyn all but cried in frustration and fear. "I don't know how it got there, or what it is".  
The warrior paced, passing her hand in her hair. "You are the only survivor of the explosion. Do you claim not to know that happened as well?"

Evelyn's eyebrows raised in surprise. The only survivor, and of an explosion she didn't know had happened. Things were getting better and better. Of course they considered her the culprit.

"The only survivor?", she repeated, stalling for time. That meant all of her fellow mages had died - and among them her friends Rylen and Thea, the only ones from the Circle of Ostwick to join the mage relegation for the Conclave. She faced her captor again, finding her face less murderous. "I know how it must sound, but truly I have no recall of an explosion. I recall the fade... Escaping from some demons... A woman shrouded in light... That's all". Suddenly her left hand was in so much pain she had to double over and couldn't help crying; the mark on her hand had flared to life, diffusing a brighter light.

"That thing is killing you", the warrior said. She looked at the other woman. "Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I'll meet you there". The other nodded, leaving the room.

Evelyn was still looking at her own hand; the pain was thankfully receding, but not much. The warrior released her hands from the shackles and instead tied them with rope . "Come, we have things to do". Evelyn took a proffered hand and rose, her collection of bruises making itself known once again.

"Who are you? You are no templar", Evelyn dared ask.

"I am a Seeker. My name is Cassandra Pentaghast", the other replied, leading the way out of the prison. "I am... Was, the Right Hand of Divine Justinia. Sister Nightingale was her Left Hand. We were here for the Conclave, but... You are the only survivor".

"Oh", Evelyn said. She had heard of a Right Hand, but never of a Left. In truth she had never paid much attention to the workings of the Chantry, and it wasn't as if the Circle mages got many news smuggled inside. She was aware though that the two figures must have been very prominent in Divine Justinia's activities. And the Divine was dead now, she realized with sadness. Not only at the loss of the holy figure, but also at the loss of the last chance to make peace between Mages and Templars. She had never wanted the fight. The Circle of Ostwick had been hardly political - with such an old Grand Enchanter, and so removed from other important cities, nobody had great interest in participating in the political manouvers that were surely popular in the White Spire. There had been hardly talk of factions among the mages, and if anybody sympathized with one, it was only at the level of debate in the mess hall. But Grand Enchanter Fiona - or her advisors, most likely - had decided to send her to the negotiations because of her Trevelyan blood, despite her protests that she'd had no contact with any of them in years.

As they walked through the village - Haven? - Evelyn could feel eyes on her, and they were not benevolent. At the sight of the villagers' severe stares, she shivered, uncomfortable.

"They have decided your guilt. They need it", Cassandra said as if reading her mind.

Evelyn didn't reply. It made sense after all, though she didn't have to like it. Cassandra herself was about to kill her minutes before. Had she changed her mind? It was too early to say, and she didn't think the woman would want to make conversation.  
After yet another gate, Cassandra stopped in front of her and took a knife from her belt. Evelyn took a step backwards unconsciously. Was this just a ruse to justice her out of sight? But the other just took her wrists and cut the rope, freeing her hands. "I can promise a fair trial. Nothing more", she said resuming their brisk walk.

They were walking across a bridge when what appeared like glowing stones hit it jsut ahead of them, crushing the bridge and making both women tumble on the ice below.Demons coming seemingly out of nowhere were coming at them, and Evelyn was temporarily frozen by the uncommon sight. Cassandra wasted no time, charging at the demons and preventing them from advancing further. The mage shook herself out of the surprise and decided to help the warrior, fearing that she could get injured. Looking around, she found a staff laying close to a fallen body. Ignoring the uncomfortable sight, she took the staff and started casting spells against the creatures drawing from her experience in elemental magic. Those were the easiest to recall and were proving quite effective. With fire she managed to send in a panic a demon that was attempting to strike the warrior from behind, keeping it away and whittling at its health while the warrior dealt with the first. The Seeker seemed used to protecting others, the way she had charged right away, with no concern for the fact that she was fighting demons. Once the creatures had been defeated, Evelyn relaxed a bit, panting for the exertion. She had rarely needed to use her magic to fight, but she suspected this would become a regular occurrence. Noticing Evelyn had participated in the battle, the Seeker walked up to her with her sword drawn.

"Drop your weapon", she intimated.

Though deflated by the lack of trust, Evelyn didn't execute the order. "I don't need this to be dangerous", she explained matter of factly, "And I want to help. If I had wanted to fight you I wouldn't have waited".

The Seeker thought for a few moments, then nodded and sheathed her sword. "You are right. And I can't protect you from everything. I should remember you did not try to escape", she said, resuming their march.

After an encounter with Chancellor Roderick, Evelyn was a little more certain that Cassandra was now on her side. The Seeker had defended her when he suggested they hand her over to Orlais to justice her. Thankfully the woman had other plans, since she thought she could do something about rifts in the veil that were appearing everywhere. And the big breach in the sky that was expanding... That concerned her too, since apparently it was tied to her mark, and as the one increased in size, the other became more and more painful, bringing her to her knees a few times since they left the prison. The mark was killing her, so Cassandra had said. But how to fix it? That was no magic she knew of.

They picked up new people on the way to the temple; an elven apostate named Solas and a dwarf named Varric. She was sure she had heard that name before, but it was the mage that had caught her attention for his apparently deep knowledge of the rifts, something that to her knowledge was not even a subject of study in the circles. As an Enchanter, she was pretty sure she would have found texts about rifts if they existed. She would ask him about his uncommon knowledge, provided they all survived. He had shown her how the mark in her hand could close rifts, which would have been a relief had the mark not been on her own hand. To do that she needed to get close to the center of the rifts, close to where the demons took form. Her companions provided protection, but it was still frightening to see so many of the creatures up close, knowing they could end her Very fast if the others failed to catch their attention.

They were at the temple now, and the scene made it clear that Cassandra had not been exaggerating when she had talked about an explosions. There were charred remains everywhere, the stench of death permeating the cold air. Where the temple had once stood, now were only ruins, broken bricks to remind where walls had been; blackened stone and strange shiny growths that could have been lyrium had they been blue in color. These were red however, and giving out an aura that set her on edge. "What is that stuff?", she asked. Varric sighed as he spotted the red crystals. "And here I thought I had left that stuff behind in Kirkwall. That's red lyrium", he explained, "and it's very dangerous. Whatever you do, don't get close to that thing. I don't have time to explain how wicked that stuff is". They kept circling inside the remains of the temple, finding a narrow way to descend to where the original rift was.

"Keep the sacrifice still", a disembodied male voice said.  
"What was that?", Cassandra asked.  
"That, I think, is the real culprit", Solas replied grimly.  
Memories of the event lingering in the place? She had heard of something like that, but Evelyn had never had the chance to witness it before. She had thought those accounts were fantasies of unstable minds.  
"Someone help me!", another voice shouted, this time a woman's.  
"That was Divine Justinia's voice!", Cassandra exclaimed, forcing the group to advance more quickly down the stairs.  
"What is going on here?", another voice resounded.  
"Run while you can. Warn them!", said Justinia's voice again.

"But... That was you", Cassandra said, nonplussed. "She was asking for your help!"

"It sounded like that", Evelyn replied, though she had no memory of the event.

The rift was still, bigger than the others and it appeared directly connected to the looming breach in the sky. "It appears that this rift is closed. We could try to open it with the mark, then close it again properly. But be careful, opening it will likely draw attention from demons nearby", Solas said.

"Understood. Everyone, stand ready", Cassandra shouted to the fighters they had disposed around the walls of the temple.  
Warily, Evelyn took a big gulp of air and moved to closer to the rift, raising her mark so that the two connected. As Solas predicted, as soon as the rift opened, demons started to appear, and arrows from the archers sought their targets. Cassandra ran ahead straight at the demons, drawing their attention with a shout and engaging an imposing pride demon. Evelyn did her best to contain her fear, knowing the danger of the opened rift for the common people. She could not afford to cower in fear when so much was at stake. She concentrated, helping the others to defeat the demons with her magic, picking the ones who tried to go behind the Seeker's back or go too close to Varric and Solas.

"Go on, close the rift. We'll cover you!", Cassandra shouted when only the pride demon remained. Evelyn had seen the Seeker withstand a few blows that would have likely killed her and marveled, but quickly she reached the rift, stretching her hand to allow the mark to connect to it. A strand of green energy linked the two, and Evelyn again could not determine what was happening, what kind of magic made that possible. What kind of tool - and power - was necessary to open a rift? Not to mention the huge hole in the sky. She felt herself drained of energy the more the exchange went on, and when the link finally broke, her legs gave out and she fell, grateful to have a moment of rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! I should mention that Cassandra in this story does not think of herself as straight and there will not be a romance scene like the one in the game (I didn't particularly like it). I also won't write game dialogue verbatim and I'll try to avoid going over game missions in detail, because I think it would make the story boring.


	2. Chapter 2

A blinding light filled her whole field of view, then a force like none she had experienced before sent her backwards; she didn't fall as expected however, staying as if in mid-air, weightless. When her eyes could see again, giant spiders were coming at her like a grotesque army. She ran and found someone holding out a hand to help her, it was glowing... The images scattered, and she was in front of severe brown eyes full of blame... then the same beautiful eyes but filled with compassion... A pride demon about to crush her, pain, green light all around her again, another explosion. 

Evelyn woke with a start, her hand going to her chest as if the move could sedate her galloping heart. What was all of that about? Taking deep breaths, she looked around, finding herself in a wooden hut much like the one she had slept in for the few days before the Conclave. A new building, still smelling of fresh wood, no doubt built by the villagers as extra lodging for the participants of the event. A tingling sensation on her left hand brought her attention to it, and upon seeing the green light it was emitting, she realized with dread that none of what she had seen in her mind's eye before waking was a dream. The breach in the sky was real... She had tried to seal it, but... How had she gotten where she was?

Suddenly the door to the hut swung open, admitting a diminutive young elf. Or was she? She always had trouble guessing the age of elves, they all looked young. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake, I swear!", the elf said dropping the box she was carrying, bowing so deeply Evelyn thought there must have been royalty in the room. "I am but a humble servant! You are back in Haven, Herald of Andraste! We know what you did! You stopped the rift from spreading!", the elf continued, flustered, refusing to raise her head. 

The rift? So I did make it, Evelyn realized with relief. Her mind conjured a memory of a giant pride demon, and dread gripped her heart.

"Lady Cassandra wanted to know when you awoke. She's in the Chantry. At once, she said!", the elf continued, oblivious to the struggle Evelyn was having with her memory of recent events.

"Lady Cassandra?", Evelyn repeated. She remembered, the severe woman who had interrogated then released her. Those disconcerting eyes still vivid in her mind as if impressed in her retinas.

"At once, she said!", the elf repeated before storming out of the room.

Well, that was awkward, she mused as she stared at the retreating figure.

She took stock of her body, now that she was free of distractions. She was feeling weak, and her marked hand was throbbing, though it was not giving her much pain. Better to get up and meet that woman, she thought. Then find food, her stomach reminded her. Her legs wavered as she got up, and she had to lean her weight on a nearby table to allow her them to remember how to stand. How much time had she been asleep? Surely it couldn't have been much, yet her weakened body seemed to say otherwise. She collected the box the skittish elf had dropped. Herald of Andraste, she had called her? She laughed. What a silly notion, not to mention a little blasphemous.  
The box contained a set of clothes that should fit her. Nothing fancy, but it was decent enough, considering the circumstance. A soft leather jacket... And breeches! Maker, how she had missed those! The Circle passed almost nothing but dresses... Her mind brought her back there, to the people she had shared her life with for so many years. In a single day she had lost her best friends, the ones she considered her family since her real one had stopped reaching out to her years before. The thoughs caused tears to start pouring out of her eyes, blurring her vision. She sat back on the bed, cradling her head in her hands and sobbing, thinking back to the times she, Rylen and Thea had been inseparable. Lately she had thought Thea was growing closer to her, that she had wanted more, but the Maker had taken that possibility from them, he had taken all those lives... All those people who had wanted peace. She knew it was not the Maker's fault, that likely it had been humans to cause that disaster, probably mages like herself. She redirected her rage to them, the ones who had ignited thet conflict, the ones who gave all her kind a bad name. That helped her stop crying, but now she knew her face would look like a mess. Looking around the room she found that someone had left a washbasin with fresh water. She mentally thanked them and freshened herself up, then started changing her clothes carefully, wanting to avoid fanting again. 

The past day - or days - had been quite unbelievable. A Seeker, an apostate and a dwarf, all helping to seal a rift in the Veil. And a mysterious mark that had made its way on her left hand. Finding out how it got there was pretty high in her list of priorities, and she felt a pang realizing none of the mages she had studied with could help her do a research about it, nor had she access to a well stocked library for that matter. She noticed that the mark was not hurting as much as it had been before closing the last rift. Maybe Solas would help her understand what it was, since he seemed to know so much about the Fade. Of course, that also made him quite suspicious, but he seemed to be genuinely concerned. Maybe it was some branch of magic not yet tested enough? She made a note to herself to be wary of him for the time being. And that Seeker... Evelyn kept thinking about her as she opened the door of the hut, admitting a draft of icy air inside the room. Where had she heard of that one? She frowned, staring at the floor in concentration. She was sure she had... Seeker Pentaghast... But... She remembered some publications that had been smuggled inside the Circle, mentioning that name... That was the Hero or Orlais! She had met the Hero of Orlais, the one who had slain five dragons to protect Divine Beatrix! 

Evelyn sighed and shook her head, trying to calm down her mind and her racing heart. This hero worship was something she could do without if she had to deal with the woman further. Her mind still frantically piecing the latest events in order, she failed to notice that now that she was fully out of the hut every man and woman that had been milling about was lining up and standing with a hand over their heart, their heads lowered, waiting for her to pass. What was that about? Oh Maker, the "Herald of Andraste" thing. She kept hearing the title as she made her way among them, embarassed at being called that because it was not deserved; sure there had been a mysterious woman in the Fade, but really, if she were the Herald of Andraste for real, she thought she would know. Wouldn't she? Thankfully the Chantry was close, and she put on a smile that hopefully didn't look too strained as she walked to her destination. 

She sighed once inside the Chantry, resting a moment against the heavy doors. Someone had to give her some explanation, for sure. The Chantry was devoid of people, she noticed as she proceeded. She could hear raised voices coming from behind a door on the far side of the building. She approached it, but some commotion inside made her stop with her hand on the handle.

"She must be brought to Val Royeaux for execution!", a man shouted. She recognized the chantry cleric with whom the Seeker had discussed on their way to the temple.

"We will not do such a thing. I believe her innocence. She helped us, stopped the rift from spreading", a woman - the Seeker herself - replied, voice raised but controlled. Evelyn was warmed hearing the warrior defending her. It was certainly a far cry from the treatment she had received upon awakening after the disaster.

"For all we know, she wanted it that way!", the other stubbornly replied.

Not hearing voices anymore, Evelyn chanced opening the door.

"Erm, Seeker Pentaghast?", she asked looking inside the room but not entering, trying to make it look like she had not heard the discussion. She spotted the Seeker, who gave her a nod, inviting her to enter. "You are up, that's good. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes Seeker, thank you. The breach... I gather we were successful?"

Another nod. "You did it, Lady Trevelyan. The breach has stopped growing".

"That is great news".

"But we are not done. Now we are faced with the task of removing it altogether. There are also reports of rifts appearing in other parts of Thedas. The danger is not gone", she replied.

"And we need to find whoever is responsible for it", another voice added. Evelyn recognized the other woman who had been with the Seeker the day of the blast, the Left Hand. Face shrouded by a cloak, emotionless mask over her features... She was intimidating.

"I suppose you still have need of me, because of this", she said cautiously, raising her left hand, a faint green light emitting from her palm.

"You would be right. Since you are apparently the only one who can close the..."

"Seeker Pentaghast, I cannot stand by and let you keep treating this woman as though she were innocent", the cleric protested. "Guards, seize the mage and prepare her to travel to Val Royaux!", he said to the two posted at either side of the door.

"Disregard that, and leave us", Cassandra countered firmly, causing the guards to salute and exit the room, much to Evelyn's amusement.

"You have no authority to make decisions, Seeker!"

"And you do? You are a glorified clerk", the woman replied with disgust, taking a few menacing steps towards him. "There is no authority left in charge of the Chantry, least of all you. We have no choice but to do what was Justinia's plan in case negotiations failed", she said, producing a heavy looking book and making it fall on the table with a thud. Hand poised on the cover of the book, she faced him and said "I declare the inquisition reborn!"

"What? You are a heretic", the chancellor said, so enraged that his face looked about to explode.

"This is the only choice that makes sense, Chancellor Roderic", Leliana said with a calm tone. "Justinia planned this. As the Right and Left Hands of the Divine, Cassandra and I will see to it that it becomes a reality. We will fix this".

"Bah. I'm done reasoning with you. You will get what you deserve for this, I'm sure", he said, and Evelyn half expected him to spit on the ground as he left the room full of contempt. 

After he had left, Evelyn returned her attention to the others. "What is this Inquisition you spoke of?"

"The Inquisition is an old institution", started Cassandra.

"It is what gave origin to the Chantry, the Circles and the Templars", Leliana continued. Evelyn's eyebrows rose to her hairline before settling into a suspicious scowl. Maker. That did not sound well. The Circles were now in shambles, and she would not be the one to bring them back. Not the way they had been, at any rate.

"It is what later became the Seekers as well". The Hero of Orlais narrowed her eyes at the change in stance of the mage. "This is history. But now, with the Inquisition we want to have a structure that will allow us to operate and close the breach, independently of the Chantry and of the countries of Thedas".

"And how am I supposed to trust that you do not wish to repeat history? This world is full of people who do the wrong things with power", Evelyn said crossing her arms.

"You will know, by our actions. The Chantry is in need of reform, as the Circles and the Templar order. But what matters is that none of them are in condition to help thanks to... the Conclave, and the war", Leliana explained.

"We want you to be an integral part of it, Herald. If I'm not mistaken, you were willing to help just a few minutes ago...", Cassandra continued, her intense stare evaluating Evelyn. The mage could not help a bit of distrust despite being in the presence of such powerful symbols of the Chantry, with a history of courage and of selfless actions. If the old Inquisition had produced the Circles and the Templars, she was not happy to be a part of it, though that had been a different time, with different people. Forcing herself to be rational, she had to conclude that there was not much choice. She was sure she would be made to 'help', willing or not, because of the blasted mark. The smart thing to do was stay in these people's good graces while she did, and try to sway their opinions if they went in directions she didn't like.

"Please do not call me that. And yes, of course I'll help. This situation is a threat for Thedas, and it would be wrong to walk away when I'm one of the few who can do something about it". And she owed it to her friends who had died in the explosion to find out who had caused it. 

"You resent being called Herald? Are you not andrastian?", Cassandra inquired.  
"I am, but... It just seems wrong. I don't recall what happened in the fade, but to claim that I was sent by Andraste borders on blasphemous", she admitted.

The Seeker's eyes softened, a corner of her lips turning up. "I can understand that", she said. The other woman however remained unreadable, a stony expression on her pretty face, half shrouded by her cloak. Evelyn knew the left hand of the former Divine was still evaluating her and felt a shiver run down her spine. She would have to be careful around that one, though she still didn't know what to be careful about.

"Welcome to the Inquisition, Lady Trevelyan", Cassandra said offering a hand. Evelyn shook it, hoping she would not be dooming her fellow mages with this decision. She may be andrastian, but she would do her best to help her kind get the freedom they needed.

* * *

Cassandra and the Leliana were alone again in the room of the chantry they had been using for private meetings. The Chancellor had stopped being a hindrance, for the time being, but the warrior knew that his point of view likely reflected what many other chantry members would think of the newly resurrected Inquisition.

"So, what do you make of her?", Cassandra asked. She had spent more time with the mage than her companion, but Leliana had an insight that she did not possess, a way to understand things that for Cassandra would require hours of interrogation. It was always good to discuss things with her opposite, though they didn't see eye to eye on many things. Leliana paced slowly, taking her time to answer.

"I think she will do. We'll still need to keep an eye on her, possibly nudge her when things become serious. There's no telling how her nerves hold up when she's distressed".

Cassandra snorted. "These last days seemed distressing enough to me".

"That is true, but she has spent most of them unconscious, and you well know what I mean. We probably will have to fight an enemy, and it has not shown itself yet. We know nothing about their aims, their motivations. It is when sacrifices will be required of Trevelyan that we'll see how useful she is".

"You make a fair point. I do not believe she is good for combat, not yet, but her being a mage should make things a little easier for her. She already knows how to hurt people, even though she has never used her magic for that purpose. And I've seen she's not too scared of demons. I've seen that she can deal with those, at least".

"They must feel like home for her. But still, you'll need to protect her, make sure she survives. That mark is the only thing that can..."

"Seal the rifts, I know Leliana. I'm just glad that she agreed to help. She seems of a good sort".

"Because she believes?". Leliana smirked. "And she's easy on the eye too", she added, pointedly looking at Cassandra, as if wanting to elicit a reaction. "You'd do well not to be fooled by her good manners. Did you not see her reaction at the mention of the Inquisition?"

Despite her flaring temper, Cassandra decided not to rise to the redhead's bait. Leliana was a good friend but sometimes she was too malicious for the Seeker's taste, trying to make her uncomfortable for no good reason. She was not being fooled by the mage's good looks and was not entering that kind of argument with the cunning woman. "I did not miss it. It was an understandable reaction, considering the treatment of the mages is part of what brought us to this point... Still, she decided to help in the end, and that's what matters".

"No doubt she realized that she would be helping us, with or without her consent. That she agreed so readily merely proves that she's not stupid. Or that she has no morals. But I'm more inclined to think the first assumption is true".

"We must work with what we have, Leliana. Better to have a smart Herald that is willing to help than a recalcitrant, stupid one".

"I don't disagree on that. I'm just saying that we should not be trusting until we get to know her better."

"Do what you must, Leliana, just try not to pit her against us. We need to think of a way to get support from the Chantry. It will do us no good to stay on their bad side".

"I have some ideas about that, but I will let you know as soon as I receive news".

"Very well. I'll see you later, Leliana".

She was itching to take some action - do someting, anything. It was too frustrating to wait, not knowing how to proceed, hindered by the very powers that should have been helping. She would feel much better once they knew their enemy and could engage them. Meanwhile, she would have to take her frustration to the practice dummies.


	3. Chapter 3

Finding where Mother Giselle was supposed to be had been easy enough. Getting to her was another matter though, what with all the fighting between mages and templars, and of course bandits too, profiting from the disorders. But if she was able to help them recover the Chantry's favor as Sister Nightingale believed, then maybe it was worth it.

Evelyn was shocked by the number of fights her small group had wandered into while trying to restore order in the Hinterlands, and all in just a few days since hey had arrived. Her sheltered life had not prepared her for the fatigue of the trip, nor the exertion of the fights, but least of all had it prepared her for the amount of violence she and her companions would be inflicting - and receiving. 

In the clearing at the foot of the hill where she was standing, what must have looked like a peaceful rural area now was a war zone. Smoke was coming out of a few wooden buildings; trees had been felled, and a group of mages and templars was, of course, fighting. There was a back and forth of colored lights, and the glint of shields and armors in the warm sun. A few bodies were lying on the ground, unmoving. Evelyn readied her staff, guessing what would come next.

"We must stop them; they will cause more destruction if we let them go", Cassandra said from her position ahead of the group.

"On your mark, Seeker", Varric said checking his crossbow. "Bianca is ready for action".

Solas readied himself, taking his staff and casting a barrier on everyone. 

"You better scatter. We don't want all the targets in a single place", Cassandra suggested. She advanced towards the fighters, all the while intimating them to stop but to no avail.

Evelyn moved further down the hill, near a growth of trees. She aimed at the enemy mages first, using a glyph of paralysis to stop one while she took care of the second. Solas' spells were aimed at a third one. Cassandra was busy fighting the templars and didn't have time to defend from the ranged casters, but Evelyn could see Varric's bolts help her by hitting the templars' armors. The mage she was fighting located her and started retaliating, causing Evelyn to scramble further down the hill to avoid an ice spell. Something suddenly grazed her back and arm painfully and Evelyn lost concentration, suddenly fearing another attack she could not see. The mage she had been fighting was now behind the templars and did not have a line of sight on her.

"Archer!", Solas called, directing his spells behind a fallen tree. It caught fire, causing the one who was hiding behind it to flee, but it was a well placed bolt that stopped his run.

Satisfied that the threat had been dealt with, Evelyn renewed the barrier around herself and the nearby Seeker, who was still busy with one remaining templar, then circled to find the mages. The one she had hexed had become a pincushion for bolts, while the other was trying to heal himself. As soon as he noticed Evelyn, he used another ice spell which she promptly dispelled, then countered with an electricity blast of her own. The man went down shouting in pain; the smell of his burning flesh making her retreat in horror. She still could not take the sights and the smells that came with a battle.

"Are you all right?" Cassandra's voice, suddenly close, made her jump.

"I think so, yes. You?" The warrior looked sweaty but none worse for the wear. "Do you need healing?"

"No, I'm fine. Let's check that these people are really dead", she said and went to the fallen bodies.

Bothered by the wound she had gotten during the fight, she looked at the mage she had just slain, afraid that she would identify him as one of the people that had shared her life in the Circle of Ostwick. She sighed in relief. She didn't know him, nor any of the others they had met so far. It was bad enough to have lost the ones who had been with her for the Conclave; she didn't want to lose the few friends who had instead stayed away. She knew some were with the rebellion led by Fiona, which was supposedly in the area, but not knowing their exact whereabouts kept her on edge, and she knew she would be scrutinizing the mages they would face for a long time. 

"Herald! You are hurt!" Cassandra's voice startled her from her thoughts. 

"It's just a scratch, Seeker. I'll fix it", she replied, reaching for the clothes over her wound. Well, it did sting. Quite a lot, now that she had touched it. She examined her hand, now covered in blood. Her own blood. Sticky and viscous. The sight of it made her feel lightheaded, the oxygen in her lungs insufficient. Her body got heavier and heavier and she was powerless to stop it from slowly falling to the ground. Maker, not again, she thought, but consciousness escaped her despite her efforts to stay awake.

When she woke up, her body was lying on something too thin to protect her from the rocks that covered the ground. She felt heavy as lead. She had to stop fainting. What would her companions think? She had lost track of time again, but seeing the clear sky above her, a beautiful sight that until a few months ago would have been uncommon, she guessed that this time she had not been out for long. Sitting up, she looked around trying to find out where her companions were.

"She's awake", she heard Solas, then saw that her companions were all there, still in the middle of nowhere in the Hinterlands. Solas approached her and crouched with a smile. "It's all right, Herald. You lost a bit of blood, but I think what made you faint was shock".

Evelyn noticed the controlled smirk on his lips and blushed. "Oh. I suppose... I'm not exactly used to seeing much blood", she said trying not to look too much like a fool. All these people around her were well versed in battle, and here she was, fainting at the sight of her own blood. The Seeker was visibly trying to contain laughter. Offended, Evelyn stared at her, daring her to speak up. "I'm sorry Lady Trevelyan, it's just that... You have slain dozens of demons so far, and even some mages and templars, but the sight your own blood makes you queasy... I find it... curious", she said, trying to measure her words.

Evelyn decided to get up, try to forget the incident as soon as possible, and felt a gauntleted hand seize her arm, pulling her up. The Seeker. "Easy. You are surely still weak", the Seeker said gently. "I am sorry, all this fighting might be a bit much for you".

"I... I'm sure I will get used to it", Evelyn replied, though in her heart she prayed the Maker she wouldn't have to. But of course, the Maker's plans lately seemed to leave much to be desired. Realizing her mental misstep, she chastised herself. Disrespecting the Maker was not right. It would not do to lose faith now, when it was needed the most. "Thank you, Seeker".  
"It was my fault", the other said, her features hardening. "I should have been more careful. If I had seen the danger..."

"Seeker, be reasonable. The archer was hidden. You know we rogue types prefer to stay out of sight, to avoid being targeted by the likes of you..." Varric said, a trace of levity in his voice.

"The Herald is my responsibility", she replied heatedly. "Her getting hurt is a failure on my part".

Evelyn couldn't believe her ears. "That's nonsense. None of us had spotted that man. If anything, it's my fault. I was closer and you were busy with two templars..."

"I should have checked the area before charging. You don't..."

"Enough. I think we all learned a lesson here. I don't find your protracted bickering productive anymore", Solas said surprising everyone into silence with his peremptory tone.

"Well, I think we can proceed then", Evelyn said, glad to leave the discussion.

* * *

That night at camp Evelyn sat on the bank of the river, a small distance from the rest of the group. She threw small pebbles in the water, watching the ripples form on the surface. The sky was clear and everything seemed peaceful around her, and she wished some of that peace would touch her mind. It was fascinating how nature carried on unfazed by the turmoil humans were bringing to the land. Her contemplation was interrupted by the sound of approaching boots, but she could not tell whose they were, not knowing her companions well enough. Soon Varric was sitting beside her, watching her pebbles hit the river.

"So, Sizzles, what's bothering you?", he said after a while.

"Sizzles?"

"Yeah. It's what you prefer, right? You like to shock everyone", he said with a smile, referring to her preference for spells of the Electricity school. "Actually I first thought of calling you Sunshine, because you remind me of someone I used to know, a mage like you. You are blonde, and... You have a bright smile, when you bother to put it on". He paused and looked at her. "Yes, just like that. I haven't seen you smile much so far, which is a pity".

"I'm quite worried lately; smiling doesn't come easy", she said, still smiling at his obvious efforts to cheer her up.

"And what are you worried about? I mean, besides the gaping hole in the sky, I suppose".

Evelyn's gaze stared at a distant point, turning serious again. "When I volunteered for this, I didn't realize... I didn't realize my job would involve so much killing".

"Ooh, a crisis of conscience then? It's good to know you have one. Conscience, that is. You could do without the crisis part". Evelyn directed a hard stare at him.  
"It's true. Not everyone has a conscience, and it's good to know someone with power has it".

"I suppose. Though I don't have any power; I'm merely a tool", she replied, turning her left hand so that it showed the flickering green light of the mark.

"I don't think so. You are the Herald now, remember? There's great potential for the Inquisition, and you, if your people play their cards right".

"They are not my people. Not really. I mean, have you seen them? The Hero of Orlais, the Left Hand of the Divine, who I heard helped in the last Blight, then a former Templar Commander and the former Ambassador of Antiva. I'm just..." She shook her head. "I used to be a noble, but my family pretty much disowned me when they delivered me to the Circle. I just happen to have something these important people need".

"You don't give yourself much credit", he said, giving her a pat on the shoulder. "They rely on you. They need you. If it weren't for you, the Inquisition could do nothing. Trust me, that is power".

Evelyn considered his words. He had a point. With the inquisition, as long as she didn't stand on the sidelines, she could do something better than just be pretty and wave her hand at rifts. "I'll think about it. Still, the point stands. I didn't sign up for this to become a serial murderer".

"Of course not, none of us has. But you see what we are finding. People are fighting, and innocents are being put at risk because of them. The choice is to do nothing or to take care of the problem. And mages and templars are so caught up in hating each other they don't realize they have a chance to stop".

Evelyn nodded. "I know. It just feels wrong. I know most mages are not evil, and neither are most templars. To have to kill them is so... pointless".

"I have seen lots of pointless violence, Sizzles. Eventually you accept that it's either you or them. And if saving yourself saves innocents as well, it's easier to accept".

"You are right. Thank you Varric".

"Anytime, Sizzles. Now we better turn in, tomorrow we'll have more fighting to do to get to this Mother Giselle".

* * *

Cassandra couldn't help but slap a hand on her own forehead in frustration. "That was the fifth fennec today! Could you at least limit yourself to rams? You know the refugees can use those".

"I'm sorry, Seeker", Evelyn said sheepishly. "I really didn't mean to... They just startle me, jumping out of bushes like that".

"Yeah, remind me not to throw surprise parties for you, Sizzles", Varric said.

Cassandra sighed. At least these poor animals' fur could be useful. She drew her knife and crouched on the fennec, waiting for it to stop sizzling. And it could be worse. If the mage used fire instead of electricity when startled, they couldn't even use the skin for leather. Satisfied that the animal could be safely touched, she started the gruesome task of skinning it. She noticed that the mage's eyes were downcast, as if sad for having taken a life so gratuitously, but she had turned as soon as she had begun to work on it. 

The woman was too soft, she thought as she cut the skin with measured movements, making it easy to peel it from the flesh. If she didn't toughen up, she would soon become useless for the trauma. She was inclined to believe that the Maker had sent Trevelyan, that she was who they needed in their direst times, but... Would the Maker really send a mage? And such a skittish one at that. The Maker had his plan and she should not question it, or she would be stuck just like when she questioned why he had taken Justinia of all people. All she could do was believe, and do her job. And her job right now obviously required her to prepare the mage for what they had to face day to day.

Finished with her task, she tied the skin of the animal to her belt, to dangle with the ones collected before. "Come, the refugees shoud be just beyond that broken bridge. Mother Giselle should be there", she instructed and started walking ahead of the others, knowing they would follow promptly.

They walked through the dark archway that, judging by the amount of refuse and objects scattered, was being used as a temporary dwelling by the refugees. Beyond that, so many people were gathered in the area that it looked like a lively village, but a more careful examination could tell that many buildings were half destroyed and the villagers were desperate.

One of the agents Leliana had sent informed them that the refugees were in need of winter gear to stave off the cold in the night. A hunter they passed complained about the lack of food. Smirking at Evelyn, she told him they could help with that and arranged with another scout to bring down the ram meat they had brought to camp during the day, courtesy of the Herald.

"We'll have to hunt more", Cassandra said as they kept looking for mother Giselle. "Hunt, I said", she said to Evelyn. "You need to be more selective with your targets". Evelyn blushed and looked down. 

She recognized chantry vestments ahead, the dominant red in the clothes signaling that it was a Mother indeed. Cassandra walked purposefully to her. The woman was surrounded by refugees; as the scouts had said, she was taking care of them instead of fleeing to the safety of a city like many others had done. She stopped a short distance from her, turning to Evelyn. "This is up to you. Try not to make a mess". Evelyn nodded and straightened, approaching the cleric with slow, elegant steps. The Seeker noticed that she had worn a sort of mask, reflecting her noble uprising more than usual. A good trick to have, but also something that she disliked in nobility, that willingness to disguise, to deceive others. It was one of the things that made her stay away from the Game. Was Trevelyan such a player, despite her many years away from the noble circles? Somehow the thought bothered her more than it should.

"Mother Giselle?", Evelyn started.

"You must be the Herald of Andraste. I have heard about you", the woman replied appraising her and her companions. Evelyn had the grace not to protest the use of the title and instead performed a small bow.

"I am honored. I was told you wanted to see me"

Cassandra kept observing the mage, ready to step in should she cause offense to the cleric. But she was conducting herself well, all grace and polite smiles, and Mother Giselle seemed pleased, and encouraged her to reach out to others who might be swayed to view the Inquisition in a better light. That many clerics would leave the faithful without guidance and help was troubling, but some good souls existed still, and this Mother seemed to be one of them.

"I will travel to Haven and share with Sister Nightingale a list of clerics I know of. Maker be with you", she concluded.

Satisfied of the results, Cassandra felt a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She nodded to the returning mage in approval. "You did well. Now we should see to finding the horsemaster, and making these refugees safer before we leave".

They walked in the direction of the farms and as soon as they were out of the guarded area, Cassandra stopped Evelyn. 

"You walk beside me. Do not start casting until I take action or I tell you to do so. Understood?"

"Understood", the mage replied, her cheeks taking color. 

"We cannot afford to kill farmers or their livestock by mistake. People know very little of us, and giving a bad first impression like that would cost us dearly", she explained, not wanting the mage to take it the wrong way.

"Of course. I'll do what you say".

That night after a ram based supper in a camp patrolled by their scouts, Cassandra called Evelyn. "Come, I'll show you something":

Evelyn complied wordlessly. Cassandra had started to fear that the woman was too used to taking directions from others, not used to being the owner of her own life. She guessed Circle life would do that to a person. One more reason the Circles had to be reformed, but that was for another day. For now, she just wanted the woman to be more aware of her surroundings, so she would use her magic with better focus. They walked in silence, and she saw the mage relax, her eyes searching the stars shining overhead; the comforting sound of crickets around them. It was peaceful, and she regretted that she had to give a lesson instead of simply allow the woman to relax.

"Where are we going?", she asked when the camp was not in earshot anymore.

"Here it should do", Cassandra said, spotting a stream nearby. She extracted one of the pebbles she had stuffed in a pocket and threw it in the water, knowing the darkness prevented Evelyn from seeing her action. A number of birds that had been resting on the water was startled and took to the air squeaking. Evelyn was, as predicted, startled, and magic flared to life around her. Cassandra took hold of her arm gently, preventing her from casting. "Birds. No need to kill them, unless you are hungry".

Evelyn nodded, not protesting the hold on her arm.

Cassandra resumed walking, keeping her hold on Evelyn to direct her. It was a quite dark night, the moon not out yet. After a while she stopped again and as before threw a pebble, this time near a tree ahead of them. It hit something with a metallic clunk, and someone moved in the bushes, disturbing the leaves around. Evelyn's magic flared again, but Cassandra's hand was already on her arm and she squeezed, stopping her from taking further action.

"It's just us", Cassandra said to the one that had reacted, "As you were". She turned to Evelyn, whose magic had stopped shrouding her. "That is one of our scouts. He's keeping guard for us", she explained, turning back to the camp. "What would have happened if you had used your magic on him?"

"Maker! I don't want to think about it. But I didn't know he was there..."

"I know you didn't, that's why I brought you here. But here's the thing. If you had paid more attention to your surroundings, you would have noticed the glint of his shield. And noticing that, you would have looked more carefully and noticed his shape as well. We are in the wilderness. It's crawling with wildlife, but there are people as well. Some friendly, many not so. You need to be aware of everything, instead of walking around as if we were in a garden. Wait before you act, when in doubt".

"I.. I understand. It's not going to be easy, I'm afraid. I can't even recall having been in an area such as this one."

"I figured as much. Don't worry, we are all here for you, we'll help you. I just want you to start working on yourself, to become more aware so that should anything happen to the rest of us you'll have more chances of survival".

Evelyn didn't reply, instead she regarded her pensively. 

"It could happen, Evelyn. More than you probably imagine", she said, staring her square in the eyes. "You must be more independent, for all our sakes". Maker, the mage seemed so scared in that moment. Cassandra hated to be the one to give this kind of talk to her; words were not her forte and she was likely worrying the Herald more than necessary. She felt a strong pull to cup her face with a hand, tell her everything would be alright... but she resisted the urge and turned to the trail, leading them back to camp. Maybe Leliana was right, if she was so easily softened by a pretty face. "It will take time, I know, but you are smart. You will succeed", she said, hoping in her heart it was true.

"I will do my best, but you'll have to teach me", the mage at last said.

"That I can do".


	4. Chapter 4

"There. According to the farmers, this should be the last rift in the area", Cassandra said pointing at the wavering green column in the distance, where farmland gave way to the wilderness again. 

"Good. I've had enough of these things for one day," Evelyn replied as they marched to it. She was proud of herself, having gained more control over her reactions lately. Cassandra had not had much reason to scold her, something she considered quite a feat. Their other purpose for getting in the Hinterlands had been reached as well, with Master Dennett who gave them his word to send his best mounts to Haven.

As they approached, the mark, as its usual, shone more brilliant and bothered Evelyn with a throbbing pain, though it was easily bearable. Perhaps her exposure tu many rifts in the past days was allowing her to build up some resistance. Demons were moving about like mindless cattle, as if lost and with no clue about what to do. She knew that would change as soon as they spotted the group and inspected them now that she had a chance. It was the usual fare of Wraiths, Shades and a Terror; the latter were among the worst, with their ability to jump out of nowhere and knock people down.

"I will take care of that Terror. Try to keep the others off me while I do it," Cassandra announced, shield and sword in position, and trotted to the rift. Something moved in Evelyn's peripheral vision. She checked the area and she spotted a Despair demon she had previously missed.

"Wait, Cassandra," she shouted, but the woman could not stop to listen because the demons were already flocking to her. Panicked from he knowledge that Despair demons were slippery and could dish out lots of pain - at least, according to the treaties she had read - she worked to thin the herd that was attacking the Seeker. "Solas, keep an eye out for the demon to the right in the trees. Fire magic should be good to stop it."

"I see it. You are right to be wary, Herald. Those demons are dangerous when not alone," he replied without losing his usual cool.

"It's moving. I'll try to stop it. Varric, keep watching Cassandra's back." Too late though, because the Despair demon was attracted by the fighting and added its own icy breath to the others. It covered Cassandra in a white layer, slowing her movements. She raised her shield to avoid most of it, though at the cost of exposing her to the other's attacks. Evelyn ignited a ball of fire right on the Despair demon, stopping it for a few seconds and giving Cassandra time to recover, but not before a Shade grazed her. Solas helped with a wall of fire in front of the Despair demon, who took notice of their presence a distance from the fighting.

"Oh shit. I think it's coming here," Varric said before disappearing in a puff of black smoke.

Smart. But that move meant the Despair demon had only two targets to choose from. Preparing for the worst, Evelyn erected a barrier around herself and Solas, while he did the same around Cassandra, who was still in control of the battlefield. Varric's bolts were helping her, though Evelyn could not see where he had moved after his diversion.

A long trail of freezing air emitted from the Despair demon in a sweeping arc. Solas dove to avoid it while Evelyn took the other direction, casting an immolation spell before hitting the ground and rolling back on her feet. She shook the icy droplets that had grazed her and the sensation of helplessness that had come with the attack, knowing it was the demon's doing. Her own spell had hit the target, causing the demon to stop, panicked by his opposite element. Both mages cast a flurry of fire spells, keeping the demon disabled most of the time. Seeing that the rift had produced another couple of Shades, Evelyn realized that she'd better close it before they got swarmed.

"Can you finish this alone?" she asked Solas.

"I think so," he replied, relentlessly focusing on the Despair demon.

Evelyn took off in a run, stopping near the rift to close it while the demons were all distracted by the others. The mark reacted, stinging less and less until the buzzing pain from earlier gave way to a sensation of release and the rift closed. It didn't take long after that to finish off the Shades.

"What happened?" a wary Cassandra asked after the fight. She dropped the sword and lowered herself to the ground. "Maker, I think I've been wounded." She reached for her shoulder, where her armor had been torn. Blood had soaked the undershirt and stained the leather over it. 

"We better take care of that. Can you make it to the camp?" Evelyn asked.

"I think so," she nodded. The mage helped her up, assessing her. Nothing else seemed amiss, so she uncorked an elfroot potion and made her drink it, then helped her walk to the horses they had left out of danger.

"We found an unexpected demon, Seeker," Solas explained on the way. "The Herald tried to warn you, but it was too late. We took care of it as fast as we could, though I'm sorry it was not enough to avoid you being wounded."

"I heard the call, but could not go back and risk bringing the demons to you. It's nothing serious, Solas. What matters is that we were victorious in the end."

"Agreed."

Evelyn was not so sure that victory was the only thing that mattered. Maybe if she had been faster, or more powerful, the Seeker would not have been wounded. Despite that she found it comforting that her knowledge had helped in the fight and they had gotten away with only that incident; maybe she could offer something to the Inquisition after all, something that had not been gained out of sheer luck - or lack thereof, depending on how things turned out. She mounted on her horse with a little effort. Her skills on a horse were still a bit rusty, but master Dennet's mount proved easy to lead. It had been how long since she had last ridden? It must have been on that trip with the researchers, so long ago she didn't want to calculate. Nevertheless, it seemed that the lessons she had received in her youth were still well remembered by her body, especially the ones she had gotten clandestinely so she could ride like a knight instead of just side saddle like a lady; a harmless act of rebellion that now she was glad she had indulged in. She kept glancing at the Seeker a few paces ahead of her, who was riding with a hand on the reins and the other keeping a cloth on the wound to stop the bleeding. She had such a perfect profile, Evelyn could stare at it for hours. She was so different from her past dalliances in the Circle. Her previous companions did not have the noble posture of the Seeker, nor the courage or the dedication. None of them was as striking, though at the time she had thought some of them were. The Seeker turned and looked at Evelyn as if sensing her stare.

"I am fine, Herald," the Seeker said.

"O- of course. I was just... making sure. Wouldn't want you to fall off the horse from loss of blood," she said. It was also partly true, after all. Cassandra just nodded, her attention back to the road. Luckily the other woman had not noticed her staring. It had been hardly appropriate to compare the Seeker with her past lovers - what was wrong with her? Evelyn turned her concentration to mentally revisit the healing spells she would need to use on the woman, embarrassed at her wandering thoughts.

"I am sorry for earlier," Evelyn said as she followed the Seeker into her tent.

Cassandra turned with a confused frown. "What are you apologizing for?"

"I called you by name when you ran off to the demons. It was just faster that way, I meant no disrespect."

"That was bothering you? There's no need to stand on ceremony, Herald. You may call me Cassandra."

Evelyn smiled. "As long as you stop calling me Herald... At least in private. I understand the need to keep appearances in public, if the Inquisition wants to play on this legend of Andraste helping me out of the Fade."

"Fair enough, Evelyn," Cassandra said sitting on her bedroll. She started unfastening her chestpiece. 

"We should get you better armor," Evelyn said as she helped the Seeker out of it. The undershirt was stained with blood at the shoulder and Evelyn's stomach rioted. Determined not to be hindered, the mage took a deep breath, removed the garment and took stock of the wound. It was an ugly gash, the raw flesh in sight almost enough to make Evelyn hyperventilate. Yet the Seeker had done nothing more than grunting so far. Thankfully she was standing behind the stoic woman, so she would not see her falter. Evelyn had received some training in healing, only this time it was a little more impressive than the practice sessions she had gotten at the Circle. 

"This will sting," she said though she knew it would do more than that, passing a cloth imbued with a salve to clean the area. The Seeker just went rigid for a moment. Evelyn had to wonder how used to pain she had to be to have so little reaction.

The cleaning finished, Evelyn concentrated on healing, touching the fade and finding a Spirit to aid her in the task. She watched as the skin and muscle slowly mended themselves.

"Did I do the right thing?," the Seeker said.

"What about?"

"What I have set in motion might go against the very things I have believed in all my life. I might be remembered as a heretic, a madwoman."

"You did what you thought right. It seems to be giving results as well. Why doubt?"

"To do this I've had to leave my Order, defy the Chantry I have been serving for so many years. What if I am wrong? I have been before. If I think how I almost killed you back then..."

"But you didn't. And you had every right to suspect me. Most people would have killed me without a second thought."

"Maybe. But it scares me that I almost destroyed the only chance we have of making things right." The mark, of course, was Cassandra's first thought. While perfectly understandable, Evelyn's mood deflated at the realization. The skin meanwhile was mostly mended, the spirit not lingering longer than necessary. The healing would have to complete on its own. "We are done here". She stepped around the Seeker to face her, then realized that the woman was almost naked from the waist up, save for the binding over her breasts. She was lean and muscular just as she had expected, yet the sight brought a blush to her cheeks. Maybe she wouldn't have blushed, she scolded herself, if she had not also desired to trace those muscles, that perfect neck... Huffing in annoyance at herself she tried to hide her reaction by looking around the tent. "Where do you keep your clothes?"

"You don't have to do that", the other said and walked to a chest near Evelyn, donning a clean shirt with a few swift movements. "Thank you for healing me", she said, her eyes, too close to ignore now, softened by gratitude. If only she could make this woman take interest in her as a person, she thought, enthralled again.

"It's no trouble," she almost stammered. "You shouldn't beat yourself up about what happened in Haven. I don't hold a grudge."

"Still, it's worrying. My instructors used to say that I'm too brash, that I should think before I act. But when I see something that needs to be done, I just do it. I see no point in standing there waiting"

"It all turned out all right though, didn't it? And the Inquisition... What other choice did you have? The Chantry and the Templars are not helping. What right would they have to condemn you?"

"If it was the wrong choice, I may have condemned us all, and they would have plenty of rights to complain".

"You were backed by many others", Evelyn said, refusing to let the woman shoulder all the responsibility. "Besides, it's done. It's out of your hands now", she concluded, wrapping a hand around one of the Seeker's for comfort. Cassandra looked at the entwined hands in surprise, and Evelyn removed hers before the other could, suddenly conscious of having overstepped. "I'll let you rest," she said and left the tent. Outside she took a deep breath. It was obvious that Cassandra had more consideration for her mark than for her as a person. And she was sure Cassandra wouldn't be interested in someone so beneath her, even if she shared her inclinations. Better to keep her instincts in check and avoid heartache.   
Back in her tent she contemplated the amassed books she had collected from fallen rebels, with the intention of keeping all that knowledge from being lost. Some of the volumes were rare, probably pulled out of a Circle library in a hurry when the mages escaped. She took from the top of the pile the tattered tome on magical warfare she had been reading the past nights and continued her studies.

* * *

Leliana walked through the chantry, her destination the Ambassador's office. The Herald had returned from the Hinterlands and the Inquisition was getting many requests and offers of cooperation by the people who had been helped in their lands. The Ambassador no doubt would have her hands full for a while with the many scrolls she was taking to her. In front of Josephine's office she raised her hand to the door when it swung open and a furious looking Herald came out of it in a blur of leathers and blond hair, almost toppling her in her hurry to get out. Surprised, she looked at the woman as she stormed her way out of the chantry, letting the heavy door slam closed after her. 

"I hope she won't set something on fire", Leliana said entering the office. "Am I to assume diplomacy failed with the Herald?"

"Leliana!", a contrite looking Ambassador exclaimed. "I am so sorry... I am afraid I managed to upset Lady Trevelyan!"

"I had gathered that much. What happened, Josie? It is not like you to enrage someone you are supposed to work with".

"I am afraid I wrongly assessed the situation. We were talking amiably for a while; she told me about the balls at her aunt's mansion, where I have been a few times as well."

Leliana sat on the edge of Josephine's desk, waiting for her to continue.

"Then I suggested that her contacting her family might ease their apprehension and also bring good will to the Inquisition..."

"I see. Did I not warn you that she is not in the good graces of her family?"

"No! Had I known, I would not have made such a foolish mistake. To think that I wanted to give her a good impression, make her feel at home".

Good Josie, always thinking of the good of others. Sometimes it just didn't work out. And this time, it looked like it was Leliana's own lapse in her duties to have caused this. "It is I who should apologize, Josephine. I should have told you... I just had so many things to take care of that I thought you would ask her and know for yourself if you needed to".

"I should have, I know. But in our earlier talk she didn't mention her falling out with the Trevelyans, so I assumed nothing was wrong. And I thought offering to write to them would have been a welcome gesture. Instead, she thought I wanted to use her."

"Ah, that's why she was so upset. I'm sure you'll have time to make up for that, don't worry. You could charm the most rabid of men with that mouth of yours." As soon as she had pronounced the words, she realized her faux pas and her mind wandered out of its own volition. Ah, that mouth, Leliana thought wistfully. It could do much more than charm, as she recalled with a pleasant though inappropriate tingling in her body. But that had been way in the past, relegated to the memory of a couple moments of drunken fun in Val Royeaux. Of course, Leliana's double entendre flew right past Josephine. She never quite got the flirting, and in this case maybe it was better that way.

"You flatter me, Leliana. I'll try to talk to her again... Maybe when she has calmed down; I don't quite like the idea of knowing firsthand how good a mage she is. Does she like tea? I should invite her for tea, make her talk... I should find out what flavor is popular in Ostwick... Or would reminding her of the Circle cause offense as well?" she said scribbling notes on a piece of paper, frowning in concentration as she sought the best possible remedy for her misstep.

Leliana smiled. Josephine tended to babble and she found it an endearing trait. "I don't know, Josie. How about you ask her? You don't have to treat her as if she were one of your diplomatic projects."

"Of course, you are right." She turned her stylus in her hands, looking at it as if it were unfamiliar. "I'm just a bit nervous, because... What if she really is the Herald of Andraste? I have never been particularly religious, but what is happening in Thedas is making me question what I know."

"Just be yourself and she'll like you, I'm sure. Herald or not, as far as I know she doesn't feel any special." Leliana had stopped having so much faith in people, even when they seemed to have been chosen by the Maker. Her tragic experience with the Hero of Ferelden had taught her that. But Josephine, so bright and well intentioned, did not need to know about such darkness yet, though she was sure whatever was plaguing Thedas would have its way to make Josephine experience the bitter truths of the world.

"Thank you Leliana," the Ambassador said, still flustered. "You always could make me calm down, no matter how distressed I was. I'm glad that we can still be friends after all this time."

"As am I, Josie," she said patting Josephine's hand. She meant it, but the word still brought a pang in her heart. She had wanted Josephine as more than a friend in the past, and that had not changed with time, as she had discovered since the Ambassador's arrival. But the woman had always seen her as an older sister, much to her regret.

* * *

Once out of the Chantry, Evelyn kept walking in long strides, no destination in mind. She had gone to Josephine to talk, to see if she could help with something; staying in the village for days was very dull unless she could find something to do. She had noticed that the Ambassador was so friendly and kind thought thought she could befriend her, have a familiar face who brought a semblance of normalcy in her days. Instead the woman had to go and try to use her to get her parents' favors . The gall! They had not even talked privately before, but the only thing in her mind had been to profit from the connection so that the Inquisition could get coin and prestige from one of the most prominent families in the Marches.   
Walking around for a while she realized she didn't have a favorite place to vent in Haven. In the Circle she would go to some forgotten room or take long walks in the garden. Here nothing was particularly familiar yet, so she decided to look around and find a peaceful spot. The village was getting more and more crowded by the day; pilgrims, refugees and recruits livening the area. She found it unlikely to find peace there, so she decided to head out of the walls and walk near the river.

"Going somewhere, Sizzles?", Varric intercepted her.

"Varric. I was going for a walk. I could use a friendly face if you have the time". She liked the casual cheerfulness of the dwarf, though she didn't doubt he had his own demons well hidden.

"Sure. Where did you want to go?"

"I was thinking about a walk to the river. It looks nice and quiet there".

"All right then". He fell into step with her. "Now spit it out, what got your panties in a bunch?"

"And what makes you think something's wrong?"

"Are you kidding? When I stopped you, you were frowning so hard I thought your face would split in two", he replied with a laugh.

"Oh, I just had a... an unpleasant discussion with someone. It brought bad memories to mind".

"Talking might help, you know? And I happen to be a great listener, besides being a particularly handsome dwarf."

Evelyn laughed. "There's no need. Your handsomeness is uplifting enough."

"Fine, keep it to yourself. But remember you can talk to me if you need it," he added more seriously. "With this shit you stumbled into, you should have run the first chance you had."

"Thank you Varric, I appreciate it. But let's not talk about these things now. I figure the breach will still be up there tomorrow, ready to swallow the world." 

"Way to lighten the mood, Herald," he smirked.

"Now that I think about it, I seem to remember reading a book in the Circle, by a certain Varric Tethras..."

"Oh? So I'm famous up there too? Do tell, which book was it?"

"It was called... _Swords and Shields_ , I think."

"Oh, that," he said, shaking his head. "That's one of my worst serials, you know? How did you come by it, anyway? I didn't know the Circles kept that kind of readings."

"In fact it wasn't in the library. We had... ways of getting some extra publications that would otherwise never get to us. It was our way to keep in touch with the rest of the world."

"Ah, literary smuggling. I wonder if the Carta ever thought to capitalize on that. Well, too late now. I can understand the thrill of the forbidden, but really, you could have done better than _Swords and Shields_. _Hard in Hightown_ is still selling pretty well, for instance."

"Oh? But I liked it. It was sappy, in places, but overall I enjoyed it."

"I suppose good literary taste doesn't come with being a mage then," he shook his head in mock disapproval. "You should read more, if that drivel is something you consider good."

"I'm open to suggestions. I've seen a library in the chantry, but I suppose there's not much narrative there."

"Something tells me you are right. At most you'll find religious treaties. I'd turn to some other library for literature."

"Or maybe you could give me some sneak peek into the next thing you'll write," she suggested wiggling her eyebrows.

"I'm afraid you'll have to work hard for that kind of privilege. But on second thought maybe I should, if nothing else because you are providing some good material for my stories." She gave him a playful shove in answer.

The river was frozen, the landscape so white and silent aside from their own voices and the distant clangor of the recruits training that Evelyn's previous fury now felt out of place. She took in the majestic mountains and the birds flying high in a frantic attempt to find prey, thankful again that she had the opportunity to look at the world as a free person. Or mostly free, anyway. Shivers brought her out of her contemplation. She realized the daylight was ending and the cold seeping into her bones now that they had stopped walking.

"Maybe we should get back. I would hate to have you freeze out here just because you agreed to keep me company."

The dwarf smiled. "Yeah, I'm not a big fan of frostbite, though I'm sure I would make a nice ice statue."

They arrived in the external courtyard, where Cullen was still training the recruits. But another sight caught Evelyn's attention. The Seeker was practicing with a wooden dummy, her shield slamming on it; her sword dancing in fast strikes that left in tatters its burlap cover. 

"She's really something," Evelyn said, her eyes captivated by the woman.

"Yeah, that she is," Varric said. "Insufferable. That woman is a crazy zealot, if you want my opinion." 

That made Evelyn look back at him. He had not been kidding, as his stormy expression confirmed. "Oh? I take it there's some bad blood between you two? I recall you saying you were a captive too when we first met."

"I was, though she was keeping me hostage so that I could tell my story to the Divine. Obviously as that's no more necessary she kind of released me." The Seeker stopped her practice, noticing the two staring at her. "Well, I better go back. I don't particularly look forward to a conversation with her," he said before walking to the doors of the village.

Evelyn stared after him, surprised. She had not seen him angry at anyone so far; his behavior around the Seeker in the Hinterlands had been civil enough. She'd find out one day, but right now the Seeker seemed to be waiting for her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You are a force of nature, Cassandra".

"You flatter me", the other replied without looking up from her sword.

"Hardly. It is merely the truth".

Cassandra regarded her with a suspicious look, then shook her head. "I saw you watching me. Is there anything you need?"

"I was simply... " enjoying the show was not something polite to say to a lady like the Seeker, and Evelyn had to bite her tongue not to say the words. "Passing some time with Varric, clearing my head. I did not mean to distract you from your practice."

"No need to apologize. It's getting late anyway."

Evelyn stood silent. She was not willing to part with the woman yet, but she hardly had an excuse to stay. "It occurs to me that I know very little about you," the other offered.

The mage was surprised at the admission. "I would have thought Sister Nightingale had information about me."

"She does. She has collected a frightening amount of information about you," the Seeker said. "But I didn't read it. If we are to work together, I'd rather know it from you."

"That's... something I can appreciate. What would you like to know?"

The Seeker thought about it. "For a start, I would like to know where you are from."

"I thought you already knew that. I'm from the city of Ostwick. I don't have to tell you that I spent most of my life in the Circle there, I guess."

"So you were never transferred? You were born and raised there?"

"No, I was as you say born and raised there. My family has a long history of allegiance to the Chantry. We... They always give the youngest to serve."

"I had heard about them, but with so many nobles it is hard to keep memory of every family. With my job I thankfully do not require it."

Evelyn smiled, remembering something. "I was supposed to be given in service of the Chantry, you know? I decided I wanted to be a templar rather that a Sister. Help people, be chivalrous... Ironic, isn't it, that I ended up on the wrong side of the barricade," she concluded shaking her head.

"I'm sorry. It must be hard to have one's aspirations destroyed like that."

"Don't be. I was seven when I decided I wanted to be a templar. Hardly a well thought out choice. In fact, I don't think I would be suited for the job, even if I were not a mage."

"How old were you when..." Cassandra trailed off.

"When my magic manifested? I was twelve". Evelyn looked ahead towards the walls of the village, her eyes unfocused. "I used to play in the woods of our estate with my older brother Victor. We are close in age, so we spent a lot of time together, trying to evade supervision. One afternoon we were out there looking for lizards and trying to find some exotic animal. My mother was busy with some guests, my father was away. We were not far, just enough to be out of sight from the servants who worked in the mansion." Cassandra nodded in understanding, encouraging her to continue. "They knew of our little escapades, of course, and I believe they always kept an eye on us. Anyway, Victor decided he would play a prank on me, so at some point he disappeared from sight without me noticing. He jumped on me from behind, making me so scared that it must have triggered my reaction..." She looked at the Seeker with a smirk. "I'll bet you can tell what my first spell was."

Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "You... hit him with lightning?"

Evelyn nodded. Electricity had always been the form of magic she could summon effortlessly, something she could use out of instinct. "Actually, we both got hit. The lightning hit an area around me, setting some bushes on fire. My brother and I shrieked and fell unconscious. Servants say they came out and found that he was not breathing, they had to reanimate him. He recovered fully, but apparently I had it better since I can't recall having suffered any effect. They pulled us away because in the mean time an old tree caught fire from the bushes. Of course, at that point the servants couldn't pretend nothing had happened."

"And your parents?"

"They didn't want to believe, in the beginning. How could a Trevelyan be a mage, after all? That would ruin their image. No, they waited, convincing themselves that it had been an accident, since that day it had also been on the verge of raining the whole time. But we all knew what happened, they kept me under constant watch and forbade me to see my brother. They only delayed the inevitable, and one day when I unwittingly set the door to my room on fire, they summoned the templars". She stopped to look at the Seeker. "I'm sorry, you probably didn't mean anything like this when you asked to know about me", she said, suddenly self-conscious. She didn't go around talking about her personal facts so easily; she blamed the forced familiarity caused by their adventures together.

"It is all right. I am glad you spoke to me about this", Cassandra said. Evelyn could read the compassion in the Seeker's eyes and felt irritated. "What about you? I know next to nothing..." she said to change the subject.

"There is not much to say. I am Nevarran, the 78th in line for the throne..."

"Oh, you are related to the royal family. Wait, you are keeping track? Do you aspire to the throne?"

"Of course not", Cassandra regarded her as if she had grown a second head. "I keep track because that is what most people ask next after learning that I am a Pentaghast."

"I see. You say that as if it were a distasteful thing."

"It is to me. Most of the Pentaghasts are an example of how a noble family should not be. We are renowned for being dragon hunters, but most of my relatives would have trouble getting out of their chairs unaided. I left that life behind many years ago, and I do not like to dwell on it."

"I suppose I understand. But you can hardly shed your noble upbringing. The way you speak, the way you carry yourself... Nobody could mistake you for a commoner."

Cassandra scoffed. "Bullshit."

"Well, maybe I am not right on all accounts", the mage laughed. "So you left your family? What happened then?"

"I became a Seeker, have been for most of my adult life. I have also been in the service of the last two divines as the Right Hand."

"And just what does a Seeker do? I have heard them mentioned in the Circle, but never met one personally."

"We supervise the Circles, and the Templars. Make sure no abuses occur against mages, intervene if templars need correction. We also carry out investigations in the service of the Chantry."  
That soured Evelyn's mood. The woman was not a Templar, but her order had been in charge of them... For all the good it had done. "Funny that. And who supervised you people? Because I'm quite sure something went wrong in your job."

Cassandra frowned. "That is unfair. The Seekers alone could not fix something of that scale. And the mages secretly conspired to start the war," she pointed out.

"Is that what you think? The Circles are wrong in the first place. And abuses from Templars were often overlooked. The word of a mage was valued way less that of a Templar..."

"The Circles are necessary, Herald. The mages are too dangerous to be allowed to be unsupervised. I know it must have been hard for you, but..."

"You think you know? You have always been on the other side, Seeker", she spat. "You don't get to say that you know."

Cassandra's frown deepened, her voice taking a hard edge. "You are not the first mage I meet, Herald. Do not tell me what I know. Have you seen the destruction a single apostate can cause? I have. You don't want that kind of disaster on your conscience."

"That does not mean everyone else must be caged. Or do you plan to throw in jail everyone with a sword as well?"

"It is not the same. A mage can be overtaken by a demon without even being aware of that. And templars exist for the mages' protection as well, as you should know. They have saved many mages from scared villagers."

"Mages should take care of abominations as they occur. And the villagers... surely you realize that if the Chantry changed its stance about mages, the population would stop being so scared."

"Now you are blaming the Chantry? I thought you approved of it. Divine Justinia has worked so hard to build something better for every party involved, and look what happened. In Kirkwall, then the Conclave..."

Now why was she talking about the rebellion in Kirkwall? Really, if she could strangle the crazy mage that had started that, she would. "That is not the point..." Evelyn shouted, then stopped herself. She sighed and shook her head, trying to get a hold of her rage. It was pointless, they were getting nowhere and it was not her place to argue with the woman about such things. "I didn't mean to turn this into an argument, Lady Pentaghast. I better go." She walked away before she said something else she would regret; she knew she was too much on edge, a stranger in an impossible situation and with a company she never would have sought out on her own. In truth, as she spoke she was also concerned that the woman would throw her out or jail her; she had looked so enraged. Evelyn could feel the Seeker's eyes on her back as she walked to the walls of Haven, then the unmistakable sound of a shield bashing against wood. She blamed that silly hero worship that had made her seek Cassandra out, made her hope her interest would be reciprocated, blinding her to the obvious differences they had and would likely never overcome. They weren't likely to even be friends, though her stupid heart had been dreaming for more behind her back. Now she could see more clearly, at least. She should take to practicing with Solas, he would surely be a good source of new spells and good techniques. Yes, that would be a good way to fill the days while she had to stay in the blasted village. She walked to the tavern to get dinner, determined to leave the unpleasant events of the day behind.

* * *

Evelyn sat at a table, a fuming stew in front of her. Most tables were occupied, mostly by workers, soldiers and recruits, judging by their clothes. People kept giving her glances, like they had been since she had awakened after stabilizing the rift at the temple. She was getting used to it, helped by the fact that almost nobody seemed to want to approach her, but of course that also made her feel like an outsider. If it weren't depressing it would be funny, the way she was not really part of the leadership of the Inquisition, but was not accepted as part of the lower ranks either. The villagers chatted happily, making the place loud and cheerful; waiters were coming and going between the tables in a hurry to serve everyone. Evelyn thought of how she had almost never before seen a tavern, let alone one as full as this one, and was reminded of the earlier fight with the Seeker. She regretted having lost her temper, but on the other hand she was glad that the discussion showed her how different they were. Surely now it would be much easier to get her out of her head, since Cassandra's ideal scene included the Circles, with mages tightly locked in them. Could she really not see other solutions? She found herself disappointed that the person she admired so much was as blinded by old chantry propaganda as most people were. Magic existed to serve Man, but nowhere in the Chant was written that it was to be subjugated and kept out of sight. She sighed, moving pieces of stew around the plate. She didn't really feel like eating, but forced herself to get something in her stomach. 

Someone casting a shadow over her table made her look up and she found Josephine looking at her somewhat sheepishly. Evelyn sighed, afraid that the Ambassador wanted to continue their discussion. The Ambassador seemed to understand her reluctance and gave her an apologetic smile.

"Lady Trevelyan, I was hoping to find you here. May I?", she asked pointing at the seat in front of Evelyn.

"Of course", the mage replied; she could hardly be so rude to the Ambassador as to deny her permission to sit at her table.

Josephine eyed with distrust the rough wooden bench and adjusted her dress before seating. The gold and blue satin attire was not easy to overlook, and it seemed so out of place in the tavern where people of lower stations gathered. Evelyn thought the Ambassador was an unlikely guest in such a place and wondered if it was an urgent matter.

"Did you need something, Lady Montilyet?", she asked feigning interest in her now cold stew.

"I thought it would be best to apologize, before too much time passed with this misunderstanding between us unresolved. I am afraid I gave you the wrong impression earlier today". The waitress approached and took her order. The Ambassador only ordered a drink. Of course, she probably didn't like the plain foods served there.

"You don't have to apologize. You were only doing your job...", she said, though not really feeling so inclined to forget the incident.

"No, no, I'm afraid we really had a misunderstanding, and I wish to make things right with you", Josephine insisted. "Please allow me to explain myself. You are troubled enough by the events, I do not want to add to your burdens."

Evelyn looked up from the stew. Was the woman being sincere? Or was that just more diplomacy at work, where the previous attempt had failed? "All right, Ambassador. I'm listening."  
"I was not... informed", she hesitated around the word, "that you were not in good relationship with your family. I was really sorry to hear that, my Lady. Since you mentioned nothing about it either... well, I assumed..." 

Evelyn nodded, waiting for the woman to continue. She really seemed to be worried about finding the right words.

"I was in good faith when I thought that you might want to contact the Trevelyans to inform them of your well-being," she continued looking more at her own folded hands than at Evelyn. "I know, it is an unforgivable lapse on my part. I know I gave you the impression of wanting to use you, for your connection. Please accept my apology... I did not wish to trouble you. I was merely thinking of gaining advantage for the Inquisition while also being of service to you. If I had known..."

Her drink arrived, and the Ambassador looked up at the waitress, smiling and murmuring a thanks, grateful for the interruption. The woman did seem contrite enough, though Evelyn was not particularly adept at recognizing a good act anymore; the Circle of Ostwick had not been particularly big on the Game, though some of the enchanters seemed to think that they were in line for the throne of Orlais. She decided to give the younger woman a break. Angering the highest people in charge of the Inquisition would do her no good, after all, and having soured the relationship with the Seeker already...

"I think I understand, Lady Montilyet. I accept your apologies," she said.

The Ambassador smiled and nodded in relief. "Thank you, my Lady. I was so worried... To think I caused you such distress... I really am sorry. I promise I will be more careful in the future."  
Evelyn couldn't help but smile; she could understand why this woman was the appointed diplomat for the inquisition. She seemed so genuine, so caring. She could only hope it was true, but knew of the masks important people had to wear, and could not fully trust her impressions, not yet at least.

"Nothing serious happened, Ambassador. Let's just put this behind us."

"Very well. But, I must say... I wish you had been more... articulate with me on the subject. I had, after all, asked about your family and...". The woman paused. Evelyn could figure that her mind was working hard to avoid giving offense again. She couldn't help but smile, enjoying the other's predicament as a form of revenge. She had, after all, soured her afternoon, though unwillingly.

"Well, just tell me if there is something outstanding that I should know of, before I make a fool of myself again", the other finished. Evelyn laughed. She was already liking this woman. "Of course, if there's something you do not wish to share with me, I'll understand, but I would like us to be able to talk more freely."

"Do not worry, Lady Montilyet, I will." 

"I am also a little ashamed, actually. I must have made a very poor impression as the ambassador of the Inquisition. I assure you, I usually get better results while doing my job."

"I don't doubt it. I am sure Leliana wouldn’t have wanted you here if you were less than capable."

Josephine brightened at the mention of the Left Hand. "She had a very thorough screening process before hiring me, that is true. Leliana would not settle for just anyone, and I am grateful that she chose me, though life in Haven is not particularly comfortable."

"Ever the diplomat. I will speak plainly for the both of us: Haven is horribly cold and so out of hand that most provisions get to us mummified. On top of that, accommodations are rough at best. But hey, it's still better than sleeping in the open and eating roots."

Josephine laughed and nodded in approval. They stayed in companionable silence for a while, then Josephine sobered a bit, passing a hand on the rim of her cup. "I wanted to talk to you about a decision I have to make. I wanted to ask you because... Well, it feels right, since your name is involved. You have a right to say how to deal with this."

"What's this about?"

Josephine sighed. "A member of your family, a cousin five times removed I believe, is boasting he has a connection to the Inquisition. I'm sure you can understand how this cannot sit well with us."

"I see. But a cousin five times removed? I would hardly call him family. What are you planning to do?"

"Well, we have a few ideas, of course. The snow will melt from the Frostbacks the day all the advisors agree on a decision. Leliana proposes to spread rumor of assassins coming for him, as is her style. Cullen instead insists in a show of force."

The advisors were quite predictable. Cassandra would just run him over with her shield, Evelyn thought with a smile, then groaned inwardly, realizing she was still thinking of her even now. "What about you?"

"We could simply promise them some favors and ask them to reign in this boisterous individual. It is hardly something new, and we will have to deal with such types again, I'm afraid. It's nothing to lose sleep about."

"Your proposal is reasonable, but hardly deserved. Why promise favors to people who slight us?"

"We never know what support we might need in the future, Herald, and that is why it is good not to anger families irrevocably. And right now we need all the benevolence we can get so that we gain more reputation. So this is the way I would deal with the situation, obviously. Of course, I'm aware that you might have something against my idea in this case."

"You are quite right. I see no reason to let these people out so easily. I say we should go with Sister Nightingale's idea."

"Are you sure? A move like that would hardly gain us benevolence with them."

"It would not, but it would give them enough fear to keep them in place while no cutting ties with us completely. Cullen's suggestion would be too aggressive and that would make them dislike us, but yours would give them an advantage... And I'm not feeling particularly inclined to us owing a favor to the Trevelyans. But of course, the decision is yours."

Josephine appeared pensive for a while, sipping on her drink, then nodded. "I suppose I can go with your suggestion, if nothing else to appease you. I do not think we would have much to lose following this idea, though naturally it is not my usual style."

Evelyn smiled in satisfaction, though she wondered how someone like the Nightingale could be friends with a gentle soul like Josephine.

* * *

Evelyn walked in the near darkness with Josephine, their laughter sounding almost too loud in the quiet village. Evelyn had to admit she was enjoying the company, a thought she would have dismissed as crazy just a few hours before; the ambassador was the kind of company she used to keep in the Circle, though they had been less sophisticated. When they arrived in front of the tent where Sister Nightingale used to work a light was still on inside. Josephine approached the tent, murmuring in disapproval "Don't tell me Leliana is still working this late." She was there bent over something Evelyn could not see.

"Leliana, you really should get some rest. I stopped counting the times I have seen you still working when I was going to bed."

Leliana stood and turned with calm movements. "I will, Josephine. I just have a few more messages to send", she replied. Her eyes darted between Josephine and the Herald when she found her friend not alone. "You know I can't afford to delay sending these."

Josephine sighed. "Very well. Please take more care of yourself. You'll be exhausted in a few days if you keep this up."

"Don't worry. You should get some rest yourself. I promise I will go soon," Leliana said, her attention going to the table.

"Goodnight then. Goodnight Herald. I am glad we have solved our misunderstanding", she added smiling to Evelyn, who replied with a courteous nod.

Evelyn looked at the spymaster's tent. She saw a few scattered parchments, but the woman had not appeared to be writing when they arrived. Her attention was caught by a portable shrine, two candles lit at the base illuminating the rough rendition of the likeness of Andraste, making it a beacon in the darkness of the tent. Leliana noticed her lingering and turned to her.

"So, Herald, you speak for Andraste, no?", the spymaster said, catching Evelyn by surprise. "Tell me then, why does the Maker ask so much of us? And for what reason if he wouldn't even save the most devout among us?"

Was that what was keeping Sister Nightingale up late? "I'm sorry, Sister. I wish I could help you but I have nothing official to say. According to tradition, the Maker has left us."

"And yet he did manifest himself in the past; he called the prophet to his side, didn't he? Yet now he turned away from us. No matter how much we sacrifice, the only reward we seem to get is death. Is that all there is? To be freed from the burdens of life? But what is the point of this all then?", she replied, not even looking at Evelyn. It was sounding more like an internal monologue than a request for answers from the Herald.

Touched by the pain the spymaster seemed to be keeping from everyone else, Evelyn searched her mind for something that would give her comfort. Leliana may not be her favorite person in Haven, but her devotion was remarkable.

"Maybe the reward is not in this life. Maybe what happens to us is just the product of the minds and actions of men, and it is how we deal with all this that proves our worth in the eye of the Maker, and with our passing we will know whether we have his favour or not."

"You speak wisely, Herald, yet you keep denying to be such." She shook her head. "Is it even worth having the Maker's favor then? If he won't even protect those who sacrifice the most for him, for his children."

Evelyn understood then what was really troubling Leliana; she should have suspected it earlier, since she had been the Divine's Left Hand. Had she no one to confide in? Or was she just shutting everyone else out? Considering her bitterness, she thought the obvious conclusion would be that she was keeping everything buried and working to exhaustion to avoid thinking. "I am sorry Sister. I understand you must be mourning Most Holy's passing, but you cannot let your faith be shaken. It is in moments like these that our faith should be our anchor, drive us forward." She hoped what she was saying would not be pushing too much the boundaries of their relationship. The woman until now had not shown particular interest in her, at least not in person. She was sure her people must have been keeping her under constant watch. "I... If you want to talk about your loss, maybe it would help...," she dared suggest. 

"It is not necessary, Herald. I don't know what I was thinking, I should not have let you see me like this. I promise it won't happen again." The sudden change in stance surprised Evelyn, as if Leliana had shared too much and retreated in her shell of silence. She had already returned to her papers.

"It's no trouble. You don't have to hide your grieving, Sister. You are only human, like we all are." Leliana didn't answer, and Evelyn sighed, understanding she had been unceremoniously dismissed. She left the tent, shivering in the cold wind until she reached her lodging. She still wasn't sure conquering the woman's benevolence would be worth the effort.

* * *

Cassandra sat at Josephine's table, quill in hand and a scribbled paper on the table. She frowned at it, as if her menacing stare could make the words rearrange themselves into workable shape out of fright. Unfortunately they were less impressionable than her usual interlocutors. She was tempted to break the quill in frustration, but sense suggested that it was not a good idea to ruin one of the ambassador's supplies. Thoughts of Josephine's impending arrival only added to her frustration, making it harder to concentrate. She read again the few lines she had written, declaring them passable. It wasn't as if she was concurring in a poetry contest, after all. 

While pondering what to write next, her thoughts drifted again at the argument of a few days before with the Herald. Her mind, much to her annoyance, had a way to go back to the woman and distract her from more pressing thoughts. They had not spoken since then, and Cassandra had gotten more and more distracted. She occasionally saw the mage, either practicing with the apostate or walking with Varric. She had noticed that the mage also avoided having any contact with Cullen outside of the war room and wondered at her deep seated distrust of templars, which might have sprung the discussion in the first place. Had Evelyn experienced some kind of trauma at their hands? The tought filled her with anguish, but right now she could hardly walk up to her and ask such a thing; plus every time she was spotted, the mage's expression hardened and she looked away, making Cassandra feel even worse. She had no reason to apologize, of course - neither of them really did. But seeing the mage in friendly company of the others made her feel... alone. She tried to erase the word from her mind as soon as she had thought it. No, of course it was not so, because she and the Herald had only been moderately friendly before the argument. She had no reason to have any feeling of loss. She was merely disappointed that they couldn't see eye to eye on an important matter. And maybe seeing that she was getting along with the others, with no need for her, made her feel a little useless. On the field the mage depended on her for protection, but here there was simply no danger. She remembered that time in the Hinterlands when Evelyn patched her up and touched her arm. She had been surprised, but didn't realize the touch was welcome until the woman removed her hand, and now she wished she had reacted in a more welcoming way. But that was the past; now it was clear that they could hardly become friends beyond what was required of them in away missions. Sounds inside the building made her realize that she had spaced out again. She shook her head in frustration, trying to go back to what she was doing before, but soon after the door opened, letting in the rightful owner of the station. Cassandra sighed, getting up to let the woman take her place.

"Lady Pentaghast, you surprised me," Josephine said. "And here I thought I had gotten up early. May I ask what you are doing here before dawn?"

"I didn't mean to disturb your work, Lady Montilyet. I came here early so I could take advantage of your desk to write some letters."

"Did you manage to finish? I can let you work some more if you need..."

"No!" Cassandra winced, having spoken more forcefully than intended. "That won't be necessary. I'll finish this another time." She was embarrassed to let the Ambassador notice how hard it was for her to perform a task that to the other was so easily done. Next chance she had, she should just be done with it, good form or not.

"Is there something I can help with? To whom did you intend to write?"

"I... well. I really shouldn't take up your time, Ambassador. You came here early for a reason, I suppose."

"Of course. But I am in the service to the Inquisition, and it is my duty to serve its members as well if it can benefit us."

"That is the point. This is not specifically Inquisition duty. I just meant to get in touch with the other Seekers, since I have not heard from any of them in some time."

"Are you worried about them? I can help you finish this and get it out of your mind."

"I'm not sure if I should be worried yet, hence the idea to get in touch. I don't know where they have scattered to since before the Conclave. I have heard no news from Lord Seeker Lucius either."

"I understand. Look, we can be done in little time, if you let me help. I understand how this uncertainty might weigh on your mind."

Cassandra sighed. It was the reasonable choice to let Josephine help. Biting her lips, she replaced her scrolls on the desk. "Fair enough. I wrote only a few letters, maybe you should just take care of the rest. I have written here where the seekers were supposed to be last I knew of them. There are a few lords to contact, in Ferelden and Orlais", she said adding another paper.  
Josephine examined the list and the written letters with a slight frown. Cassandra kept adjusting the cuffs of her shirt, bracing herself for a mocking laugh, but that never came; instead the ambassador sat down and took her quill. "I know about these lords. I'll write down the last letters for you, Lady Cassandra, if you don't object. I assure you it won't take long," she said. The seeker nodded and sat on a nearby bench, wondering whether her letters were really acceptable for the nobles they were addressed to. It was really inconvenient that she had no way to contact the Seekers directly, but she could hardly justify using the Inquisition's search parties at this point.

"Here, they are all done," Josephine said after a few minutes. 

"Already?" Cassandra asked. It had taken her considerably longer to write her part.

"You forget I do this kind of thing for most of the day, Lady Cassandra", Josephine replied with a smile. "Now we can both go about our day with more peace of mind".

"Thank you, Ambassador. I am in your debt."

Josephine just waved her away. Certain that Josephine was just too nice to criticize her writing skills, Cassandra left to find Leliana's tent. She was already there, surrounded by a number of scouts, Cassandra figured it was to assign the day's work. She waited a few minutes until they were dismissed, the papers in her hand already half crumpled because of her nerves. What if she didn't find the other Seekers? She was half hoping she could convince some of them to help the Inquisition. Maybe even Daniel could be convinced now that the Inquisition was becoming a powerful entity, if his wish for a promotion was not superior to everything that was going on in Thedas.

"Cassandra. Do you need me for something?"

"I have a few letters I would like to send. Can you spare some crows?", the Seeker said handing her the scrolls. Leliana examined them and shook her head.

"I can't send them all today, but I'll make sure to do it over the next few days. Will it do?"

"Of course. It's not that urgent. Thank you." She turned to leave but Leliana stopped her.

"Wait. I have heard something about your discussion with Trevelyan..."

Cassandra huffed, not liking to be reminded of the unpleasant disagreement. "What of it?"

"What was it about?"

"Am I expected to believe you don't know?"

"They said you two were rather loud at some point, but I don't have the whole picture", Leliana smirked.

"It's just that we have different ideas about the Circles, as you can imagine. She was being... unreasonable." Her blood was beginning to boil again at the memory. The Herald didn't have enough experience to understand that her aspirations for the mages would be the end of many innocents. And yet she was saddened by the distance that argument had put between them.  
"How so? This is about mages wanting to be free from the Circles, isn't it? Why is it that you and many others can't conceive of them governing themselves?"

Cassandra ran a hand through her short hair, shaking her head. "You too. I know you have rather liberal ideas, but the matter of the Circles cannot be solved by a few casual conversations between people who have no actual authority to act."

"Not now, no. But we might, one day. I see no harm in talking about it - in a civilized manner, of course."

"Whatever. Right now I think we have other priorities."

"Indeed. But see, you and I can talk about these things without shouting. Why is it that you and the Herald can't?"

"She is too invested in this subject, obviously."

"And you are perhaps too invested in the Herald, I suppose."

"What? Are you out of your mind?" Cassandra crossed her arms. Why was Leliana going with this line of thought again?

"There you go again. Look, you can deny all you want but I'm not blind. Do whatever you feel right. Just... be careful."

"I have no interest in the Herald, Leliana. You'd do well to forget this silly notion you have." 

"Fine, I won't mention it again. But you should really be more honest with yourself."

"I am. I'll see you later Leliana." She was not lying to herself, was she? Her interest in the Herald was purely as someone possibly favored by Andraste, a symbol of her faith. Surely it was perfectly understandable and not necessarily meant what Leliana was thinking. As she was walking away she realized she was doing exactly what Leliana had wanted. Ugh, after all these years she should have learned to keep her former counterpart from messing with her head. It was a moot point anyway, since now the Herald hated her, but no matter, she would continue to do her duty and protect her, and to the void with her own personal feelings. There were rifts to close, enemies to vanquish, clerics to convince... though the latter she'd gladly leave to Josephine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to BloodRose for volunteering to beta this! Also, thanks to everyone for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

The trip had been quite miserable. Evelyn had kept her distance from the Seeker, and she was doing the same thing, but avoiding each other when having to share spaces and food was proving to be a very unpleasant affair. They exchanged few words, only related to their dangerous mission, like the strangers brought together by circumstance they actually were. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, she was not willing to overlook their differences. If Cassandra thought all mages should be locked up in a Circle, that included herself, and she knew the Seeker was ignoring that small detail only because of what she had gained that day at the temple. It was hard to want to be friendly with someone who wanted you caged. Varric and Solas had noticed something was off, but said nothing about it; she had chatted with them during the voyage, but the Seeker had kept mostly to herself, her mood not exactly inspiring the others to approach her either. It had been surprising to Evelyn that Cassandra had volunteered to accompany her to Val Royeaux for protection, but after all the woman was very dedicated to duty and her professionalism was to be admired if nothing else. They were taking a great risk to face the chantry when the city could well still be hosting a contingent of templars, but she understood it was the only way to try and get more freedom to operate in Thedas. All those rifts appearing throughout the lands guaranteed that people everywhere would have demons to face, and the repercussions could be disastrous for everyone. It was for that reason that she agreed to face her own demons in this trip.

It had been a long couple of weeks, but they finally arrived at the capital of Orlais. Val Royeaux was just like she had heard from friends in Ostwick, tales exchanged huddled around a lantern in the long winter evenings, shared stories of their past lives or of trips taken with the sanction of the Circle. The outskirts of the city had been unremarkable, with modest dwellings that could be found in every other city, but as they neared the pulsating core of the capital, the riches of the citizens seemed to grow with proximity to the Grand Cathedral, which was looming in the distance, a monument to the powers who built it more than to the Maker, she suspected. They had passed the Avenue of her Reflective Thought, with its imposing statues and the less than pleasant smells, then found themselves in the market district. It was bustling with activity, with people of all shapes coming and going. Of course it was mostly elven servants and human nobles, each with their own distinctive mask. Tall buildings surrounded the square, colorful and adorned with shiny details; everything looked like it had been built to stand out, and the effect of some combinations was to make her want to stop looking. Merchants cried the quality of their wares, offering everything from armor to house decor to food. Delicious smells of delicacies alternated with the stink of decay that didn't spare even a city like Val Royeaux, but the underlying sea smell was ever present and made her feel unexpected pangs of nostalgia for Ostwick, whose shores were visible from the Circle tower. She observed the silly masks and gaudy vestments the nobles were wearing as she passed, but some of them seemed equally puzzled by her party's appearance. She didn't pay much attention to them, since they were after all a strangely assorted group, until she heard someone mutter about the Inquisition being a danger. The noble who said that actually took off at speed, as if fearful of them.  
"Cassandra," she whispered, "people seem to already know who we are." And of course, the Chantry had made sure that their reputation was already as bad as could be. Would they ever learn? They were antagonizing the only force in Thedas that was actually doing something about the breach.  
"I noticed. We can only hope to improve our position after we speak with the clerics."  
A young woman made her way through the crowd to the group. "My Lady Herald," she said kneeling. Evelyn was sure she'd never get used to that kind of display. "You are one of Leliana's people. What is going on?" Cassandra said.  
"It looks like the Chantry has spread word against us, knowing of our arrival. There is also word that templars are in the area."  
"Templars? That doesn't sound good." Especially if their reason for being there was to capture her as an apostate. But then, what would they do? Lock her in the White Spire, alone? Torture her? Actually, that didn't sound too far-fetched; she tried to hide the shiver that ran through her spine.  
"Send word to Sister Nightingale that we might be delayed," Cassandra said to the scout, with a confidence that was at odds with the words she had spoken. What could a handful of them do against the number of Templars that could be gathered in as large a city as Val Royeaux?  
"Let's go. The sooner we are done here, the better," Evelyn said. The tension in her body was rising, making her start sweating; she silently prayed to Andraste to watch over her party.

When they reached the main square, it was evident that something was going on, judging from the people aggregated around one place. She exchanged looks with Cassandra, who nodded in encouragement, before proceeding. Despite everything, the Seeker was still who she turned to when in doubt; she couldn't discount her experience and valor just because of an argument. 

Making their way through the wall of people, they stopped in front of a low platform where a few Chantry clerics stood, addressing the people. Upon seeing the Inquisition, the crowd gave them space, their expressions indicating that it was not out of kindness but fear. It was uncanny, but all became clear when she paid attention to what the Revered Mother was shouting. 

"You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more!" A sinking feeling made its way into Evelyn's heart. Surely the Revered Mother would not accuse... "Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise when our beloved fell," she said, pointing her finger at Evelyn. The treacherous bitch! She had no idea what had really happened and dared spread such voices. Evelyn looked around, half expecting the crowd to lynch them, but surprisingly they stayed still, though they began pointing fingers and murmuring their displeasure. This could not stand.

"We are not the ones who took the Divine's life. The enemy is still out there, and the Chantry is doing nothing to stop them, nothing to protect the people. We, the Inquisition are doing that," Evelyn shouted, hoping to sway some people who still had a brain in their heads. "We need help. We need to be united until the danger is gone, or we'll never succeed."

"Listen to them," the Revered Mother countered as if it were a political debate, "even now they try to mislead you. They only wish to destroy the Chantry and build their own heretical cult. They insult Andraste by pretending that this woman - a mage! - has been sent by her. They must be stamped out!"  
Evelyn's breathing was so hard she wasn't sure she could shout again, the rage fogging her mind. It was so unjust, yet the people of Val Royeaux seemed to be in agreement with the lies they were hearing. The Inquisition at that point had no authority to make the people heed them instead of a well-known cleric. Some commotion to the left drew attention then, and people moved to make way to someone else. A line of templars walked to the platform. Cassandra's hand found Evelyn's wrist, holding it lightly, but Evelyn didn't know if it was to restrain or reassure her. The sight of templars in those numbers made her want to flee, but she knew she could be easily captured if she attempted that. She refused to show that kind of weakness now, especially as she was at the forefront of the Inquisition; she decided to stand her ground and look defiant, straightening her posture. Maybe the act would make her feel some of the courage she needed. 

As the templars walked on the platform, one of them casually backhanded the Revered Mother who had been talking without so much as a warning, which made the mage reconsider her earlier notion that they were there to capture her. The display of violence shocked everyone, making the crowd murmur again, but nobody moved a finger to assist the Sister who had fallen to the ground. She couldn't help but feel some satisfaction even as she was horrified by the gesture. She knew some templars were barbarians, but her experience had taught her that they came in all kinds, like regular people. To see someone so blatantly abuse his power was a bad sign that times had changed.  
"Still yourselves. She is beneath us," a man older than the other Templars said.  
"Lord Seeker Lucius?" Cassandra exclaimed.  
The man in question turned as if hearing an annoying sound. "Cassandra," he addressed her, his voice full of contempt. "You left the order, built your little operation. You should be ashamed of yourself."  
"What? The order has lost its way. The Templars abandoned the people they were sworn to protect. And you want to accuse me?"  
"We are being called to solve this mess that the weakness of the Chantry caused. We followed their rules, and this war is the result. We will not be restrained any longer, we deserve to be our own force, to act freely and fulfill our mandate. I declare the Accord null."  
"This is absurd. The breach in the sky is threatening all of Thedas. What do you plan to do about that?" Evelyn said, not even caring anymore what they could do to her.  
"Your Inquisition means less than nothing. We do not owe answers to you."  
"Lord Seeker Lucius?," Cassandra said more in disbelief than as a question.  
Evelyn thought that maybe addressing his subordinates directly might yield better results. "Templars! Some of your order already joined the Inquisition. You can do it too, help us end all this."  
"And by associating themselves with you, their reputations are lost as well", Lucius replied instead. "Val Royeaux is undeserving of our protection. We march." With that, despite how a few of the templars seemed hesitant, his group left, leaving everyone to deal with the realization that the city didn't have a Templar order anymore.  
The Seeker seemed lost in thought, following the retreating figures with her eyes.  
Evelyn hazarded a touch on her forearm to get her attention. "Cassandra?" The woman turned, her attention not yet with Evelyn though. "Are you all right? You know who that man is?"  
"He is the leader of my order. He was never an ambitious man, but now... I don't know what to think anymore."  
"I am sorry. Things are getting stranger by the day, it seems," Evelyn said.  
"Of course, this display reflects just what you thought of us, right? You must be pleased that the world is bending to your warped sense of reality."  
That stung. "That is unfair! I most certainly did not want this! How can you even suggest..." Did she really think her so petty?  
"A-hum, I'm all for a good show, but I'm afraid we have the wrong audience for your discussion. I suggest you hold it until we are out of here," Varric interrupted. He was right, they were still in the middle of strangers that they hoped would one day support them; having a discussion here would just show that they were divided. Cassandra's words hurt her, but she could keep appearances for everyone's sakes.  
"Let's move out of here," she suggested to the group, walking in the direction of the Avenue. "Where do you think they are going?" she asked to go back to the important topics.  
"I don't know. They left the Chantry. He said they want to be independent... That is madness. The Seekers were to oversee the Templars, but now they will have no one to keep them in check." She shook her head. "I cannot believe it has come to this."  
"I suppose we cannot count on the Templar's support anymore," Evelyn mused. "But the good thing is that the people here are not focused on us anymore." The square was almost empty, the entertainment over. "Let us get out of here before they change their mind."  
An arrow flew past Evelyn and landed on the square, almost grazing her head in the process. She turned to spot the assailant, but didn't see any movement from the upper levels of the building where the arrow seemed to have come from.   
"An arrow! Are we being attacked?" Solas said.  
"If so, they have lousy aim," Varric said going to fetch the arrow. It had a small slip of paper tied to the shaft. He opened it. "It says something about some 'Red Jenny' having information about someone. What do you think?" Varric handed the paper to Evelyn.   
"Might be worth checking out. It looks like there are some clues scattered about in the area. We could find them and see where they lead."  
The others nodded their assent, but not Cassandra, who was petulantly staying out of the conversation.  
Grimacing, Evelyn decided to take charge without waiting for the Seeker to answer. They had only taken a few steps when Evelyn saw a woman at an intersection who looked at them as if waiting for them to approach. Evelyn changed course a little to the woman dressed in a robe that looked similar to those of a Circle mage. Surely she was wrong, there was no way for a random mage to be there in this particular day of all things, but when they stopped a few steps from her Cassandra's exclamation removed all her doubts.   
"Grand Enchanter Fiona?"  
"The Inquisition. I am glad I was able to find you here, Herald of Andraste," the mage replied with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.  
Evelyn was certainly not expecting to meet the leader of the rebellion in Val Royeaux of all places. She had never been part of the rebellion, but some of her group had left to join Fiona's for protection, waiting for some other opportunity to decide their course of action. She didn't know the Grand Enchanter if not by fame, but she would have thought she'd not risk getting caught by the templars that had stayed in the city, powerful mage or not.  
"I am glad to make your acquaintance, Grand Enchanter. What brings you to Val Royeaux? I thought you were stationed in Ferelden."  
"I was looking for you. Word has gotten to me of the Inquisition and of the mage that can apparently close rifts; I know you mean to close the breach in the sky, and I wanted to extend an invitation to Redcliffe, to discuss a potential alliance between your forces and the rebels."  
"I see." Evelyn looked at the others, who were either puzzled or suspicious. They had not been able to get to Redcliffe because of the village's anxiety at the still opened rifts at the time; the gates to the village had been closed. Surely it would have been more practical for Fiona to seek her out while she was there. "We were just considering seeking out your help, actually. I suppose we will meet you in Redcliffe," she said, looking for confirmation from the Seeker, who merely nodded, though she was observing the Grand Enchanter like a guard dog would a stranger. "Just one thing... how are my compatriots? I know some of them looked for you around the time of the Conclave. Did they make it there safely?" She was almost afraid of what the response would be. With all the fighting in the Hinterlands it would be no surprise if her former companions had fallen trying to get to Redcliffe. Fiona however looked at her as if uncertain of what she was being asked, then finally answered.  
"We will talk about it when we meet in Redcliffe. I look forward to meeting you there, I am sure we could have an alliance profitable to us both. Farewell." With that she disappeared in the crowd. She didn't even seem to have company with her. Had she no concern for her own safety?  
"What do you think?" she asked the others, resuming their walk.  
"We should be careful. The mages are in a tough spot right now. We know not what they could do," Cassandra offered.  
"Do you think we should go there in forces?"  
"No, that would only put them on alert, but we should be prepared should the mages want to play dirty. We'll discuss this with the others back in Haven."

* * *

"You did well to accept, Herald. We need the help of the mages to close the breach; it's only logical to at least go to them and hear their demands. Hopefully they won't be unreasonable," the spymaster said. That would mark the first time the woman was approving of Evelyn.

Cullen shook his head. "As I've already said, the Templars are more than qualified to do the same task. If we could just try to reach out to them..."

"With the way they parted from Val Royeaux? They are hardly the best candidates to support our cause" the spymaster replied.

"Leliana has a point. Unless we have a way to make them change their minds, we might as well go to Redcliffe and see what the Grand Enchanter proposes," the Ambassador added.

"We should still find the Templars. Whether they are up to no good or simply reorganizing, we should make contact and find out what their plans are," Cassandra said.

"Sister Nightingale, I trust that your people are hard at work to find the Templars?" Evelyn asked.

"Of course, Herald. As soon as you sent word I had some agents on the task."

"I have also alerted some of my contacts. Should the Templars do something, we will know," Josephine said.

"Then there's no reason to discuss further, I think. The only choice at the moment is to meet with Fiona, and we already gave her our word." Evelyn didn't see why contacting the Templars instead could improve matters when the mages were readily available. There was a suspicion nagging at her mind for the peculiar way Fiona had acted, but maybe she was just being paranoid and the Grand Enchanter was a very cold person.

Commander Cullen grunted in agreement. "Fair enough. We shall see how that goes."

Evelyn left the war room with the others, glad that the discussion was over with since the advisors usually seemed to be inclined to long bickering sessions, much to her chagrin. Sometimes she found it hard to stay in the room when she had so little to offer to the discussion, knowing little of Fereldan or Orlesian politics. Leliana held her by the arm, making sure the others were out of earshot before talking.

"I have something to ask of you. I tried asking the others, but they dismissed my suspicions."

"Of course, sister. If it's something I can do, anyway."

"I heard voices that the Grey Wardens have disappeared from Thedas. We don't know where they went, but the timing is suspicious."

"That sounds strange, yes, but are you sure it's not something normal? The blight was ten years ago, after all."

"They are known to make themselves scarce between blights, but not to up and leave all together like this. With the strange timing, I want to find an explanation for this."

"What do you need me to do?"

"My agents spotted a Grey Warden, alone, in the Hinterlands. I ask you to find him and get information from him."

"Sounds easy enough. I'll find out what's happening."

On the way out she spotted one of the newly acquired members of the Inquisition, the Court Enchanter Vivienne de Fer. The other was a strange elf that seemed to have some problem with the other elves; she was so fearful of magic that Evelyn thought her extremely courageous for joining the inquisition despite that. Evelyn remembered the sumptuous soiree where she met the enchanter. It had been shocking to discover that in Orlais an Enchanter could be given such freedom that she could throw a party for nobles. The woman seemed very fond of the Game, and she suspected she was still playing it even as she pledged her help to the Inquisition. For what, Evelyn could not imagine. Did she figure she would gain prestige from helping the Inquisition, should they succeed? There were many uncertainties in that line of thought. 

"Herald of Andraste. I have heard you come from the Circle of Ostwick. Is that right?"

"Yes, I used to live there."

"Were you acquainted with Senior Enchanter Lydia? She was a friend of mine."

"Actually, she has been my mentor. A good person, I could almost consider her a mother. I am sorry to say she has been killed when the riots began in the Circle."

"Yes, I had heard that, and it's really unfortunate. One more reason to want for this war to stop."

"I agree, it is causing nothing but pain. Yet I do not believe things will return to normal if the circumstances do not change. Mages should not be oppressed anymore," Evelyn said, knowing that as a loyalist the former Grand Enchanter would object. She still wondered why Vivienne really had wanted to join, since the Inquisition at present did not have the support of the traditional forces of Thedas.

"I suppose you are of the opinion that Circles should be disbanded then? That is a dangerous proposition, my dear. We would all gain much simply by reforming them instead." The woman had a way of making her feel like a child being scolded, which was starting to grate on Evelyn's nerves. She did her best not to let her annoyance become evident, though; for some reason Vivienne made her uneasy, like having to deal with a snake. It was unfair of her to think that, but she just couldn't shake the sensation that she had to be careful around the woman, though that didn't mean she had to show agreement when there was none.

"You would perpetrate the system that caused the rebellion in the first place? Maybe better solutions exist, and have not been found yet."

"You are in the right position then, for mages and templars will soon turn to the Inquisition for guidance. They believe you to be chosen by Andraste, and with this authority, your decisions could shape the future of Thedas."

And here it was, her angle. Or at least a possible one. Of course an ambitious person such as Vivienne seemed to be would want to gain influence. "If so, it will be a responsibility the Inquisition will not take lightly. The Inquisition is lucky to be gathering people from all calling to join the cause; our chances of making the right choices will certainly improve with the combined knowledge we will come to possess."

"I am glad you realized the opportunity you are being offered. But I have taken enough of your time, my dear. I will let you work."

* * *

The meeting in Redcliffe didn't go as expected. As soon as Fiona showed signs of not recognizing her, Evelyn realized there had to be magic in play, and it was the devious kind. But a Tevinter magister in the middle of Ferelden? That was beyond her expectations. The man seemingly now owned the whole rebellion, something that puzzled Evelyn to no end. How could they sell themselves out to the worst possible bidder? It made no sense at all. Even she, who didn't take any part in the politics of the Circles, would never take such a decision. What could have pushed hundreds of able mages to such a decision? Maybe she would find out, she figured after reading the strange message given to her by the son of the Magister. "It says, 'you are in danger. Meet you in the chantry'. I think we should go and find out why," Evelyn said to the others still reunited in the tavern.

"We should be ready for a trap, Herald" the newly acquired member of the Inquisition said. "I don't like this situation one bit." The Grey Warden had wanted to come with them, though he did not have the information Leliana was after. With the towering qunari mercenary that had also been hired with his company, the traveling group was one of the oddest things in Thedas. Now they only only lacked a Tevinter magister and a werewolf.

"We'll be careful", she replied, inclined to take his suggestion if nothing else because of the experience he seemed to have. Of course, the whole situation reeked danger, and it would have been foolish not to expect something. The tavern was slowly repopulating after Alexius left. A woman passed by Evelyn and stopped, looking at her accusingly. "I know you. You were from Ostwick Circle, weren't you?"  
"Yes, how did you... wait, you were from Ostwick? Are there others here?"

The woman scoffed. "I was a few years behind you. Of course you wouldn't remember me. I was one of the lowly ones, never to cross paths with you higher ups. Well, I don't believe your Inquisition. You should take your people and leave, we mages have been oppressed enough."

Evelyn couldn't believe her ears. Since when had she been one of the higher ups in her Circle? That was nonsense. "I'm sorry I don't remember you, but I'm quite sure it's not for the reason you think. Maybe you were in another wing and...."

"Yet I remember you. Trevelyan, the one from the most influential family of Ostwick, always getting the better stuff while we commoners had to fight for scraps. I know your kind. Always the first to make it to Enchanter, the ones with better prospects to make it to Senior Enchanter. Bah. It's a good thing I didn't give a rat's ass about titles, but I did want the better clothes and stuff. Nevermind. Just wanted to let you know, your Inquisition can all drop dead for all we care."

Evelyn was nonplussed. There was so much she wanted to ask, but the woman simply left and they had more pressing things to do. And she still had no news about her former companions, though if this one had made it there, maybe others had as well.

"Are you all right?" Varric had seemingly materialized in front of her. She needed to drop the subject for now and continue with their mission. 

"I'm fine, I think. We should get to that chantry." They walked through most of the village, which was teeming with desperate people lamenting losses of all kinds. Evelyn noticed the presence of chantry sisters was very limited there. The chantry's door was closed and no one was about. That stroke the mage as even more odd; in such a situation she expected the building to be a sanctuary for refugees, but here it stood as if abandoned.

"I'll..." Cassandra was interrupted by Iron Bull, who stepped ahead of everyone. "I'll go in first," he said, "after all, I'm the Herald's bodyguard". He opened the door to Redcliffe's chantry, but Evelyn didn't miss the vitriolic look Cassandra gave him. Since the first time they met the captain of the Chargers, the seeker seemed to have taken a dislike for the qunari, especially when he wanted to fulfill his self-appointed task of protecting the Herald. Evelyn chalked it up to the seeker's pride. Maybe the woman didn't like someone else taking the role she had covered since everything began, though Evelyn would have thought she'd appreciate having someone else shielding her from danger. Cassandra and the Warden followed Iron Bull inside; the others, all distance fighters, stood behind, but the scene revealed to them was unexpected.

"About time you showed up. I could use the help", a mage in Tevinter garb said. He sounded casual, but he was fighting demons that were coming out of a rift right in the middle of the chantry. Evelyn and the others joined the battle, noticing this rift was giving strange time distortions much like the one they had found before entering the village. When she inadvertently stepped in a distorted area she could see everyone around her moving at seemingly impossible speeds. She summoned her magic to hit a vicious Terror that was likely in the same slowed region as herself, and for the first time she could witness her magic in a detail she had never thought possible. Tiny droplets of water gathered together in front of her staff, coalescing in larger freezing agglomerates that then left the staff and travelled to the demon, spreading then to envelop it in an icy layer that took hold over its body. Her fascination stopped when she noticed a shade moving at an uncanny speed towards her, and she realized it was not under the influence of the time distortion. She moved backwards to try and leave the field, meanwhile casting a fireball to try and slow it down. By the time the spell traveled a few steps the demon was too close to her for comfort, but inside the distortion field it was successfully hit and Evelyn could breathe again, now clear of the area. Sera was right behind her unleashing her arrows on the demon and neutralizing it, then doing the same to the terror. The situation seemed pretty much under control, so she went to close the rift while she could and as she did it she noticed the curious stare of the tevinter man.

"Fascinating. How does it work? You don't even know, do you?" he laughed. "You just wave your hand and poof - rift closed."

Evelyn smirked. The man was quite insolent for a foreigner in a compromising situation, but he seemed to be in good humor. "Pretty much, yeah. I still haven't figured out how that works".

"It seems something worth investigating indeed. But allow me to introduce myself. Dorian of house Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?" he said, concluding with a small bow.

"So it was you who sent that message? I thought I would find Felix here."

"Yes, I sent the message. Felix should join us soon, don't worry."

"So what's this about? You are Tevinter, right? Why warn us?"

"Something very dangerous is going on. Alexius was my mentor, once, and before you ask - no, I'm not a member of the Magisterium. Alexius has developed some kind of time magic - as you could see earlier. The rift, I mean. Did you notice?"

"It sped some things up, slowed others. Yes, it was peculiar, but... how could it be? Nobody is ever been successful with time magic", Evelyn objected.

"Not until now. I know Alexius has been working on it for years, I was his apprentice when he started."

"This is crazy! Time magic could be very dangerous. Why is he dabbling with it?"

"And that's why we are here. I am worried. These time shifting rifts are going to appear more and more frequently if Alexius is not stopped; this kind of magic is highly unstable. But it's not all. He used time magic to get here and gain the rebel mages for himself."

Of all the things she had heard, that one was amongst the most outrageous. Why would a random magister want to get the rebels from her grasp? "And how am I supposed to believe this? You must realize your claims are a little implausible."

"Indeed, if he speaks the truth, the situation is quite serious," Solas added.

"I know time magic exists; as I said, I helped him in the beginning. As for defying time to steal the mage rebellion from you, I don't understand why he would do it. Maybe you have a clue."

"They are after you, for a start", Felix said, appearing from behind a column.

"Felix! Is everything all right? Does he suspect anything?" Dorian asked.

"No, but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he'd fuss over me all day."

"Me?" Evelyn asked. "Why would they want me? And who is 'they'"?

"My father joined a cult of tevinter supremacists, Lady Trevelyan. They call themselves 'Venatori'. As for the why..."

"We have no idea. Maybe it's because of what you can do with the rifts? They might be jealous of that power", Dorian said.

"Possibly. All I know is that my father should be stopped. He is not himself anymore. If he and his cult are behind the breach or the rifts... they might be even worse than I thought."

"But... why are you going against your father? I don't understand. Could you not reason with him?"

"Believe me, I tried. You have the best chances to stop him."

"It would also be nice if he didn't rip a hole in time. There's already a huge hole in the sky. Look, you know you are headed for a trap. That is the first step to prevent it," Dorian said. "Alexius doesn't know I'm here and I'd like to keep it that way. But when you are ready to confront him, I'd like to be there."

"I'd appreciate your help, Dorian. Be safe," Evelyn said.

The tevinter left, leaving only the inquisition party in the chantry. 

"What do we do now? With this new development, it might be dangerous to take on Alexius alone," Evelyn asked the group. 

"We should attack right away. Alexius does not know we are aware of his plans, we could take him by surprise," Iron Bull proposed.

"We don't even know when he could decide to have another encounter. Attacking him head on seems foolish without enough information. I suggest we go back," Vivienne said. Evelyn looked expectantly at Cassandra.

"As much as it pains me to have to delay, that is our best option. The Arl of Redcliffe is not in position to help, so we need to coordinate with the others and have a plan of action, or we risk being wiped out." Cassandra said.

Evelyn could not object, though she didn't relish the idea of wasting more time in wait. "Let us move on then." As they left the village, she couldn't help but realize that she still had not seen trace of her former companions. Had the First Enchanter made it there? He was so old and frail that Evelyn doubted it. The only one she had seen so far was the bitter elf who had spoken to her in the tavern, and fate decreed that she was one of the few she could not recognize on sight. She hoped the inquisition could help free the mages, this time from their own foolishness.


	7. Chapter 7

Evelyn could feel herself falling, much like what happened the day of the explosion when the fade spit her out. Only this time she knew exactly what was happening and as soon as she touched the ground she looked around for Alexius and unleashed a powerful blast of force magic to send him flying. "You bloody bastard!" she shouted, her voice almost breaking due to the rage and fear she was feeling. As he landed, she walked up to him with long strides and drew the blade attachment of her staff above his neck. "You are not going to succeed with your plan. Say goodbye to your son, because now you stop playing god." She tuned out the voices of her companions, staring instead at the surprised Magister who didn't seem to be willing to react, looking at her in fear and resignation. She was breathing in great gulps, a part of her scared of what she was about to do, but on the other hand she knew it was the right thing if she wanted to make sure none of what she had witnessed would come true. She raised the blade with trembling hands and started the swinging motion to slice his neck, but someone behind her held her, crushing her against armor plate and immobilizing her arms.  
"Wait, Evelyn. You can't do this!" Cassandra shouted at her ear, making Evelyn's heart rate spike, but as much as she was pleased to hear that her companion was safe and sound, the mage was still pissed off because she was restraining her. She needed to put a stop to the crazy Magister's plan, and the Seeker's intervention didn't sit well with her.  
"What? Why? Do you even know what he was about to do? What he did?" She shouted. Her efforts to get Cassandra to release her grip proved fruitless. But did Alexius actually do those things she had seen? Or was he about to do them? It didn't make much sense, but somehow she knew that in a way that world she had come back from had been real. Just like her companion's deaths. The Seeker dragged her a few steps away from the Magister and turned her around, frowning in confusion. "What are you talking about? Do you know something we don't? He hasn't done anything unusual since we got here, besides that spell that made you disappear for a few seconds."

"He can't be allowed to live! He will ruin us all!" Evelyn shouted.

"Evelyn, calm down. You are not making any sense."

"What's going on?" Leliana intervened.

"The Herald is a bit out of it, I'm afraid," Cassandra said.

Evelyn, seeing the Nightingale alive and whole instead of the corpse-like features she had left behind, felt a wave of emotion hit her like a charging druffalo. She extended a hand to Leliana's face, as if to prove she was real and the horrible disfiguration the woman showed in the future never took place. Her tears started flowing freely, her nerves unable to hold anymore. "Thank the Maker", she whispered, having both the Seeker and the Left Hand in front of her, real and solid and alive. 

Leliana looked to Cassandra and shook her head. "Take her away. Something's happened for sure, but she seems to be in shock; give her some time before questioning her. We'll take Alexius as prisoner".

"No, he does not deserve it!" Evelyn protested, the information bringing her out of her memories. She tried to go back to the Magister, only to be stopped by both women.

"Don't worry, he won't be able to harm anyone anymore, Evelyn", Leliana tried to reassure her while Cassandra gently steered her away despite her protests. Leliana had the inquisition scouts secure Alexius under Felix's sad watch.

"No! Let me go! Dorian, say something!"

The mage looked at her apologetically and shook his head. "What she says is true, Nightingale. But I don't think he deserves to die. He was just... misguided. Please don't kill him, if nothing else for Felix."

"Bastard! You only say that because you were friends with him", Evelyn retorted, her resistance against the Seeker forgotten.

As Cassandra led her to the exit of the throne room, its massive gates opened, admitting an unexpected number of people, most of which heavily armed. At the forefront of the gathering moved two figures, man and woman, richly dressed. 

"The king of Ferelden!" Cassandra exclaimed close to Evelyn's ear. Of course they would be so fashionably late. Had they done their job earlier, none of this would have happened, and Evelyn could not help but feel some resentment towards them too.

The king looked around, singling out the person he was looking for, and his voice was not kind. "Grand Enchanter Fiona! We granted you and your rebel mages asylum here, but you took advantage of our hospitality. A Tevinter Magister allowed free reign in Ferelden! How could you?"

Fiona was contrite, already weary for the time spent in thrall of the Magister. "I am sorry, your Majesty. We truly had no idea it would come to this. We were afraid and..." She trailed off, her excuses feeble even in the ears of Evelyn who knew the truth behind them.

"No matter. I hereby order you to leave Ferelden, or you will be forced to go. I cannot allow our citizens to be put in danger again." The young king mellowed as if understanding the mages' plight. "I am sorry it has come to this, but I have to guarantee the safety of my people. Redcliffe suffered enough in the past decade."

"But... where will we go? We'll starve! There are families, they need protection...." Fiona's desperation hit Evelyn. It was a situation like that to bring them to this point, but now the Inquisition could at least prevent the story from being repeated, and gain the support they needed in the process. The mages would not be cast out as pariahs if she had a way to prevent it. 

"They will join the Inquisition. We need mages to close the breach, that's why we are here in the first place," Evelyn said, hoping it would pacify the king and give some peace to the Grand Enchanter. They couldn't afford to lose the rebels after what happened.

"You would? I suppose we have no choice then. I only hope it will not be like what Alexius intended for us."

"You will join as our allies. Just remember we helped you with this and don't do anything stupid from now on," she added with a tone of warning, aware that she was probably overstepping her boundaries, but counting on the others' sense of honor to keep the image of a united Inquisition anyway.

"As allies? After all they have done? They don't deserve this!" Cassandra hissed to Evelyn. She flinched, but the woman didn't openly contradict her. Leliana said nothing either, much to her surprise. Evelyn was glad that they were not going to undo her decision, at least for now.

Fiona was visibly relieved as she had predicted. "Very well, Inquisition. We will join you, and help you close the breach. We are grateful for the chance you are giving us."

"We thank you for taking this problem from us, Inquisition", King Alistair said to Evelyn. "We are sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances and we hope we'll be able to cooperate in the future. But for now I have to ask you to leave Redcliffe at once."

Evelyn straightened up and stepped forward, hoping that the king of Ferelden wouldn't notice that the Seeker had almost been holding her up. She steeled her nerves so that her voice maybe wouldn't shake too much - never had she been addressed by a king, let alone as the representative of a power such as the Inquisition. "Understood, Your Majesty. We will take our leave as soon as possible." She ended with a small curtsy.

"Come on, let us get you out of here," Cassandra said as the King's delegation began to retake possession of the castle.

* * *

Cassandra stoked the fire with a stick, her ears attuned to the sounds of the woods all around them. She had the second shift but had experienced no trouble waking up - in fact, she had barely slept at all. She couldn't stop thinking about the Herald's account of what happened while they were under the spell of the Magister. The thought of such a powerful foe that had yet to be seen was worrying her and she had taken to explore the possible ways they had to know who it was before he took further action. Of course, Leliana's people would be instrumental in that. She could only work closely with the herald as they uncovered leads, but other than that they had little to work on. At least since Evelyn had been forced to spare the Magister they could try to get more information out of him. The alliance with the mages on her part had disappointed her again, but she could hardly fault the woman for wanting to give the rebels the freedom she liked to preach about. Hopefully there would be no innocents to suffer the consequences. She had already made a round of the perimeter, checking that no intruders were around and that the Magister, in a tent of his own away from the others, was still being guarded by Inquisition soldiers. A cry pierced the quiet of the night, sending the Seeker's senses in full alert. It had seemed to come from the tents behind her; she stood, hand going to the hilt of her sword, and moved silently towards the source of the sound. It likely came from the Herald's tent. She crouched outside of the entrance, listening for more telling sounds, but so far she could not hear any. No movement was coming from the bushes nearby, where an enemy could have escaped to. She was ready to stand when the Herald appeared from the entrance; Evelyn shrieked and the next thing Cassandra knew she was landing on her back with a huff some feet behind where she had been crouching, her armor making her glide a few more paces over the grass. Maker preserve her, what had that been for? Then she remembered how Evelyn didn't like to be taken by surprise and groaned. She just hoped her landing had not awoken the whole camp.

"Cassandra!" the mage said, keeping her voice low as to avoid awaking the entire camp, then ran towards her.

The Seeker rolled to the side in order to sit up to accommodate for her armor, her aching back making her groan again. "Evelyn, how many times do I have to..." She looked up to the Herald only to find her dressed in a light tunic over her smalls, which did not do much to cover her shapely curves, especially from her viewpoint. Realizing she had been staring the Herald of Andraste in inappropriate places, she looked away.

"I am so sorry!" Evelyn replied, helping the warrior up. "You were shadowed by the fire and I could not recognize you. Are you hurt?"

"No. At least you did not fry me inside my armor," the Seeker replied.

"You were too close. I could not risk using lightning," the Herald said, turning her face from the Seeker. Was she blushing? Cassandra was glad that the mage's own embarrassment was likely the reason she had not been caught staring, but she wanted to make sure of what had caused the cry she had heard before.

"Why are you out here in the middle of the night? Are you still thinking of the Magister?"

Evelyn walked to the campfire. "I had a nightmare. I need some distraction before I attempt to sleep again." She sat on one of the stones placed in a circle around the fire from the evening before. Cassandra followed her with calm steps. "Do you want some tea? I made some when I began my shift; it should still be warm."

Evelyn nodded. "Thank you. Maybe it will help my nerves."

"Want to talk about it?" the Seeker asked as she poured the still fuming liquid. The vanilla aroma permeated the air around the kettle, pleasing Cassandra's senses. She wondered if the herald liked the scent, then was struck by the silliness of such a though in their circumstances. She handed the cup to Evelyn. "Careful, it's still hot."  
She sat on a stone next to Evelyn, observing how she stared at the fire and held the cup in still trembling hands.  
"It does not matter. It was just something that could have happened while I was... misplaced. I can't shake it out of my head."  
Cassandra frowned. Judging by the state she was in, it didn't seem not to matter. "Maybe talking about it could help." Where was Leliana when she needed her? She was not adept at talking with people in distress, though she did want to help Evelyn.  
"I don't think it would help you though. I already told you the gist of what happened when I was in the future."  
"You think it could be disturbing for me to hear what you witnessed? But you have to bear it alone?"   
Evelyn sighed, taking time before answering. "Look, I told you. I saw you all die, in a gruesome way. You, Leliana, Varric..."  
That explained the peculiar way she had acted when she came back, and maybe also the bear hug she had given Varric when they left the castle. As much as the dwarf grated on her nerves, he was good for Evelyn. She had not missed that the two had become fast friends.  
"I was reviving that scene in my dream. Only this time the demons got me too. I woke up after that."  
What could she say? She had not experienced it, so she could dismiss all as something akin to a hallucination, but she knew it was more than that. It was the future they all would face if the Inquisition failed. She felt the impulse to hold Evelyn, to do something to console her, but kept her limbs still for fear that the gesture would be unwelcome.  
"It must be hard, to see one's own death in a dream. It never occurred to me."  
"It is not simply that. Had I died, that world would now be a reality, not just some dream only I and Dorian recall. Trust me when I say it was horrible. Of course, had I died none of that would have mattered for me anymore, I suppose."  
"You didn't give us many details about that. What happened with me and the others?"  
"As I said, you, the Nightingale and Varric sacrificed your lives to give me and Dorian the chance to go back. I don't think you need to get more details than that. Some things are just better left unsaid, don't you agree?"  
The Seeker frowned. "In my experience, things left unsaid can get you killed."  
"I can understand that in some circumstances it can be true. In others, it's simply better to keep others from worrying unnecessarily. I do want to say something though, before I lose the nerve."

Cassandra was disappointed, but paid attention, curious as to what Evelyn wanted to say next.  
"I... thank you. You were very brave. I know it didn't happen... uh, in this time, but... knowing that you would... You were so selfless and heroic, it makes me proud to fight alongside you, no matter our differences."

The admission stunned Cassandra, but she had trouble in finding the praise deserved. Evelyn didn't seem to want to elaborate, so she stared at the fire, thinking about her words. "I understand that we fought, and we may have gone to our deaths." She looked at Evelyn to get the point across to her. "That is what we do everyday, Evelyn. It may be less glorious, or less risky, but it's what it is. You do it as well. I really don't see..."

"I know, but the circumstance is different. It was so hopeless, so bleak..." Her expression looked lost staring at the fire again. Was she reliving the scene? She probably should have not insisted that she talk about it."Nevermind. I just wanted to tell you that. I should tell sister nightingale as well. I have a new level or respect for her; though she does not even like me, now I know that her position is well deserved."

The mage appeared so shaken that Cassandra could not hold back anymore and with hesitant movements encircled her shoulders in reassurance, or at least she hoped to have that effect. Despite her misgivings, what the mage had accomplished that day had been remarkable and the woman didn't deserve to bear all the gravity of the events alone. Evelyn closed her eyes and leaned with her body on Cassandra's shoulder, sighing. That went better than she had expected, but the sudden contact was surprising considering their rather cold relationship lately. She held the Herald, liking the way she fit between her arms, thankful that her armor did not allow her body to enjoy the contact with the scantly clad Herald in full. Again her mind wandered in inappropriate territory for someone who just wanted to give some human comfort. She invited her mind to get out of the gutter and tried to continue the conversation.

"She is the most dependable person I know. You never have to fear that she might not be up to a task. It is not that she does not like you, but certain events have made it hard for her to trust. Do not take it personally." After a few moments of peace that made her too comfortable with the Herald's closeness, she gently disentangled herself from the mage and got up, offering her a hand. "What about a tour of the perimeter? We should get your mind off these things and then you need to get some more rest."

Evelyn seemed to snap out of a reverie, but she accepted the hand and fell into step with the Seeker. They walked in silence for a while, but Evelyn was not done talking.

"Why did you stop me? You must have realized that killing Alexius was the right choice."

Cassandra stopped and looked at her. Evelyn needed to know, but she was not willing to share the details of how she had learned such a lesson, fearing that it would shock the mage and make her think less of her. "I probably would have done the same in your circumstance," she replied, resuming the walk. Evelyn followed after a second. "So?"

"It would still have been wrong. Killing the man in cold blood like you were about to do... It is not something to take lightly." She had killed in revenge, and the guilt and shame had haunted her for a long time. "You are kind hearted, and I feared what would happen to you if you had to live with the consequences."

"But he had been attacking us. And do you really think I could have some crisis of conscience for the likes of him?"

"I do not know. Do you?"

"Well, I..." Evelyn didn't complete the sentence, as Cassandra had suspected.

"You see, you were about to kill a man because of things he could have done. But even without that, the point is, do you really want to be that kind of person, Evelyn? There are some things you cannot undo. Killing is something we should do out of necessity, not because we can. But of course, after all, the choice is yours."

Evelyn fell silent. "I did have some misgivings about killing him, I'll admit it. I know he had been protecting his son in his mind, but what if he can't be redeemed? Should we keep him caged forever? How is that any better?"

Cassandra looked at the mage with respect. She was starting to think like she should, taking more responsibility by the day. She was proud of what she was becoming. She could only hope her intent would not be darkened by her experiences.

"We will consider that in due time. For now he can still be of use to us. Leliana proposes using him for research, after we have milked all the information about the Venatori from him. We'll decide about his punishment at a later date."

"Research, uh? It could be useful, though I still think it's too generous for him. I hope at least you'll keep him under watch at all times while he's imprisoned."

"Of course he will be. We'll keep him in the chantry's cellars, where he'll have little chance to do any damage."

Cassandra was careful to avoid stepping right in front of the tent where the prisoner was being held, but she had checked that the guards were still present. All seemed unmoving around them, nightlife notwithstanding; the Venatori didn't seem too interested in recovering their Magister. The walk ended back in front of Evelyn's tent. "Will you be able to sleep?"

"I think so. Good night, Cassandra." the mage said before turning in, but she hesitated. "Thank you" she added before crawling back into her tent.

* * *

 

Josephine looked at her scrolls, considering how much more work she would have to do for the day. It would likely require her to finish the day after, for it was already getting late and her bones were starting going numb for the cold and humidity of the place. Just a few more proposals and she would go, she promised herself; she hated having to leave work unfinished, though it was becoming harder by the day with the amount of inquiries and offers of cooperation increasing steadily. She picked up the next scroll, examined it, then rolled it back, opting for another. She stared at it for a few seconds, then let it go so it rolled back up by itself. She passed her hands over her eyes. 'Focus, Josephine'. She would not go to her room so early, knowing she would just sit there and keep worrying, though it was already dark outside. The news she had received from the scouts had put her mind in turmoil. She knew the Inquisition members were coming back unharmed, but there was someone really dangerous out there, and they still didn't know much about him besides his ominous title. The report had mentioned that this mysterious enemy would torture Leliana for information if given the chance, and the thought had made her restless since she had received the news the day before. Her old friend had changed much since they spent time together in Val Royeaux, but she was still a wonderful person and Josephine couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her. She knew she could handle herself, having fought alongside the hero of Ferelden, but the enemy they faced was still faceless and had unknown resources, though it was not hard to guess that Tevinter mages and soldiers were part of his cult. She recalled the solar young woman she used to hang out with. Her brightness had dimmed since then, but she could still get glimpses of it when they chatted alone in the wee hours before turning in for the night; when at work she was so focused and ruthless she found it hard to reconcile her two sides. The past few weeks without her familiar presence, and the presence of most of Haven's forces, made the cold days of autumn more miserable. She took back one of the scrolls, determined to at least get started on what it required. Most of the people reaching out were nobles advancing outrageous requests that would gain the Inquisition small support, or requests for favors that she would have to call in from someone else and had to be carefully exchanged. She sighed, a look at her almost exhausted candle confirming that it was too late to hope for a return of the Inquisition's forces before the morrow, though not too late to make her want to turn in. Minaeve had already left and she was seemingly alone in the chantry, for she could hear no sounds at all from outside her door. She started a polite formulation of refusal to Lord X request, losing herself in the act with practiced ease, so concentrated that she missed the closing of the chantry's door and was startled by someone's entrance into her office.

"Leliana!" Josephine got up from her desk and walked up to her friend without waiting for her to cross the room. The redhead seemed surprised at the warm greeting, but didn't complain about the tight embrace, instead responding in kind after a pause. "I'm so glad you are back!"

Leliana gave her an amused smile. "I'm glad to see you too, but what is it Josie? I haven't been gone for that long."

"I know, it's not that", Josephine said, breaking the embrace but still holding her friend by the shoulders. "I read the notes you sent with the crows. I cannot believe those things could really have happened!"

"I knew I shouldn't have sent those notes, but Cullen wanted to warn the soldiers to stay on guard." The redhead sighed. "You should not think about all that. Those things didn't happen, and we must be grateful for the Herald's resourcefulness and the help of that tevinter mage."

"And I will make sure to thank them as well." Josephine released Leliana, instead taking to pacing the room, the nervous feeling of the past days coming back to her. "While you were away I couldn't help but worry about you all, and to read something shocking as that... I couldn't wait for you to return."

"You shouldn't take the habit of worrying so much, Josephine. It's not healthy, and now that we have something more to identify our enemy, it just doesn't seem like a good idea. We need you well rested. We don't know what lies in wait for us."

"I am sorry. I am not used to seeing my friends go and risk their lives. I suppose I'll have to get used to it. It is not easy to stay here while everyone else has more active tasks."

"It will take some time, but you'll make it. And don't worry, I won't go on away missions if I can help it; I can't work on my network that way. So you won't be the only one to stay here while the others go risk their lives around Thedas."

Josephine realized she was being silly. Her friend was doing her best to cheer her up, and she appreciated it, but she suspected that had she been someone less close to the spymaster, she would already have received a reprimand. She had to try and be stronger for Leliana, for everyone else. She just didn't know how. It had always been her nature to worry about everything, and it was one of the traits that allowed her to get the best results.

"Good, so I won't pester your scouts to get news about you every chance I get," she said half jokingly. In truth she had done exactly that, and she wondered if said scouts were going to avoid her in the future. She'd not admit to having been a little obsessive, but it had been the first time she had been left with none of the inquisition's command and as the days passed with no news, though it had been expected, she had gotten more and more uneasy. "Anyway, why are you here? I would think you would have gotten straight to your cabin after the long journey?"

If she had not known better, she would have thought Leliana had seemed at loss for words for a second. "Oh, I just... suspected that you would still be working. I wanted to give you the news of our return so you would stop worrying." She grinned, knowing so well Josephine's nature. The ambassador remembered a time long ago, when Leliana had told her that a good bard should not give herself to worrying too much. Caution was a good thing, but losing control over it was one's undoing. It should have been a sign that she was not cut for that kind of job, and she was glad she had stopped when she had. She still didn't understand how Leliana had lived so long in that line of work and survived, though she knew that she had been betrayed and suffered for it. She wished her friend would confide with her about those part of her past that she seemed to want to shield her from.

"Well, I should thank you then. You could have sent a message though, I cannot begin to think how tired you must be."

"A little, yes," she yawned. "I am getting too used to the comfortable life up here, I'm afraid."

Josephine scoffed. "Comfortable? You must know some part of Haven of which I do not know."

"Don't tell me you still are not used to the simple life?" Leliana feigned surprise, but her smirk made it clear that she was still mocking her for that. What could she say, she had not known such conditions in her life - not for such a long time anyway - though she realized she could come across as snotty because of that. "The day I get used to it, I will let you know."

"Are you done here? I think I'll freshen up a bit and go to sleep. We'll have our hands full starting tomorrow."

"I suspected that." She was already started to envision the logistical horror of accommodating a few hundred mages, not to mention having to keep the peace with the villagers, hear the backlash of the Chantry and secure a line of supply for lyrium. In addition to the diplomatic traffic that was already piling up, of course.

"I will go shortly. Let me just put my things away."

* * *

As Evelyn entered the chantry in Haven, she was greeted by the warm smile of Josephine, who came to her with a ready embrace. "Herald, welcome back. I read the reports from Leliana and I couldn't help but worry about you all. Are you all right?"

"Of course, Josephine. We are all fine," Evelyn smiled back. Josephine took her by the arm like they were old friends and walked with her to the war room. She had missed the easy companionship of the ambassador. It seemed she was in good spirits despite what had transpired in Redcliffe.

"I hope you'll tell me more about what happened. What I read made it sound like you experienced events in the future? A demon army?"

"Ah, yes, sort of. I have seen what could have happened if we had failed that day. Unfortunately I cannot tell how those plans would have been set in motion, or if it's still possible for them to happen."

Josephine looked worried. "Maker, I hope we'll find out soon about who's behind all this."

"We'll talk about all that momentarily, Josephine. Come, let us go, or Cullen will get impatient."

He had been, in fact, waiting for them, pacing like a caged beast. Cassandra and Leliana were already there as well. The familiar sight of the highest members of the Inquisition along with her experience with the Magister made her realize that she had grown fond of these people, much to her initial disbelief. Well, fond of most of them anyway. 

"Herald." Cullen greeted her with a cold tone of voice, stopping his pacing, his frown signaling that he was not happy with her. Evelyn braced herself for the inevitable complaint. "I really don't understand what happened. The mages didn't deserve to be taken as allies! And now we'll have to watch them for abominations as well, maybe train some soldiers as Templars..."

"What? No!" Evelyn shouted. "I can't believe you are suggesting this. We agreed to ask the mages for help, and now you make it sound like I did everything by myself?" The last thing she wanted was to make them feel like they had not left the Circle at all. Training Templars? They would be good against tevinter mages that would surely be in the venatori's ranks, but she didn't want them anywhere near the former rebels.

"The Herald is right. We needed the mages and now we have them. We should look at the next thing to do instead," Leliana said surprising Evelyn.

"And no Templars. We will take care of ourselves. We know about abominations and demons, we will look after each other," Evelyn insisted.

"Yeah, because that always turned out well in the Circles..." Cullen replied. "We need precautions, if nothing else to protect the civilians here."

"The Herald is right. We got the mages, now our priority is to organize them and prepare them for the breach", Cassandra said.

Evelyn couldn't believe her ears. Was the Seeker trying to mess with her mind? She distinctly recalled her reaction back in Redcliffe. "So now you agree with me? Then why did you give me such grief over my decision when I spoke to King Alistair?"

Cassandra looked at her with calm detachment as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I may not agree with them being allies - I have already told you that, and I have not changed my mind. But you secured their help, and that is what matters. I don't see what is so strange about this."

The Seeker was nothing if not practical, and Evelyn could only appreciate that, though she didn't really understand the attitude. "Very well, then..."

"We will need to secure lyrium, and give them lodgings and food," Josephine said, taking notes on her peculiar clipboard.

"There's also the matter of this "elder one". Herald, are you sure you didn't get a glimpse of him?" Leliana asked.

"I'm sorry, but I never saw him. Considering the Magister was in great fear of him, I am quite sure it could be a powerful mage. I only know that Alexius meant to erase me from existence with that spell, but what I learned while in the future is that the Venatori would march on Orlais with an army of demons."

Leliana looked grimly at the map spread on the table. "An army of demons. We must find out how they plan to do that. The civil war in Orlais would definitely weaken the resistance should the attack be launched. We must be vigilant for any sign of such an attempt."

"I'll alert my contacts." Josephine said, scribbling one more note. "But I don't hold much hope. We have too little information. The enemies could be anywhere considering the disorders in Thedas."

"We must do what we can while we gather information."

Josephine put a hand on her forehead, shaking her head. "This is so troubling! We cannot let this elder one gain advantage. And this cult... we must find out about them," she continued to jot down more notes.

"We'll get to the bottom of this, but for now we have at least the advantage of knowing what their plans are," Leliana tried to reassure her.

"We should get to work. Herald, you should prepare yourself. We are not sure what might happen when we try to close the rift in the temple," Cullen said.

As everyone left, Cassandra made Evelyn stop. "Just a word, Herald. I noticed you talked about 'us' referring to the mages. You need to realize you are not back in a Circle. You are not one of them. You are a member of the Inquisition now, and we are your people," Cassandra said.

Evelyn swallowed. She had not realized her choice of words earlier, and indeed she had been considering herself part of the group of mages. That was after all the most natural thing for her, despite the growing familiarity with the inquisition members. Had things changed so much that now her people were not the mages anymore? The warm eyes of the Seeker locked onto hers and she knew that yes, it was here she wanted to belong. 

"Of course, Seeker. I'll keep that in mind." 

Back out of the room, Evelyn heard the Grand Enchanter Vivienne call her. She approached the woman, who as always looked perfectly groomed and gave her a condescending look, which was probably her normal look anyway.  
"I have heard of your success in securing the help of the rebel mages, my dear. You did well."

"Uhm... Thank you, Lady Vivienne."

"I hope you are now prepared to deal with abominations in their ranks as well. You are going to have your hands full, considering how thin the veil is around here."

Of course there had to be a little jibe in her conversation. Evelyn couldn't believe a mage could be so jaded towards her fellows, but evidently she didn't know the world well. 

"Fiona's people are not stupid, Lady Vivienne. They will take care of themselves."

"I am sure. But there is a reason why sometimes the rite of Annulment is invoked, my dear, and it is not to please the Templars. You must realize that magic is dangerous, even when who carries it thinks to be safe."

"We will take the necessary precautions, I assure you. Now, If you'll excuse me..." She couldn't bring herself to stay in the presence of this woman any longer. She turned and started walking away, rude or not.

"Just one thing. What do you think of the Circles?"

Evelyn stopped and turned back to the woman. "I think the Circles are a mistake. The mages should be able to regulate themselves."

The woman smirked, an expression as pitying as it was malicious. "I thought as much. Think well about what you do, my dear. Your desire for freedom and equality might crash violently with reality some day, and you'd realize that justice does not mean that everyone gets to be happy."

Evelyn nodded, her jaw locked tight, and left. She knew the woman was a loyalist, but really didn't understand how someone could look at her own people and wish for their confinement. Was it really up to herself to find another solution? Nobody else seemed to share her ideas. Nobody but the Nightingale, she was starting to suspect. The woman had made it clear that she thought the mages should be free, and that had warmed her heart, though it was ironic that the sentiment came from the person that probably liked her less in the Inquisition. Well, after today that person was likely Cullen, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to BloodRose for reviewing this, and as always thanks for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating changed for future chapters.

It was interesting to watch the Bull's Chargers spar, a refreshing change from Cullen's recruits. Iron Bull's people had a great deal more knowledge of each other and could use it to work on their blind spots, which they knew by having fought together for a long time. The resulting fights were so intense that on occasion Evelyn worried that they would end up killing each other. Iron Bull himself had a strong rapport with his people; the sense of camaraderie was something she herself was only just discovering with her own companions. There was a lot to learn from watching them, though maybe Cullen would benefit from that the most.

"How are the preparations going, Herald?"

"I think we are a few days from being ready. The lyrium shipment is due to arrive any day, but we can't do much before that I'm afraid."

"Great. My guys and I are always ready, Herald. Just say the word if you need some heads bashed in."

Evelyn smiled. "I will let you know, but I suspect head bashing will have to wait until we find trace of our enemy."

"Ah, waiting. I prefer to avoid that."

"You'll just have to hold out a little longer. I'm sure there will be plenty of Tevinter heads to bash soon."

"I can hope." He looked in the distance where Cullen was barking at his new batch of recruits. "That commander you've got, he seems to be preparing your people well."

"Who, Cullen? I suppose. I'm not an expert on the subject. Were you thinking of giving them some pointers?"

"Nah, he's doing a good job. I'm more of a small team guy, I lead best when I know what my people drink and who they do."

"You seem to lead them well", Evelyn said glancing at Cremisius who was facing off a dwarf. "They must be very loyal."

Iron Bull smiled. "They are a good team. Work well together, get shit done. I couldn't ask for anyone better. Speaking of which, your Inquisition is growing fast, but you need a leader."

"A leader? Well, we may not have an official one, but Cassandra and Leliana are basically leading." She threw a glance to where Cassandra used to practice, and sure enough, there she was staring at her and Iron Bull. Was she keeping an eye on her? Maybe they still didn't consider her trustworthy enough, or Cassandra still had a bone with her. She directed a frown at the Seeker and she stopped, realizing she had been spotted. 

"Yeah, they are both good, but you need a real leader. Cassandra is more like a hound, too focused on investigation to see the big picture. Nightingale deals in secrets and does her best from the shadows. No, you need someone who can inspire and take the hard decisions. Once you have that someone, the Inquisition will become a force to be reckoned with."

"You may be right. It's not my call, however, so we'll see how that turns out."

"We don't make no armor for bloody Tevinters here", the blacksmith shouted from the nearby armory. Bull and Evelyn turned to see what the fuss was about, finding the mage Dorian discussing with Harritt. 

"Poor bastard is being denied service?" Iron Bull laughed. "I have no love for his kind, but at least he's helping us. Got to acknowledge that."

"Yes, and I think I better set Harritt straight. I don't want my companions to be bullied, no matter where they come from. I'll see you later, Bull."

"Herald," he saluted her raising his half empty tankard.

Evelyn walked to the smithy a few steps ahead. Dorian was still in front of Harritt, arms crossed, while the older man argued with him. "What is going on here?" Evelyn asked to both.

"This Tevinter came here pretending to find armor for him. I suggested he gets it elsewhere. We don't serve no Tevinter scum."

"Harritt, you do realize this man has pretty much saved us all a few days ago, do you?" Evelyn had a feeling this would have happened sooner or later when she recruited Dorian.

"He what?" 

"I did help your Inquisition with a particularly nasty situation in Redcliffe, old man. Surely you wouldn't refuse equipment to an ally, would you? I have the coin, after all." He turned to Evelyn. "It's what I was trying to tell him all along, but I suppose all he sees looking at me is a filthy Tevinter Magister come to turn everyone into slaves."

"He is officially an ally, Harritt. Please try to make him feel welcome."

Harritt grunted. "I suppose, if he's proved useful... Just keep him on a leash, will you? Can never trust these Tevinter... "

"Scum, I got the gist of it," Dorian finished amused. "Look, I just need replacement greaves. If you have them, I'll pay you and be out of the way."

"We don't have any ready ones. If you are willing to wait, in a couple of days we can make you a new set in snoufleur skin. Otherwise we could make them in nugskin real quick."

"I can wait a couple of days. Provided this Elder One does not come knocking earlier. Thanks."

"Your suit is ready, Herald. I'll take it to your cabin; you don't have to carry the stuff by yourself. I bet you have better things to do," Harritt said to Evelyn.

"Thanks. I'm glad everything is sorted out."

Evelyn walked back to the village with Dorian, the incident still on her mind. Just a few weeks before she would have never thought a Tevinter mage would take his place with the Inquisition. She needed to make sure incident like the one just solved would not repeat.

"Thank you for the help, Herald. I was about to resign myself to have to wear my old greaves. They got ruined during our trip back and I couldn't stand to walk around with those ugly things any longer."

"My pleasure. I couldn't believe the smith was refusing to serve an ally, but I guess the fear of Tevinter is deeply rooted. Not that it's not warranted, considering our current enemy."

"I know, we are the people peasants talk about to scare their children into eating their vegetables." He turned to face Evelyn with a serious expression. "I know it's hard to believe, but... my people are not all like that. I want to make things right for once, at the cost of looking like a fool in the eyes of my countrymen."

"Well, you and Felix are proof enough for me that not all Tevinter citizens are power crazed blood mages. For everyone else... you'll have to endure, I suppose. I'll do what I can to ensure you are not mistreated."

"You are too kind, but I'm sure you'll have your hands full doing more serious stuff. Besides, that lovely Ambassador with disputable sense of fashion offered to take care of the matter as well."

"I'm sure Josephine will be more convincing than I could be. You'll be fine."

They strolled into the village, observing the workers move timber and tools to build shelters for the mages that were arriving daily. 

"I was surprised when you offered the rebels an alliance instead of keeping them subordinate. I would have thought your friends would have objected."

"Some have made their displeasure known, actually, but not enough to undo the alliance. I felt the mages would feel better if they thought themselves free and I'm sure the others can at least agree with that. You think that is not the case?"

"It's a good thing, of course. At least for them. But do you not fear setting a precedent?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just look at my country. Little by little, the mages gained more freedom, and here we are. In the beginning we had Circles, much like the ones you have... or should I say, used to have?"

"Oh. I... didn't consider that." She had enough nightmares to deal with, but this new information risked giving her a headache. "Wait, you disapprove? I don't think this small act of mercy could have such far-fetched consequences."

"Maybe not. I can't say I disapprove, though I couldn't help but draw parallels. I understand you are against the Circles, but you also should keep my country's history as a cautionary tale."

More warnings about removing the Circles, and again from an unconventional source. Evelyn was starting to feel uneasy about the whole thing, but she still wanted to see how things went, and she was sure it would not be all doom as people believed. She prayed she would be proven right.

* * *

Evelyn took a deep breath. Countless mages were circling the inner walls of the temple around the huge rift, their mana swirling around them giving the environment an eerie bluish light that contrasted with the glow of the red lyrium growths on the ground. Cullen's men were interspersed between them, eyes alert and hands ready to get to their swords, their tension palpable. Evelyn walked down the path leading to the rift with Cassandra and the other companions, in case something else managed to get out of the fade while she attempted to close it. She remembered the impressive pride demon from the last time she had been there and wondered what would happen this time. Would they succeed? Would she be able to handle all the energy the other mages sent to her? She had never taken part in such an experiment, but she was sure in Tevinter such a practice was common. She glanced at Dorian, who gave her a confident grin. 

"You'll see, it's not different from gathering mana from a single mage or two. You can handle it."

"I hope so." 

They had performed small practice runs, but never with the full strength of the mages group to avoid using too much of their lyrium reserves. She had talked with Solas and the more experienced mages, but she was still uneasy at the thought of having to handle such an incredible power. She looked up at the rift and the army of mages ready to work at her command, her limbs shivering in tension. Once in front of the rift, everyone spread out and she stood ahead of them. The rift was high overhead and once again she wondered how someone could open it without the help of as many people as they had gathered to close it. Figuring that would be their next task, she supposed. For now she would concentrate on closing the damn thing.

Solas turned to the expectant mages and shouted to be heard from all of them, in a display of command Evelyn would not have imagined before, his tone at once inspiring and reassuring. "Concentrate! Let Evelyn get all the power from you! Now!" As he said that, the mages as one kneeled and started willing their mana onto Evelyn who collected it, feeling charged with magic like never before. Despite the drunken feeling she soon started experiencing, she managed to keep her wits about her and focus on the only task she needed to perform with that power. She advanced with her hand raised, the mark flaring to life with the concentrated mana, the rift seemingly coming alive before she was even close to it. A green mist filled her view, forcing her to advance slowly, the power around her hand forming a resistance that she feared could make her lose control. Step by step she forced herself to continue and got right under the now pulsating rift. The mark did the rest for her, connecting to the portal, at first making the currents increasingly active then slowly shrinking it until a final blast sent her flying to the ground.

Did she make it? She was almost too afraid to open her eyes and spot an army of demons ready to tear her apart, but the cheers that erupted around her gave her reassurance. She opened her eyes and sat up, seeing her companions cheering and the rift not in sight anymore.

Cassandra appeared in her field of view, eyes fierce. She extended a hand to the mage, helping her up. "You did it!" she said, giving her an affectionate pat on the back, then made way among the celebrating soldiers to get themselves back out of the crater. The rift did not exist anymore, but the giant hole in the sky was still there, though compared to before it appeared to have stilled. Cassandra noticed her stopping. "I'm afraid to close that we'll have to get to the culprit."

Evelyn nodded and kept walking back out. She couldn't wait to be back in Haven. The whole area of the temple made her feel uneasy, a once sacred place now turned into a receptacle of evil.

* * *

Evelyn heard the people of the village that were celebrating in and around the tavern. She had been told they had started celebrating well before the expedition had come back, since the closing of the rift had been visible from the village. The mage did not feel like celebrating yet, as her mind was still worrying about the breach and the uncomfortable uncertainty she was having about the alliance with the mages. All she needed now was a few moments alone. She pushed the door to the Chantry, finding it silent and deserted, more peaceful than it had been during the day in the past weeks. With the war room and Josephine's office there, the place was always bustling with activity and did not grant the peace such a sacred place should afford. But now Evelyn was glad to have the place all to herself. She needed guidance, and nobody but Andraste could give her that at such a moment.

She kneeled on one of the pews in a side chapel and thought about her troubles. It was hard to put things into words, for she didn't really know what she was looking for. A reassurance that her decisions had not been wrong was all she could hope for, but Andraste's statue stood silent, her look of piety and anguish the same as always. 

Andraste would not talk to her, she knew that - she still had not reached such level of hubris to even think such a thing - but time alone in the chapel when she was in the Circle always comforted her and helped her clear her head. She prayed that she had not made the wrong choice back in Redcliffe; doubt had crept in her thoughts after her talks with Vivienne and Dorian and there was no sure way of knowing who would be right in the end. It was the only choice she had considered, yet the consequences such a small act could have according to them were greater than she wanted to acknowledge. But it was a small move in an enormous chessboard and maybe whatever she would have chosen was of no consequence. She still had trouble understanding how she had come to make the choice alone, and nobody had disputed it. Maybe the others too were afraid of what could happen? There was nothing she could do to change things now that the decision was made. To revoke the pact would be disastrous for morale, and she still believed it the right choice deep down. If Thedas became another Tevinter it would not be because of that, she tried to convince herself. Right now her worries should be aimed at the breach still lingering high in the sky and how it had not closed with the rift in the temple. The problem would likely be solved only once they found and defeated this Elder One, but she had the feeling that they were dealing with a very powerful mage - or worse, a group of them. The cult was spreading, according to Leliana's network, and rifts were still appearing all over Thedas. She prayed that the Inquisition would be able to deal with all that. She prayed that Andraste really was at her side, because she didn't know how she could cope with the enormous pressure otherwise. Her companions were more than capable and she was grateful that they were at her side. She knew now that the Inquisition could not make it without her, nor could she make it without them.

Steps resonated through the empty building, disrupting her contemplation.

"Herald? Why are you here all alone? The whole village is celebrating."

Evelyn stood. "I just needed some time alone, Cassandra. Why are not you with them?"

"I just... I feel uneasy. We had a major victory, thanks to you, but there is much to be done yet. I do not like to relax when there's still danger around us and we know only part of the enemy's plans."

"I can understand that. I was thinking about the same thing, actually."

"Oh, I'm sorry I interrupted. I shouldn't have. I should let you return to it."

"No, it's fine. I should probably eat something anyway" Evelyn replied leading the way out of the building.

"They are singing about you, you know? It would probably please them to see you acknowledge them. You are their hero."

"Me?" Evelyn laughed. "If I am, then the whole Inquisition is. I certainly couldn't have done it alone."

"A modest hero. That's something people like even more."

"Then they must like you very much as well."

Cassandra looked at Evelyn. "I am no hero. I just do what I must."

"Those who remember you saving Divine Beatrix would say otherwise," she replied with a smirk.

"That's..." Cassandra shook her head. "It was a long time ago. And I had a lot of help." Evelyn could swear the Seeker's cheeks had taken a bright red color, but it was hard to confirm the suspicion with the faint lights coming from the oil lamps spread out in the village. It was one of her most endearing traits, to be so easily flustered when she was one of the most capable and selfless people Evelyn had known.

The dim illumination and the cold temperatures were not deterring the villagers. Evelyn could hear music and singing coming from the tavern, an expression of merriment she had rarely witnessed before. Maybe she would partake in the celebrations, at least a little. She just didn't want to feel like a fraud if they believed her a hero when in fact she was not. Even the title of Herald that had stuck to her felt still too much.

"Do you always go to the chapel? I had never seen you pray there," Cassandra asked as they strolled to the village.

"I don't go often. Mostly I wait for it to be quiet, so I can think more clearly."

"Is something troubling you? Besides this unresolved breach that is."

Evelyn sighed. Cassandra was certainly not the first person in her mind to discuss the mages with, but she felt she had been too harsh to her especially in light of what happened in Redcliffe. Cassandra was nothing but trustworthy, if misguided by the traditional Chantry view of mages. Maybe she could make her see reason?

"I was wondering about our alliance with the former rebels. I hope I didn't make a mistake back in Redcliffe."

Cassandra looked at her nonplussed, so Evelyn quickly amended. "Don't get me wrong, I still think they deserve to be their own masters, but maybe it was not the right circumstance for that. But then again, maybe it was and we are avoiding another riot instead. It's just... hard to tell at this point."

Cassandra nodded. "I appreciate you telling me about this. I have no more clear answers than you do about this, but for what it's worth, I think you did a great thing with them, and I wish I could say that I have accomplished something like that. They trust you now, and they are not likely to start a protest. Of course, that won't stop them from being a pain. They are not used to be responsible for their own well being," Cassandra said, clearly referring to the accommodation problems the arrival of so many pampered mages had caused. Evelyn was surprised at the admission. 

"I am glad you see it that way." She paused, knowing that and apology was in order. "Look, about that discussion. I really should not have accused you. I don't know what you did, but if more people were like you maybe we wouldn't have had the rebellion in the first place."

"Now you are giving me too much credit. Things were impossible for any single person to handle. I know I have been too harsh with you about that. I just was... reminded of the reason why I left the order. I had seen that they were not following the Chantry's principles anymore, and wanted no part in their future plans. It is something that still pains me. The Seekers are all I have known for a long time."

Evelyn felt even more mortified by hearing that. How callous had she been? She was lucky Cassandra had not taken it worse. She looked at the Seeker's profile, now almost serene, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere in the village, and wished she could get closer to this magnificent woman. She came back to reality, reminding herself that the differences still existed. Could she have not been a mage like herself? Maybe they could get along more easily then. Or maybe not, considering how little in common she had with Vivienne. Cassandra stopped at the raised terrace overlooking the festivities; below, tables were out and people were dancing.

* * *

A horn blew from outside the walls, disrupting the peaceful atmosphere of the evening. Cassandra hurried to the palisade to take a look outside.

"What's going on?"

The Seeker unsheathed her sword. "We must get to the gates!" Evelyn followed, along with many people already gathering there. 

"There's an army marching on us", Cullen explained, his anxiety barely contained.

"Under what banner?" Josephine asked.

"None," Cullen replied.

"None? But..."

"We must get out there, prevent them from entering", Cullen said.

A loud knock to the gates startled everyone. What manner of enemy would ask permission to enter? 

"I can't come in if you don't open", a voice called.

Evelyn rushed to open the doors and was taken aback by the young boy with a large drooping hat that was standing there, in his hands long knives still dripping with the blood of a heavily armored soldier wearing colors she could not identify. "Come in, quick," Evelyn said gesturing for the boy to enter.

"Thank you," the boy said, almost breathless. "I am Cole. I came to warn you. You are being attacked... though you know that already." He looked at Evelyn as if he knew who she was, "the Templars are coming to kill you."

"The Templars? But why..."

"They have been corrupted by the Elder One," Cole explained with a calm so out of place that it gave Evelyn goosebumps. The boy pointed at the nearest peak in the mountains. Atop stood two figures, one of which was impossibly tall and looked grotesque, the other was a man wearing a Templar armor. 

"I know that man! He's Samson. I know him from back in Kirkwall. He's a vicious opponent. Be wary," Cullen warned, his jaw locking in tension.

"What could we do? Haven is not equipped to deal with a siege," Evelyn said. 

"We have the trebuchets. Put them to use, try to stop them from getting into the village."

They all grabbed the available weapons from the merchant's stall and ran out of the walls. Some of the enemies were already approaching and Evelyn's group worked fast to clear the area around the trebuchet in front of the village, giving the other soldiers the time to aim it. The Inquisition's allies split into two groups. Evelyn kept following Cassandra’s targets, forming a squad with Varric and Vivienne. She lost track of the others, who were defending the other side. The enemy had not only Templars at their disposal, but mages as well; their uncommon uniforms made her think they were actually the Venatori mixed with the Templars, but the tactics didn't change. She had to disable the mages first and keep the warriors from being overrun. Vivienne used her skills as Knight Enchanter to advance in melee range and take care of armored men in few swift moves and Evelyn couldn’t help but be impressed, not having witnessed that fighting style before. Maybe she could get the Grand Enchanter to teach her, provided they survived. Which was unlikely, as a quick glance at the valley confirmed; too many enemies were approaching and the likelihood of them withstanding such an attack was very low. Rather than think about their odds, she kept fighting knowing that if morale dropped they were as good as doomed anyway.  
After what seemed like an interminable time, the area was clear of enemies, the next group approaching still far. 

"We are ready! Go help the other position!" one of the soldiers calibrating the trebuchet said.

"Come on, let's get there," Cassandra shouted running in the direction of the next trebuchet. Evelyn was already getting tired and felt her mana starting to drain, but she ran with the others, determined to do her part until the end. Which was probably not very far.

The second trebuchet was almost overrun. Inquisition soldiers had to contend with a number of enemies and were about to get overwhelmed, but Evelyn and the others got quickly at work to even the odds. There were strange creatures who were spewing red crystals - red lyrium? - seemingly out of their very skin. It was horrifying, but luckily Evelyn didn't get too much time to think about it, fearing being flanked at any moment. Varric stayed behind her, controlling carefully who tried to get too close, and they worked as a well oiled team, giving support to the melee fighters while thinning the number of opponents. The enemy mages were thankfully not particularly threatening so handling them first was not a problem, unless they were guarded by the Templars advancing with tower shields. Though those shields repelled most frontal attacks, electricity helped her dispatch them anyways, as long as she was careful not to hit her friends as well. On a few occasions she had hit her companions, who thankfully still had a barrier that either she or one of the other mages in their team had cast. The soldiers who were manning the trebuchet finally announced that they were done and started launching flaming boulders to the enemies below, but still many were advancing, too close to be hit by the machines. Evelyn was starting to consider that they could make it when a cry erupted from the ranks of the Inquisition soldiers. She looked in the sky, spotting a few fireballs coming from above, hitting the trebuchet square and destroying it. For a few moments Evelyn was frozen on the spot, not understanding what could have caused the destruction of the machine, while everyone around her seemed in a frenzy.  
"Evelyn! It's a dragon! We must go" Cassandra shouted near her, grabbing her sleeve and pulling. A dragon? That couldn't be... But she looked up again and there it was, circling around the village like a bird of prey, its massive fireballs igniting the buildings. She managed to get out of the shock she was in and ran after the others, who were retreating to the village. Once close, they found Cullen right out of the doors, calling back everyone else. 

"Get in! The chantry is the only place that could resist against that thing!"

"We must get the villagers then!" Evelyn thought out loud. 

"Go! Get everyone in the chantry! At this point, it's just about how spiteful we make the end," Cullen added, sounding uncharacteristically defeated.

Some enemies had made it inside the village and were fighting to gain advantage; Evelin and the others helped the villagers fight back. The tavern was on fire, making it difficult to stay and fight, but a few inquisition soldiers were stuck fighting the enemies and could not be left there to die. Then horror filled Evelyn when she heard anguished cries from inside the tavern. There was someone still inside! She had to get to them, but in front of her was a wall people fighting with blades and maces. Deciding to try to use a fade step, a trick she had not yet mastered well, Evelyn concentrated, trying to forget for a moment the anxiety that was gripping her. She had barely enough free mana to cast the spell, but felt herself briefly touch the fade and come out some distance ahead. Without wasting any time, she approached the entrance to the tavern. The ceiling had almost completely collapsed, tables and chairs were burning. A quick cold spell helped her not feel the blistering heat while she looked around, and found the huddled shape of Flissa, the bartender. She had to avoid part of the beams fallen from the ceiling to get to her, but the woman was not moving anymore. A quick check at her pulse confirmed that she was already dead, crushed by the weight of the beam, or maybe the smoke had suffocated her. She felt herself unraveling, but fought the reaction, knowing there were others that likely needed saving. She went back out as fast as she could, resuming her role in the battle. More of those strange red lyrium horrifying creatures were present, and she directed her spells to them with all the fury she could muster. It was unthinkable that these abominations would be fighting alongside Templars, and she probably would not survive the night to find out what they were doing there. Lysette and a few others were safe, so they moved forward to see if there were more villagers to send to the chantry. They found the collapsed bodies of Minaeve and Adan in front of the burning remnants of the apothecary; Evelyn quickly went to the elf. "Help Adan", she shouted, knowing that a moment of hesitation could make them lose both. They had been struck by a dragon blast and were partially blistering; Evelyn didn't have enough energy to use a healing spell so she uncorked one of the elfroot potions she always kept with her and spread it on the wounds as gently as she could.

"Thank you," Minaeve murmured. Evelyn helped her up, checking that she could walk. Adan, however, was still unmoving. Solas stood and just shook his head slowly, his sad expression signaling that he didn't make it. "Let us help her to the chantry", Evelyn suggested. The woman was kept in the middle of the group, closed at the rear by Iron Bull and led by Cassandra and Blackwall. They managed to reach the chantry at last, but there were more villagers to help there. Some soldiers opened the door, helping then Minaeve to enter. Evelyn followed the warriors to help Threnn and the other soldiers still dealing with Venatori intruders. Once done they too sought the safety of the chantry, but it was now a matter of time before the elder one got the better of them.

* * *

Shortly after they entered, the door opened again, admitting a wounded chancellor Roderick sustained by the kid Cole. "He is very brave. He fought one of the Templars, but got wounded. He's going to die," Cole said in his detached manner.

"Well, isn't he charming" Cullen said, eyeing the kid warily.

"What do we do now? Is there a way to leave the village?" Evelyn asked.

"He wants to tell you something before he dies", Cole said.

"There is a way", Roderick said, fatigue making him slur his words. "Only someone who has done the summer pilgrimage would know it. I think... I think Andraste wanted me to show you."

Cullen's features lightened. "Where is it? Can you take us there?"

"I think I can."

"There's the matter of this Elder One. I doubt he will stop here, and we must protect the people while they retreat. Why is he after us, do you know?" Cassandra asked to Cole.

"He wants the Herald", he said. "She stole all his mages, now he wants her."

Evelyn was not very surprised by that information, but it didn't make her position easy. She was horrified at the idea of giving herself up to that sort of monstrosity, but what choice did she have? She looked at the chantry, teeming with refugees and wounded soldiers. Her companions were all gathered there as well. The mages themselves were depending on them for protection. She could not let all these people down.

"I will go, if it saves everyone else."

"It won't. The elder one will not simply stop the attack if you go to him".

Evelyn gritted her teeth. There must be something they could do to avoid total annihilation.

"Herald, there is one more trebuchet inside Haven's walls. It could still be functioning. If you could get there, trigger an avalanche..." Cullen suggested.

"That would bury the whole village." Leliana said.

"I suppose that's the only way then. We need to make sure you are far enough when I activate it. I'm just not sure I can do it if there are enemies already inside the walls. The trebuchet will need to be calibrated."

"I'll go with you." Cassandra said. As much as she was pleased by the offer, knowing that it was likely a one way trip she didn't want to put others at risk, especially not the Seeker.  
"I will go as well," Solas said.

"Count me in too" Varric added.

Evelyn hesitated. She couldn't very well tell them not to bother, because it was a given that she could not arm the trebuchet and fend off the Venatori at the same time. She would just have to send them all back before she activated the trap. Hopefully the Elder One would just care about her presence and leave the others.

"We should go then. I just need lyrium and potions." She grabbed as many as she could and stored them in the many pockets of her uniform, then checked that the others had what they needed.  
"We go now." She looked at the hopeful people she would be leaving behind, sad because she knew she would not look at them again, adrenalin keeping her from caving in terror at the thought of facing the elder one. "Signal when you are at a safe distance," she said to Cullen and walked out the gates of the chantry, followed by her companions. The area in front of the building was already invaded by Venatori who were looking inside the cabins, many of them burning already because of the dragon's attacks earlier. Either way, of Haven there would not be much left after that night. 

Her team worked well, thanks to the many battles they had already fought together. They made way to the trebuchet, defeating many Venatori, but they managed to breach the outer palisade and attack them as they tried to make the machine aim at the side of the highest mountain facing Haven.

They were all tired and scared, but stood their ground and little by little the machine was in the right position for firing. The enemies seemed to have stopped appearing and the trebuchet was set to be activated in a single motion. "Now you need to go back", she said to the others.

"What? No we don't. Cullen has not given signal and the Elder One is not here. You could get overwhelmed before...." Cassandra said, but the reappearance of the high dragon interrupted her with a rain of fireballs. The trebuchet remained unscathed while the party scattered in the hopes of avoiding being hit. 

"We must fall back or it will destroy the trebuchet," Evelyn shouted, scrambling in the fresh snow to stand after her dodge. Her freezing hands were starting to bother her, but she had not given them much thought until then. The scorching heat that threatened to fall upon them was a bigger problem; they couldn't risk standing in the same place or they would be roasted. Her companions fled from the area while Evelyn looked at the sky to find the position of the beast. She saw it starting to swoop down and ran, but it was clearly meaning to get to her and landed right where she was headed. Evelyn had to skid to a stop, the snow almost making her slip. Heart beating desperately fast, she looked up at the fuming muzzle of the animal, the dreadful look in those eyes made her think it was crazy, if such a thing could be said of a dragon; she got a strange vibe from it that she couldn't quite associate to a normal animal. A stink of decay reached her nose even though it was numbed by the unrelenting cold of the night. She took a few steps back, trying to figure out how to buy some time; the dragon was only looking at her but not showing any sign of wanting to attack, though its body language seemed to suggest that it was very tempted to. Sounds coming from behind her made her jump in surprise. Expecting more Venatori, she turned fast and readied her staff, but found another terrifying creature advancing on her. The Elder One, a man that was so deformed it was almost nauseating; pieces of concrete embedded in his face, chest partly scarified, and a height that could not be human; he probably towered over the tallest of the Qunari. As he approach Evelyn was transfixed by his menacing red eyes, made even more sinister by the red sphere glowing in his hand.

"Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken, no more."

Evelyn was confused. Pretender? Was the being referring to the title of Herald? Somehow she didn't think that was the case. Aware that these were her last moments and she still had a job to do, she stood defiant, determined to make it as hard a job as possible for him to end her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I have finished the whole draft now so I should be able to update more regularly. Thanks for reading and thanks to BloodRose for the help reviewing.


	9. Chapter 9

Evelyn came to her senses and opened her eyes, but still found herself in complete darkness, feeling like she had been stepped on by a herd of druffalo. She turned her head, finding the darkness uninterrupted; her legs almost numb were partly covered by snow. She remembered the avalanche throwing her into a hole, but the amount of snow in front of her made her think that the exit was now buried. With careful movements she stood, shivering, and took stock of her situation. How long had she slept? Not much, she supposed, or she would have frozen to death. As she recalled the few minutes before the fall, she could not help but be haunted by Corypheus' words. The mark, which made her able to help undo his work, was also his very product. The bitterness she felt was more surprising than the revelation; deep down she knew it had to be chance what put her in the position of being the Herald. She summoned a small wisp to gain a modicum of light and found she was standing in an old tunnel, probably a remnant of the system that led to the temple.

She walked in the only direction possible, hearing nothing but her own steps and ragged breathing, which had started to be painful for the cold air. The wisp cast a greenish glow around her, making the place eerie, but didn't light the way much; however since she wanted to conserve her energy she would make do with that. She preferred to keep fire spells as last resort, when the cold made it too difficult for her to advance. Her hand went to check her stock of potions, to see if something survived the fall, and she was pleased that they were still intact, no doubt thanks to the enchantment she had cast onto the vials. It was hard to see what was left, the wisp making everything tinged with green, but she was confident she still had a lyrium potion and maybe two elfroot. 

She didn't know how long she'd walked so far, but she arrived at a crossroad, only most exits were blocked by cave-ins. It was forward then, and she continued, her hopes to reach the surface waning with every passing minute. Her mind filled with horrible scenarios, making her imagine that she was walking in circles, or that the exit was blocked, or that some creature might be prowling in the darkness waiting for her to grow weaker. It might have been morning already, or maybe only an hour had passed, she couldn't tell; her body was failing and she knew it; she only hoped she would realize when the best moment to use a fire spell would be, having no idea of how long she have to endure the cold. What were the others doing, she wondered to keep her mind distracted. They must have been a good distance away when the avalanche started, so they were probably fine. Did her companions make it? She found it strange that none of them had realized she had been left behind, but it was for the better. At least they had surely made it, resourceful as they were. Her mind conjured an image of the Seeker's likeness, and that filled her with nostalgia. Of all the people in Haven, Cassandra was the one she felt more attached to, even though their quarrels had embittered some of the time spent together. The possibility that she would not see her again threatened to break her more than the outside temperature. She felt she was hardly going to last a few more hours.

After what seemed like ages, a faint light in the distance enlivened her with hope. It was a few shades lighter that the tunnel, but that just signified that it was still dark outside. She hastened her steps, now almost limping for the pain that was gripping her limbs, and finally reached the exit, partly blocked by fresh snow. As she peeked outside she realized that the situation for her had not improved much. It was dark indeed, though the moons made the landscape visible enough, and she could see nothing but trees and mountains and snow all around her. Howling wolves in the distance also let her know that she was not alone. What to do? Should she go forward or stay for the night? If she wanted the chance to catch up to the Inquisition, she better go forward,, she reasoned, no matter how hard it would be. Since it was still the dead of night, maybe she was not too far behind them. She decided to head for the direction she figured the refugees had taken, with no guarantee of success. Walking close to the vegetation she could hear no man made sound, thanks to the strong winds that were blowing among the trees. She stuck her arms under her armpits for warmth, but it was not enough; it was time to use a fire spell to warm herself up a little. Dispelled the wisp, she cast a flame over her hand, big enough to give warmth but not so much that it would burn her. The trees did not provide much shelter and fatigue was making her sway in the wind. Fresh snow had fallen during the night and it made her travel all the more difficult, her legs almost tripping every few steps. She couldn't afford to rest now, or she'd never wake up. Among some of the trees she spotted a camp and walked up to it. It could have been a sign of her companions passing through, but she could find no traces. A brief inspection revealed that whoever had used it was long gone, and the wind would prevent fire from catching on the few half burnt logs that were left. She could only keep moving.

* * *

“We need to keep moving,” Solas said. She had not noticed him get so close.

“We should go back. Maybe she’s still there!”

Solas’ look turned harsh. “You know it’s almost impossible. We need to catch up with the others or we are dead too.”

She knew he was right. She gave another look back to the valley. What once had been Haven now was an expanse of snow. Only the chantry and the tree tops had been spared. She started walking, Solas giving her a nod of approval and following along with the others. It was hard not to look back; her heart was heavy with guilt at having left the Herald to die. She knew the woman had knowingly sacrificed herself, but Cassandra had been determined to save her, somehow. Fate had decreed that the mage had to face the Elder One alone. She would carry that shame for the rest of her life if Evelyn was really dead, but she refused to consider that a fact yet.

The hours already elapsed since the avalanche made her lose hope little by little. In truth, there was practically no way she could have survived, but there was also no way she was giving up so early.  
It was her fault. She should not have left with the others, not when she could have helped. Now they were left without hope, and she didn't know if there was a reason to keep trying anymore, if not for the refugees that were counting on the Inquisition to survive. They had been trudging through fresh snow for hours, in the dark of night and then in the morning. Now it was almost noon and they had yet to stop, but had not covered much ground because of the many wounded they were carrying. Roderick had been one of the first to go, as was expected, due to his injuries. Others had followed, and more would probably die before they found a suitable refuge. They had been able to carry some provisions and field equipment, but not enough for everyone. The refugees from Haven were many, forming a serpentine line whose head was lost in the curves and bends of the mountain. Cassandra kept to the rear, once in a while walking back to try to find trace of the Herald. It was all she could do. She realized the human column had stopped moving, finally stopping to let people eat and catch their breath. She moved through the tired villagers and soldiers to find Leliana who was towards the middle of the caravan.

"How are you holding up?" the former left hand asked. She looked pale and tired, like the rest, of them after all.

"I am fine Leliana. How are the villagers? Are you having any problems?"

"The problems are many, but we are doing what we can. We shall give out some rations now, but if we don't find some good place soon, we'll all die out here."

Cassandra nodded, already aware of the situation.

"The mages are helping the wounded, but they are too tired as well to be of real use. We should try to rest a little and march as far as we can before night falls," Leliana added.

"Do any of us even know where we are going?"

"Not really. We are going west, that much is clear, but nobody knows of a place where we could take refuge around here."

Cassandra nodded again. "I should take the chance to go back and see if I can find any trace of the Herald while we are stopping."

"Again? Cassandra, you are not made of steel. I know you feel it's your duty, but..."

"But what, Leliana? If she's still out there, we need to find her. After what she's done, we cannot forget about her just because it's hard."

Leliana cringed at the vigorous response. "I know that, I am not suggesting you let go. I am just worried about you; I know you are tired and hungry like everyone else. You shouldn't take this as if it was your fault, you could get sick if you keep it up."

"It is my fault. I never should have left her side. It is plain for all to see, and I would like to at least try to find her. I'll never forgive myself if she's..."

Leliana's eyes softened. "I know it's hard to hear this, but you must realize she's probably dead. Even if she had escaped the avalanche, which is highly unlikely, she would have had to survive out there alone, without knowing the way, and nothing to warm her or to eat."

Those words frustrated Cassandra; she did not need to hear things that only made her more restless. She passed a hand over her face, restoring the circulation for some seconds. "I know that, but it's not over yet. Not until I have a body. I have to go."

Leliana sighed. "At least take a few scouts with you. The last thing we need is losing you as well."

The warrior looked at her friend's worried expression and decided to humor her, though she didn't want to take the scouts from the group. "Fine. I'll leave in five minutes," she announced, leaving Leliana to gather the people she wanted to send, meanwhile getting some jerky and bread to calm her empty stomach.

They marched on a higher path than the one the group had taken, trying to get a better look over the ground behind Haven. The scouts had scattered, staying always in visual contact with each other, so as to have a better covering of the area. Cassandra was tired, Leliana had been right. Her eyes ached and her body protested the extended time spent standing with her full armor on. At least it sheltered her from the cold in a small measure, but her joints were still protesting. The sun was starting to lower on the horizon and they were a few miles from the camp, but there was no trace of the Herald. Could she have taken another path? Or maybe she could have gone another direction altogether, missing their traces completely. Discouraged, Cassandra felt anxiety arise, exacerbated by her uncertainty about what to do. Even going all the way back to Haven would not guarantee that she would find the woman. Yet somehow she thought that she could be alive, the stubborn little thing. She gazed at the horizon, seeing nothing but a white blanket over dark rocks and few scattered trees. "Don't die Evelyn. I will find you. Just hold on."

She whistled to call the scouts back. "Found anything?"

"No, Lady Pentaghast."

"No, but I have noticed that there could be another path that connected to the one we are following; it seems to go far south, but it could be that she ended up down there. Only if we go now it would mean passing the night out here," another scout, an elf Cassandra could swear she had never seen before, reported. That was the best news she had received since leaving Haven, and wanted to cling to it.

"We better go back or we won't have time to rest or anything to eat," Cassandra said. "Tomorrow we could try that other path."

With at least some fresh hope, though time was running low, they returned to the camp. As expected, the group was packing and the first part of the column was already marching. Leliana approached. "Any news?"

"We found no trace, but there's another path we could try tomorrow."

Leliana shook her head. "Tomorrow might already be too late." Cassandra locked her jaw to avoid giving a biting response. She didn't need to be reminded of the obvious. "How are things here?"

"We have lost another. We buried her in the snow, put a mark on the area. That's the best we can do for now."

She nodded in understanding. "I'll get the rest of the group ready to go soon."

* * *

Josephine was standing in front of the mound of snow surmounted by a stone that marked the grave. Clara had been her name. She was a seamstress, Leliana remembered, having sought her out for minor repairs; her mind could not even come up with an accurate memory of her face. She had not been of sound health when they left, and the harsh conditions of the trip had led to her end. Leliana listened to the ambassador's quiet sobbing, a hand over her mouth muffling the sound. If not for the slight shaking of her shoulders, it would even be hard to tell she was breaking down. Leliana hated seeing her friend like that, but above all she hated not being able to tell her it would be all right. Because she honestly didn't know if it would be. With the Herald and Haven lost, they were days away from starving or freezing to death, if the Elder One didn't catch them in the mean time. Her friend's effort to suffer in silence was admirable, but Leliana did not want her to go through it all alone; she felt the need to at least give her some hope, and maybe by doing so she would find some for herself as well. Josephine had never known such a desperate situation; she was still so innocent thanks to her privileged life and Leliana knew the awakening would be painful. She would try to give back the kindness she herself had received all those years ago when all seemed lost, though she knew she was no Mother Dorothea and her help would likely fall short.

She approached the ambassador and laid a hand on her shoulder; Josephine looked back, already schooling her expression before she identified Leliana. "Come here", the Nightingale said, drawing the younger woman into an embrace. Josephine fell into it, clinging to Leliana and sobbing more freely. Leliana held her in silence until the weeping subsided and she felt Josephine relax.

"I'm sorry, Leliana. It's just... I couldn't..."

"Shh, it's ok. I know it's hard," she replied, moving back to look her in the eyes. "There's no shame in this. I want you to know that I’m here for you, if you need me."

"Oh, Leliana, you are too good to me. I'm here feeling sorry for myself when there are people who have it much worse than me. When our poor Herald..." Josephine shook her head, lowering her eyes in shame. "I am a terrible person."

Leliana stroked her arm in reassurance. "You are not, Josephine. It is a terrible moment, and it will take a while to adjust. We just need to be strong and hold on until we find a way."  
"Find a way? With that monster come to doom all of Thedas, I wonder if any place is really safe anymore. If we even survive, will we be able to fight it?"

"That is not a question for today. For today we must try to survive and get to some place where we can get some respite. Then we will be able to start rebuilding, and we will think about how we can destroy that monster."

Josephine nodded. "Do you really think we can make it?"

Not really. Not all of us, she wanted to say, but couldn't. She knew they would have more losses, but the founders of the inquisition would probably all survive. All but the Herald, anyway. Which posed the problem of how to close the rifts in the future. Cassandra was so convinced she had survived, though, that she was willing to ignore the problem for a while, if nothing else not to hurt her friend. And she knew from experience that death is not always permanent. "If we play our cards right, we can make it." It was probably true, since most creatures had a weak point, and the elder one was not divine, so... Still, Josephine needed reassurance, not a lesson in how to defeat something that seemed too much for a few mere mortals.

"We cannot let go, not now. If we want to make it, we need to fight, Josie." She caressed her cheek with a gauntleted hand. "If we want to make it, we'll have to fight every step of the way. We at least owe it to the Herald to try." The ambassador looked pensive. "You are right, Leliana. I will try." 

Leliana nodded. "Come; let us help put away that tent. There are the provisions to pack as well..." She could only hope to distract her friend for the time being. She knew she would still suffer, but if she kept busy she would feel less helpless. Josephine turned to give a last look to the grave. "We will make a memorial for the fallen once we set up a new base of operations. Do not worry, nobody will be forgotten."

Josephine nodded, a determined look settled on her face. "I will help. Just tell me what to do."

* * *

The night was falling. The senior members of the Inquisition had set up a few campfires with the help of the refugees to stave off the cold; the wounded were all gathered close to the fires and constantly guarded by mages or improvised healers. Cassandra considered that they would need to train some real healers once they were safe again, if it ever came to that. She was warming up near one of those fires, eating some strips of dried meat and stale bread in silence. The camp was filled with whispers and everyone's mood was bleak. This would be their second night out in the wilderness and they still had no idea if the next day would see them better off.

"There's someone approaching! Come here," someone shouted. Cassandra looked at Leliana in question, her heart picking up speed. It was one of her scouts. "They found someone, we should go," she said, getting Cassandra out of her musings. Knowing that it could be the herald, she quickly put her meal aside and walked to where the scout had run back to. Cullen was coming along as well, in the direction of a higher pass amidst some rocks. The figure was still in the distance, but the shape was unmistakable in Cassandra's eyes. It was the Herald! She had made it! The figure was standing overhead, collapsing just seconds after the group spotted her. Cassandra and the others ran, hoping it was not too late. She raised the frail body from the ground; it was cold as the snow around it and she took great care not to hurt her while she put her in a sitting position. 

"Does she live?" Cullen asked.

"I think so" Cassandra replied. Cullen helped her make her stand; the Herald half woke up, murmuring something she could not understand, and tried to put some weight on her own legs, but they had to carry most of it.

"Here, let me do that" Iron Bull said, having arrived there in silence. He easily took Evelyn in his arms and walked back without uttering another word; Cassandra followed closely with the others, almost disbelieving her own eyes for the lucky find and still worried for the condition of the mage.

"Put her on that cot", Leliana, ready as always, instructed the giant; she and Mother Giselle immediately went to work with warm blankets and fresh clothes to make the Herald's recovery easier. She appeared to be sleeping still, her features pale, frost sticking to her hair and eyebrows. Cassandra could only watch and hope for the best. It was a miracle and she could scarcely believe what was in front of her, but Evelyn had survived.

"She needs to rest now. Should she wake up, she should be given some water."

"I'll take care of that," Cassandra said, planning on staying at the Herald's side anyway. It was the least she could do, after all. Guilt had been consuming her, but it was also an unmistakable sense of longing that made her despair when she thought that Evelyn could have been lost to them. To her. She sat on a stone and took Evelyn's hand under the blanket. It was still so cold, she kept it in both of hers both to confirm she was real and to warm her a little. Evelyn murmured something, but she was still in the throes of sleep. Unwilling to disturb her rest, she kept silent and started her vigil.

Cassandra had been nodding off when a rasping sound came from the cot. Realizing it had to be the Herald, she sat up in an instant, the habit ingrained by the many years spent on the field in precarious situations. Evelyn was clearing her throat, dehydration making it difficult for her to speak. Cassandra fetched the flask and with great care raised Evelyn's head, letting her lips touch the water. After a while, the mage managed to look at the Seeker and tried a smile, but her cracked lips made her grimace. 

"Easy, you have to recover" Cassandra warned.  
"I'm not dead then?"

"Most certainly not."

"Good. I was not in a hurry to join the Maker. Though I'm kind of hurting all over right now."

"I'm glad you made it back. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone."

"It's probably better that way. How did you find me?"

Cassandra frowned in confusion. "You actually found us. You collapsed just after we spotted you near the camp."

"That wasn't the first time I collapsed. I must have really got lucky. I don't think I would have woken up again if you had not found me."

Cassandra brushed over the strands of hair over Evelyn's face. "I would never forgive myself if we had lost you."

"Thanks. I guess. I hope you all made it here after all," Evelyn said, her head lolling showed that she was still too tired to keep talking.

The warrior shook her head, thinking of all the people they had lost that far. "You shouldn't worry about that right now. You need to rest. I'll be here if you need anything." She lowered her on the bedding.

"Wait... you should know... the Elder One..."

Evelyn's eyes were barely staying open and she was struggling to keep awake. "It will have to wait for a while. You had better get some sleep now," Cassandra objected. Even if she had important strategic information, nobody was in condition to do anything about it anyway. She looked at the Herald fall asleep again, the sight stirring a fondness for the woman she would not have believed months ago. The immense relief she had knowing that she would be all right put the other immediate problems in second place, and she was cheerful as she stood from her place and stretched her legs. Her grumbling stomach reminded her that she had left her meal halfway through the night before and had not eaten anything since. She left the tent and found Leliana and Cullen sitting at a nearby fire while the rest of the camp was awakening, the sky still dark. As she approached it became clear they were bickering, though softly enough that they caused no disturbance. 

"What is it?" she inquired, annoyed that they soured her mood so early.

"We still are in trouble, Cassandra. We must decide on a direction and find some civilized place soon," Leliana informed her, already on a war path at such an early hour. Her sunken eyes hinted that she had not had much sleep either that night. Cassandra nodded in acknowledgement. "I know."

"How is she?" Leliana asked.

"Dehydrated, tired, but she seems all right."

"That at least is a good thing," Cullen interjected.

"And you were right, after all. I'm sorry for the things I said, but you know how the odds were." 

"I know, Leliana. You were not without reason, but thankfully the Herald is resourceful. She seemed to have some information for us."

"Good. Hopefully it's something we can use to take care of this Elder One."

"I would not bet about it" Cullen said. "That thing did not even seem human, and was leading a horde of corrupted Templars."

Despite all the troubles they still had, Cassandra was optimistic. If the Maker had seen fit to return Evelyn to them, maybe all hope was not lost yet.

* * *

When she came to again, Evelyn found Josephine at her side. She smiled down to her and Evelyn tried to respond in kind, only to have her split lips aching again. Josephine dried the blood with a handkerchief shaking her head. "I cannot express how happy I am to see you again, Evelyn. Everyone was so worried. We thought we had lost you forever." It was a little disappointing not to see Cassandra at her side, but she knew it was selfish to want that. She had certainly better things to do. It was heartwarming that she had looked for her and watched over her during the night and wondered if maybe they could have a more normal relationship after all; ideologies aside, she felt safer with her near, and her presence was soothing, her reasoning never too biased. She would have to make sure to thank her.

Evelyn felt strong enough to get to a sitting position. It seemed she had lost no body part to the freezing temperatures, thanks to her well calculated spells. It looked like luck had helped her out again, pushing her out of harm's way at the last moment. Or maybe it was true that Andraste herself was watching over her. She took a moment to thank the Maker in her mind. Luck would eventually run out one day, but the Maker's favor would mean that they had some chance to succeed.

"I am glad to be back, Josephine. And to see you made it."

"Can I get you anything? You must be terribly hungry."

"I am, now that you mention it. But water would be most welcome too."

"I'll go get something. You stay here. The healers have said you need to rest more."

She might need to, but what of the others? She did not believe their supplies would last long. It had already been a couple of days since they left, and she could not imagine them having stored much before rushing out of Haven. What could she do? It was her fault the disaster had befallen the village. She needed to do something, but she was also the least prepared to survive in the wilderness. Maybe the Inquisition heads would have something planned already. She needed to see them, so ignoring Josephine's orders she stood, immediately feeling light headed, but there was nothing around for her to hold on to. Josephine reappeared inside the tent and gave her a disapproving look, rushing to her side to hold her up while balancing a tray with the other hand. "I recall telling you to stay put, Evelyn. You are as stubborn as a mule, I see."

Evelyn resigned herself to be put back on the cot. She hated to be a hindrance, but accepted with gratitude the food and water proffered.

* * *

She looked back to the long line of people who were walking behind her and smiled at the relief she could read in their eyes. Solas had proved a valuable asset once again. It was clear that he had known about this fortress in the middle of nowhere, but it was mind boggling that he could lead them to it without as much as a hesitation. Evelyn wondered again how that could be. Maybe he had seen it in some memory from the fade? As they approached the fortress - Skyhold, Solas had called it - it was clear that the place had been abandoned for a long time; snow covered most of the surfaces in sight; the road leading to it was as well snowed in or had been partially covered by vegetation. The gate to the fortress was open and there was no sign of life. No sentient life, anyway; it was probably teeming with wildlife, she suspected. But for the weary travelers, it was a sight to behold. Of course it would contain neither food nor warm beds, but it was a place they could make their own. On top of that, it looked like it could be easily defended. She wondered what had caused the previous occupants to leave it in the first place.

The caravan settled in. The place was inspected and most of the structures still seemed sound. Cullen declared it fit to host the Inquisition, and it looked like it would accommodate more than what Haven could. As she looked out from the battlements, Evelyn asked herself why she always seemed to end up living in such secluded places. First the Circle, then Haven, now Skyhold. It looked like the Maker wanted her to live outside of civilization.


	10. Chapter 10

Skyhold was coming up well; most of the refugees and of the people coming in pilgrimage had been working hard to bring the place to what could have been the fortress's former glory, and it was starting to show: part of the main building had been restored, the ramparts had been mostly repaired and new living spaces were being opened almost every day. There was still much work to do, but it looked like the Inquisition had found a place to settle in that would also be easier to defend than Haven. Evelyn had kept herself busy by helping the wounded and doing some odd jobs in the fortress, but some expeditions had been completed as well. She was starting to feel at home there, though she was still uncomfortable with all the ceremony she had to suffer through when she was in Skyhold ever since she had been proclaimed Inquisitor. Out in the field she felt more like herself, but here she was being often scrutinized, though the former villagers were only looking up to her. Having the mages there, and among them her former comrades, was not as comforting as she would have thought. 

Even before the disaster that wiped out Haven, talking to her former companions from the Circle of Ostwick had left her bitter. Instead of the happy reunion she had envisioned, the mages had given her a rather cold reception, and she herself had not felt the relief she had wanted. She was glad to see them again, but now they belonged in the past, and for them she was one of the higher ups, someone who had advanced in status and could be resented, like the common people often resented the noble for their privilege. It felt like losing family again, though the relationships with those who had reached Haven had never been particularly close. In truth, her life with the Circle was over the day she had left it in a hurry, when the riots made it difficult for the Templars to go after every mage that escaped. From then on, it was only a matter of time before the group dispersed. They had never been united beside the fact of having to stay under the same roof. It was unsettling to have not felt much chagrin at the loss of her former group, but now she had spent enough time with the Inquisition to have a feeling of belonging and there was nothing she would rather do. Her new position had made her feel lonelier because of the distance it added between her and her entourage, but at least with her inner circle not much had changed, besides the troubling fact that now she had the last word on most decisions.

While she was returning from the stables with Varric to the main courtyard she noticed that a large number of people were gathered around the training circle. There were usually few spectators when recruits sparred there, so this number of watchers meant someone was giving a show.

"Do you know who's there?" she asked Varric, usually more informed on gossip.

Sera jumped down from a roof ending right beside Evelyn and walked with the two without missing a beat. "Grumpy is giving a good ass whooping to your recruits, your Inquisitress.” Ignoring the antics of the elf, whose pranks Evelyn was still not used to, she was curious to see the 'ass whooping' her favorite Seeker was giving. 

"You should not talk that way about the recruits, Sera. We don't want them to feel bad about it."

"Oh, but it's not me making them feel bad. Look for yourself. Doesn't hurt to look. I mean, with the body that woman has," the elf said with a leer. "Too bad she's so sour." 

Evelyn felt a wave of irritation at those words. Who was the elf to speak that way of her… friend? Subordinate? It did not matter.

"Come on, your Inquisitress, we deserve some good show too, yeah?” she said, elbowing Evelyn’s ribs to punctuate her words. “Especially with all that stinky slime you had us trudge through in the past weeks. Bleah. Don't wanna think about it."

The mage could empathize with the elf about that; the trip to the Fallow Mire had been a miserable affaire for everyone. It had taken days for the smell to subside.

"I suppose we could go take a look, though I don't particularly like to see the Seeker win at anything," Varric said resignedly as Sera dragged Evelyn to the crowd. Upon seeing the Inquisitor, the closest people whispered among themselves and made way for them so they could approach the enclosure. All the “she’s the Inquisitor” repeated with reverence made Evelyn feel a little sick and her memories went to the moment Corypheus accused her of being a pretender. Maybe he was the only one who realized that she was nothing but a fraud. The crowd pressing on her brought her back to the present and made her uncomfortable, but at least she had a good view of the battle. Cassandra was facing a tall but clumsy man; both had wooden swords and wooden shields and now they were facing each other. 

As she looked around, Evelyn realized that the people aggregated there were mostly the new recruits that Cullen said had arrived a few days before their expedition returned. No wonder they had flocked to view the exchange, but for the old timers of the Inquisition there was virtually nothing interesting in watching a big man get beaten around by the experienced Seeker. In fact, it looked like the woman was even holding back to avoid disarming him immediately.

Sera had not been kidding about the recruits being put to shame, but as she followed the elf's look, she wanted to beat herself in the head for not understanding what she had meant by 'good show'. From their vantage point they could see the back and flank of the warrior, who filled her leather pants with muscled legs, dancing on the ground with practiced ease in a show of grace and power that captivated Evelyn, like it always did when she happened to walk by during her practice time on the dummies. The realization that the elf was looking at the Seeker with lecherous eyes made her chest burn with irritation. Sera was a good fighter, with good principles even, but to Evelyn it seemed that she had no respect for anything, and the thought that she was looking with less than noble intent made her uncomfortable on account of the Seeker. But with all the people reunited there that likely had the same view... what if they all were doing the same? She looked again, imagining that all the looks of wonder were not due solely to the fight. It was an uncomfortable thought, but she could hardly stop the practice because she was afraid of the intent with which those people were following it. The tall man in the ring landed on his back in a cloud of dust again and Cassandra walked away from him, a sheen of sweat covering her forehead. She stopped to get a cloth from the fence a little distance away from the mage and wiped her face, then her eyes landed on Evelyn.

"Want to give it a try?" she asked her. Evelyn's mind, still working on the previous images, had a prompt reply. "Who wouldn't?" she said absently, focused still on the woman's strong body. Sera guffawed beside her, making her snap out of her reverie right when Cassandra shouted "Gustav, grab a practice staff from the rack." The mage realized she was in trouble, having completely misunderstood the question, which brought about a fierce blush to her face. No sane person would have responded that way, however the question was intended. What had gotten into her mind? The Seeker gestured for her to walk around the enclosure to enter the ring and she could not back out now, with all those people expecting to see the Inquisitor herself face the warrior. The young man named Gustav returned with a blunt staff and kneeled before handing it to her. "Inquisitor."

Evelyn sighed and took it. It was not like her usual staves, this one was more like a baton and she was looked at it trying to figure out how she was supposed to use it. With the corner of her eye she saw Cassandra advance on her with sword and shield and she reacted, not wanting to be caught unawares. A wave of force magic pushed Cassandra back, toppling her, but she immediately recognized that she had used too much force; the woman landed with a cry.

“Oh, no! Cassandra!” She moved over and knelt beside the warrior. This was the second time she downed her and she was ashamed of herself for her poor reactions. “Did I hurt you?” The warrior opened her eyes and looked at her, and Evelyn sighed in relief. She needed to be more careful. She extended a hand to help Cassandra up, but the warrior took it and leveraged her, switching positions with a speed that left Evelyn disoriented for a moment. 

Cassandra hovered over her, an eyebrow raised. “I was just going to give you pointers about your staff, Inquisitor. But you should be mindful of an enemy that is not dead.” She stood and dusted herself off, leaving Evelyn to get up by herself.

“Oh.” Evelyn was afraid to look at the crowd and see their reactions. "Why would I even need this?” she said pointing to her staff, “I hardly need to fight when I can use magic."

"Is that right, Inquisitor?" Cassandra said with a tone Evelyn had hardly ever heard from the woman. "What about this?"

The Seeker kneeled, closed her eyes and planted her sword into the ground. Evelyn’s eyes widened in alarm. No, she wouldn't do that... She had been too slow to understand the Seeker's intentions and could only kneel in pain when her mana was drained from her body, drawing a surprised murmur from the crowd. Gritting her teeth, she balanced on her staff to avoid falling face first, in disbelief for the warrior's harsh treatment. As the pain subsided, she felt empty all over and wondered if that was what a tranquil felt. With the pain gone she could stand again amidst the loud chattering of the onlookers. 

"That was... hardly necessary, Seeker," she said hoping to convey with her eyes her displeasure towards such a move.

"You won't always have the luxury of choosing your opponent's tactics, Inquisitor," Cassandra replied readying her own stance; she did have a point, though she would question her choice of circumstance later. 

Forced to face the battle with only a staff, she tried to grasp it as a fighter would and studied Cassandra's position, hoping to avoid complete humiliation. Cassandra advanced shield first, entering Evelyn's personal space, and the mage tried to deviate her course by leveraging on the staff against the shield, only to end up displaced by the other's mass. Cassandra walked back and faced Evelyn again. 

"There's no use trying to move an opponent much heavier than you, Inquisitor. You need to learn to walk around them, making your enemy waste their strength. Next time, step aside and try to hit me when I get past you." The Seeker walked to her again, faster this time, and Evelyn tried to side step, almost tripping on her staff in the process. Cassandra mercifully did not follow through with her bash.

"Again. That staff is part of you; do not hold it like it were a snake."

The mage sighed again, wishing she had a proper staff instead. She could not treat this unfamiliar piece of wood like a weapon, but she would try, if nothing else to avoid even more ridicule in front of her people. She readied her stance, observing Cassandra's movements to figure out when to side step her. Cassandra charged, faster this time, giving her little space to maneuver. She didn't stumble but she couldn't find the right moment to hit and the Seeker took advantage of her moment of confusion to immobilize her from behind and put the wooden sword to her throat. Evelyn's heart was pounding, both for the surprise and for the hot breath of the Seeker that was grazing her cheek. "Too slow," the Seeker murmured to her ear, seemingly out of breath as well. It took a little longer for Evelyn to recover, but this time she was determined to succeed, and she did. Of course by then the warrior had ramped up the difficulty, and started to make her parry sword attacks, sending her stumbling into the ground a couple of times. Evelyn was starting to get fed of the routine. If that was how the recruits were trained, she wondered how so many of them even stayed. Despite all that she was getting better thanks to the suggestions of her trainer, who nodded in appreciation of her progress.

"Now we will combine some of the previous techniques, Inquisitor. Stand ready." Evelyn managed to sidestep the shield bash and hit the Seeker rotating before she stopped her momentum. The warrior, close to her after the last movement, performed a sword attack which Evelyn deflected successfully. When she was starting to feel good about herself, Cassandra with a lightning fast motion of her sword made her staff go flying, then with a bash of her shield sent her sprawling. Thankfully she didn't hit hard, but she felt the impact with the ground anyway. The crowd still watching them went 'ooh' around Evelyn, reminding her of the meager figure she was making. The Seeker, not done with her, followed up by crouching over her, immobilizing her chest with a knee, the other holding her flank. She brought her sword level with her neck, and Evelyn arched her back to escape the contact with it. Soon after the Seeker released her and offered a hand for her to stand up.

"T-thank you", said the flustered Trevelyan.

"Don't thank me yet. You have learned only to yield so far", Cassandra replied curtly, avoiding her face.

"I'll do better," the other replied with determination, causing the Seeker to turn to face her. "Maybe kick your ass, even", the mage said with a smile that promised revenge, though she was bluffing. There was no way she was going to beat the Seeker without magic.

Cassandra smirked, seemingly enjoying the taunt. "I'd like to see you try."

"We are done for today. If you wish to continue, go to Warden Blackwall or Iron Bull," Cassandra shouted to the recruits before going in the direction of the smithy.

Evelyn was tempted to give the warrior a piece of her mind, but that would have to wait until she had cleaned up a bit, and put some salve on her bruises. The woman was a harsh teacher, but she was not unfair, and Evelyn was happy with what she had learned. She just could have done without the attitude. Josephine had appeared from the dispersing crowd, a worried look on her face. 

"Inquisitor! Are you all right?"

She gave a tired smile to the woman, who was proving to be a good friend especially since they reached Skyhold. 

"I think nothing is broken, so I guess it's a yes." 

Josephine took her by the arm, going in the direction of the main building. "I'm sorry. Lady Pentaghast didn't show any regard for your status during this demonstration."

"No, she didn't. But I suppose that if she did she would not be a good teacher after all."

"Maybe so, but she didn't have to be so rough. I will tell her a few words later," Josephine insisted.

"It's not necessary, Josephine. I suffered more or less what every recruit has to go through when they come to us. Now that I think about it, I certainly don't envy them." If someone told her she'd have to go through more of the same tomorrow, she'd probably ask to be transferred to kitchen duty.

* * *

Cassandra slammed the door of the smithy. The personnel was still there hammering away, not even noticing her entrance. Just as well; she was still shaking and did not need someone noticing her in that state. She walked up the stairs to her perch taking two at a time and started to get rid of her armor; the long sparring sessions had made her sweaty and dirt had gone everywhere. Once the last of her armor pieces clattered to the ground, she exhaled in relief and took a cloth to the wash basin to get at least most of the grime off. Her body was still tingling from earlier. How could that have happened? Every contact with the mage had drawn a response from her body, to the point that she was afraid someone would notice. She had no reason to react that way, not with the Inquisitor, the Herald. Yet she could not deny the tingling she had gotten when she landed on the Inquisitor, so close she could kiss her. She had wanted to. And it was a very bad idea. She briskly lathered herself off and donned some lighter clothing to be presentable for dinner later. The recruits had drained her today. A light cough made her aware someone was in her loft. It was a rare occurrence for someone to venture there, and the loud sounds of the metal workers muffled any other.  
"Is everything all right?" Leliana asked. It was rare to see her walk around, much less in the smithy. She had taken to the tower pretty well since they had arrived in Skyhold.  
"Of course. Why should it not be?" She was slightly piqued, since Leliana seemed to always decipher her moods better than anyone else. She didn't wish to let her know what had transpired or she would not survive the subsequent teasing. Leliana walked to the narrow window that gave to the courtyard and looked out. "You gave the Inquisitor quite the lesson. Are you sure it was not too much?" She asked almost absently, as if she was not curious about the response. Cassandra knew better.  
"She needs to know how to handle herself. We know there are mages and Templars in the enemy's ranks," she replied while buttoning her shirt. “She might not always be able to rely on magic to defend herself.”  
"Of course. But you seemed very intent in giving her a lesson," Leliana replied with calm, stressing the last word.  
"So what of it? I'm sure everyone has learned a lot today."  
Leliana looked at her, her frown as she searched her eyes showing her uncertainty. “I don’t think that was the point in this conversation.”  
“What is the point then?”  
“You know what the point is, you treated the Inquisitor like a common recruit and made a joke of her. What is happening, Cassandra? Is there something you wish to tell me?”  
“No, Leliana, there is nothing to say. I was a little nervous and I lost track of the audience we had. It won’t happen again.”  
Leliana sighed and shook her head. “That’s also not where I was going. You know you can talk to me about anything. If there’s a problem with the Inquisitor, I hope you’ll let me know.”  
She hesitated. It was true that she had a problem with Evelyn, but it was not the kind Leliana was probably thinking. “I will.” No point telling her otherwise.  
Leliana kept looking at her as if sensing something was amiss, but ultimately she nodded. “Very well. You know where to find me. I should go.”

* * *

Judging by the sounds coming from above, Leliana had not been kidding when she said that she was afraid for Varric's safety. As Evelyn walked up the stairs leading to Cassandra's nest, the shouting and the sounds of furniture being moved around intensified. She hoped she would not have to use a glyph of paralysis to defuse the situation. At the top of the stairs she found a pissed off dwarf confronted by a very infuriated Seeker, separated by a table. Cassandra threw the table and Evelyn readied her spell, but she witnessed the exchange for a while, keeping out of the discussion. When Cassandra started trying to hit Varric, though, she felt the need to make an intervention. 

"Please, let us try to talk in a civil manner. Varric may have been wrong, but he has helped us when he was not forced to do so."

"You are taking his defense now? You don't know what this snake has done, Inquisitor. He cares about nothing but himself." Evelyn didn't think she had ever seen the seeker so uncontrollably enraged, but she didn't know the full picture to understand their argument. She had noticed the animosity between the two, though neither had wanted to comment about it.

"I am not taking anyone's defense, nor am I accusing anyone without knowing the facts. I believe this is between you two and I can respect that, as long as it does not disrupt the functioning of the Inquisition. Please, Cassandra...."

"He withheld information about the Champion of Kirkwall. If we had found her in time, maybe Justinia would still be alive," she explained with her voice almost breaking.

"For all we know, if she had been at the conclave, she'd be dead too," Varric said shaking his head. 

Cassandra went to sit on a chair, the only piece of furniture that was still upright, the fight gone out of her, and the dwarf took the chance to make himself scarce. What was that about the Champion, Evelyn wondered. She had talked to her; she was the one that had harbored that - in this case veritable - snake that had sealed the war between Templars and mages. She found it difficult to refrain from accusing her of the start of the war, but the woman she had met seemed to have suffered enough for what happened in Kirkwall.

"I have failed, Inquisitor. I have let him deceive me, believed his lies. If we had found her, maybe all of this would not have happened. The Maker would not have needed to send you instead."

The Seeker seemed seriously convinced that the woman could have helped avoid the explosion at the conclave, yet after her own meeting with the Champion she could not really understand why, though that too was an unfair judgment clouded by Hawke's connection to the mage who had started the war. 

"You cannot know that. You are punishing yourself for things that are beyond our control," Evelyn tried to reason, ignoring the sense of disappointment Cassandra's words had sprung. Cassandra would have gladly had the Champion lead the Inquisition instead of her. She knew she was not the best person to hold the position, but despite her own misgivings about that she could not help feeling inadequate even more than before.

"I could have done more," Cassandra kept going, "I should have known he was lying to me. I am not fit to stay here, to be part of the Inquisition." The mage couldn't believe her ears. The one who founded the Inquisition now doubted herself to that point? Evelyn did the thing her instinct pushed her to do, and to the void with appropriateness. She kneeled and embraced the shaken woman, holding her firmly. "You can't be serious, Cassandra. Do you not know you have been my rock through all this? I couldn't even imagine being alive if you had not been there. I can't imagine the Inquisition succeeding if you were to go. So please don't even joke about that." She felt the Seeker take a big shaky breath. 

"Thank you, Evelyn. I don't deserve all your praise, but..."

Evelyn put her at arm’s length to look her in the eye, immediately missing the contact. "You do. Stop doubting yourself. We will make it, with or without the Champion, but we won't make it without you."

Cassandra closed her eyes and nodded. "I am... sorry. I... need some time now."

"Fair enough," Evelyn said and stood. She wished she could do more to lift Cassandra's spirits, but she knew it would not be appreciated. "I'll see you later."

As she walked back to the courtyard, she fought to shake the warm feelings that had take room in her at the contact with the woman, the fresh air grounding her to the present. Indulging in those feelings was stupid. She and the Seeker were too different, not to mention Cassandra would probably prefer someone as capable as the Champion, if she even liked women.

"Inquisitor."

She had not even noticed Cullen standing there waiting for her.

"Your trainers have arrived. I suggest talking with them to find the one that most suits you."

"Thank you, Cullen. I will do that right away." Finally, she could put her mind to some more constructive task than mooning over the Seeker.

* * *

Evelyn tried again the move she had just learned, this time meeting Iron Bull's parry and having to take a step back when he pushed her away. "Not like that, Inquisitor. You need to try and get to my weak points," he commented, once again dropping into a guard stance, moving slowly to read Evelyn's movements.

"As if you had any, Bull. I'm starting to think I picked the wrong teacher for this. You are just too intimidating for a beginner."

"Nonsense. You are making progress, just forget who I am and fight like you mean it."

"All right, I'll try."

She studied him as they circled each other under the eyes of a few curious watchers. They made her quite uncomfortable, but at least the spot they had chosen was a little more secluded compared to the arena they had built in the main courtyard. Here in the area of the stables only a handful of people were milling about, and they were somewhat more discreet in their curiosity. She attempted a feint and followed up with a slash that was meant to reach Bull's neck, only to be rebuffed with ease once more. Maybe she was not cut for this. What if she had to go back, tail between her legs, and find a more suitable specialization? For now she dismissed the thought, holding on to the hope that in time she would get better, though she would never beat Iron Bull unless she started adding magic to her attacks. For now though, she would have to learn the moves before practicing the art of the Knight Enchanter proper and really see the results she was hoping for. And all that while forgetting that she would also share her specialty with Vivienne. It was uncomfortable, but the abilities were worth even the insufferable smirk of the Court Enchanter, who remarked, knowing full well how irksome it was, how she had chosen the specialization of the circle mages most faithful to the chantry. She preferred to liken herself to the arcane warriors of old elven lore, thank you very much.

As she started to swing her sword again, she heard heavy steps marching purposely in her direction, but tried to dismiss the sound and concentrate, lest she find a sword in her head while distracted. Iron Bull was a demanding teacher and wanted her to be serious about their lessons.

Iron Bull blocked her attack and stood still, looking behind Evelyn. She turned to see what he was looking at. Cassandra had stopped behind her, a murderous look directed towards the qunari and then herself.  
"Cassandra? Did you need something?" That look did not promise anything good. She hoped she was not carrying bad news.

"I needed to speak with you, Inquisitor, but I see this is not a good time." More looking at Iron Bull. Suspicious, Evelyn insisted.

"Well, you are here now. Bull, let me take some minutes."

"As you wish, Inquisitor." He returned the look to the Seeker. Evelyn needed to understand what had brought the attitude in both of them. She gestured for the Seeker to follow and the two moved a little distance away from Iron Bull.

"What is it, Cassandra?"

"I was looking for you because I wanted to..." She stopped, seemingly reconsidering her words. She then shook her head. "Inquisitor, what are you doing with Iron Bull?"

"I think it should be pretty self explanatory, Cassandra. I am taking lessons in swordsmanship."

"And how is that a good idea? Does your next plan involve throwing yourself at the enemy like a sword fighter?"

Puzzled, the mage was at loss for words for a while. What was she getting at? "Should I remind you that you gave me a lesson but a few weeks ago?"   
She couldn't help but escalate in petulance, following the Seeker's unreasonable disposition.

"That was about how to defend yourself, not about how to go into battle with a sword. I am not as irresponsible as to let you decide to go into battle in a field that does not pertain you. You could get easily hurt, Inquisitor."

"And since when do you decide what I can or cannot decide, Seeker? This is something I need to do, and you should stay out of it."

"I am merely pointing out the consequences this choice could have. And you are letting this... qunari attempt to teach you something so difficult? Why didn't you talk to the advisors first?"

"Hey, I'm right here," Iron Bull protested, their raised voices letting him know he was involved in the conversation.

"Well, you should be ashamed of yourself. What you are doing could endanger the Inquisitor."

"Cassandra, Iron Bull is just doing what I asked of him. Leave him out of this."

"I have no problem with him as long as he remembers his place. And that does not include encouraging you to put your life unnecessarily at risk."

"Remember my place?" Iron Bull stepped forward, not pleased of the treatment he was receiving. "I think someone else here is not remembering her place. If you have a problem with me, why don't you... "

Seeing the Bull step towards Cassandra with his sword in his hand and the Seeker reach for her own, Evelyn decided to try and defuse the situation before the two stubborn idiots came to blows. She stepped between them, arms raised to stop them from advancing, ready to use some force magic if necessary. "Stop it, you two. Cassandra, maybe we should talk more privately. Iron Bull, thanks for your lesson. I'm sorry for all this."

She faced the Seeker and walked with her to the base of the stairs that led to the kitchens. "Mind telling me what is gotten into you? Other people might have heard us. Do you want to undermine me in front of my people?" Evelyn hissed.

"I... it was not my intention," Cassandra said. At least she had the sense to look mortified. "Why are you doing this, Inquisitor?"

"I have decided to train as a Knight Enchanter for my specialization. It is obvious I need some basics on how to handle a sword first."

"You... what? Could you not find a less dangerous specialization?" Cassandra's voice rose again. The woman always had to make it hard for Evelyn; she needed to realize she was not some walking anchor that had to be shielded from everything.

"It is the most sensible choice for me, Seeker. I will be able to heal people on the battlefield, to use the Spirit Blade to attack... Like Vivienne can do. It will be very useful."

"That attack brings her right in the frontlines against armored enemies. Surely you realize the danger of that," Cassandra insisted. "It is very irresponsible to...."

"I will also learn the most powerful shielding I have seen so far." the mage said raising her voice in frustration. "It will make me nigh invincible for seconds! If you can't see the use in such a skillset, then I don't know what else to say. I can be useful even on the frontlines when it is needed. I'm not going to be reckless, Cassandra."

The Seeker sighed in defeat. "I suppose there's no talking you out of this."

"You suppose right."

She shook her head. "Then do as you wish. But I still disapprove of this, I want you to know."

Evelyn rolled her eyes. Of course she did. "Why am I even explaining myself to you? As far as I know, you are not in charge of me. I have the right to take the decision I deem appropriate." 

The Seeker looked hurt. Evelyn knew she was being overly harsh, but so had been Cassandra. If she had to be the Inquisitor, Cassandra needed to accept that she could not control what she did. She was enraged by her trying to dictate how she should fight, but on the other hand she could not stand those eyes filled with pain. She made a conscious effort not to reach out and try to soften the reprimand.

"Of course. I should go." Cassandra left without another word, and Evelyn had to force herself to stand still instead of trying to stop the Seeker. She did not need to be consoled. She needed to see Evelyn as a capable person. Why had she even agreed to make her Inquisitor if she thought so little of her? It occurred to her that Cassandra had not even asked what she had meant to ask her in the first place.

"Well, Inquisitor, if your tutor is done with the complaints, we could continue."

She did not feel like it anymore, but that was not a reason to stop practicing. She might need the skills eventually, and could not put off practice when she had no reason to do so. "Very well, Bull. Thank you for putting up with this."

"It's no biggie. The woman needs to be reminded of what boundaries are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I think I have mangled Sera's voice and I apologize; one of the reasons I can't make her one of the mains is that I would no be able to write her properly.  
> Special thanks to BloodRose for taking the time to help me out.


	11. Chapter 11

As Evelyn trudged through the muddy ground, she missed the cold, dry air of Skyhold. They had met the Warden, found a possible plan of their enemy, but now they had a few more things to take care of in Crestwood. They had conquered the old fort near the village, thus opening up a new trade route and gaining benevolence, but in the process they had deprived a dragon of her nest. 

"Surely she'll find another place, just like she had found this one. Or better still, in the old village there's plenty of room now," Evelyn reasoned.

"She's scaring off the villagers, Evelyn." Cassandra explained.

"Not to mention she's eating cattle, cats and... probably people as well" Varric added with his deadpan. Evelyn rolled her eyes.

"She is a danger, we cannot let a dragon loose on a land already as ravaged as this," Cassandra continued after giving a scolding look at the dwarf.

"Aww come on Inquisitor, it will be exciting. We are going to fight a dragon! Think of all the admirers you'll have when the voice spreads," Sera said.

Evelyn sighed. Was she the only person with some sense of self preservation in her group?

"Have we enough salves at least?"

"We must have checked four times already, Inquisitor. I doubt they vaporized already."

She would have hated to admit it, but the idea of facing the dragon did not find her at all happy. Especially after her face to face with Corypheus' pet, though it had not even sniffed at her. The sheer size of that thing had been almost enough to make her want to give up. And now they were marching to find and provoke a perfectly peaceful one into battle. Was she surrounded by lunatics?

"Come on, Inquisitor! We'll be fine. Grumpy here will take all the blows and the fire breathing while we pick at it from a distance," Sera said as a way to reassure her, but somehow it didn't do much for her sense of dread to picture the Seeker in the maw of a giant dragon. It was true that she was a skilled fighter, but still.

"Her element is electricity," Cassandra corrected her. "I hope your affinity for it gives you some immunity from her attacks," she said to Evelyn. Now even the Seeker cracked jokes at her. She needed to seem ready for it or they'd never let her live that down.

As they got to the ridge overlooking the plain where the dragon had been last seen, Evelyn recognized the ruins that looked over the ditch where its nest had previously been. Cassandra held her by the arm and stopped her, watching the rest of the group walk past them.

“We’ll be fine, Inquisitor,” she said softly so as not to be overheard, her eyes boring into Evelyn’s. “Just keep your distance and it will be easier not to get hurt. I know how scary these beasts can be, but they go down just like everything else.”

Evelyn nodded, grateful for the encouragement.

"Yes! There she is!" Iron Bull exclaimed, starting the descent with large jumps without waiting for the others. The dragon was perched atop the tallest ruin; her majestic figure crouched like a cat. She turned her head in the group’s direction, giving Evelin the sense that she was waiting for them to make a move. The mage shivered at the thought that they would have to provoke the intelligent creature into battle.

"The oxman is going to ruin the plans," Vivienne commented with distaste.

"Hold it, Bull. We don't want to start before we are all ready!" Evelyn shouted. The qunari kept descending down the slope, only stopping at the base of the hill. The dragon kept watching. Evelyn kept an eye on her, hoping she would not start attacking before they were in position.

"Come on, slackers. It will be glorious, I can feel it," Iron Bull said, eliciting an excited answer from Sera and a grunt from Cassandra. They kept moving close to the ruins, where they could find at least some shelter when the dragon attacked. The beast had definitely taken notice and she took flight, circling over them. This time she would not find easy prey.

"I will draw her attention with Iron Bull. You find cover and keep your distance," Cassandra shouted, moving forward with the qunari and making loud noises with their gear. The dragon didn't make them wait long and landed nearly on top of them, the wind raising dust and pebbles from the ground. As the two warriors started hacking at the beast, the others stayed in relative safety and well spread. Evelyn was careful not to leave the barrier on the two expire while Vivienne concentrated on attacking the beast. It seemed to take forever, that dance of the sword fighters around the massive legs of the animal. 

The dragon began flapping its wings, creating a vortex that drew everyone to it. Evelyn could find nothing to hold on to and saw the animal appear bigger and bigger until she was almost in front of its mouth. She looked around in despair, finding her companions busy; panic made her unable to shout for help. The others had gotten close to the dragon as well, but it was she the dragon had laid eyes on. The vortex stopped and she backed off a few steps, dreading the moment its breath would burn her alive; she doubted her barrier could hold against such an attack at such a close distance. 

The dragon abruptly turned its head to the side, where Vivienne was hacking at its front leg with a magic attack Evelyn had already seen from her and recognized as part of the Knight Commander training, an ethereal sword that was dealing a great deal of pain to the dragon. She had successfully distracted the animal, but she was the one in danger now, since the others didn't seem to draw her attention as much. Evelyn did not know what to do. She went for an ice attack to its head, but the beast didn't seem to feel it. Its front leg rose to strike the Enchanter and Evelyn was sure she would not survive, but the skilled mage turned seemingly invisible under Evelyn's eyes, only to reappear a few seconds later in another place, far from the attack. Evelyn needed to learn all that. How had the Grand Enchanter not shared those skills with her? The dragon seemed confused for a moment and flailed his head around, looking for the offender. Right then Evelyn saw something so absurd she started to doubt her eyes. The two warriors had taken advantage of the dragon's distraction; Cassandra was on top of Iron Bull's shoulders, climbing on the dragon's back by holding onto his back scales. Stunned, Evelyn tried to keep the beast's attention forward so they could finish the maneuver. She put some distance between herself and the dragon, directing her attacks to the dragon's head; "Sera, unload faster! We need to keep her attention!"

The elf grunted in response, doing what Evelyn had asked. The mage's heart seemed about to burst from her chest when the Seeker appeared standing atop the dragon a few feet from the ground, walking to the base of the dragon's right wing. Maker, she hoped the dragon would not try to take flight! 

Vivienne was again at a safe distance and the beast kept dividing its attention between them, only to shriek in pain when the Seeker plunged her sword at the base of its wing. Evelyn kept looking with baited breath as the warrior had to hold onto her sword to avoid being thrown off. Iron Bull moved under the dragon's belly and started hacking at the base of its neck. It was becoming hard to keep attacking without risking hitting one of her companions. Evelyn stuck to her less damaging spells, at this point only hoping that they would all survive the encounter. She saw Cassandra manage to cut a long line along the animal's wing and use it to descend to the ground in relative safety. The dragon could not take flight and started to show signs of tiredness, her pained cries piercing Evelyn’s ears. It took still a while, but in the end the dragon’s head lowered enough that Iron Bull's sword could get to it; he pierced an eye embedding the sword to the hilt; the dragon reared her head abruptly causing the qunari to let go of the sword, then it fell, lifeless, with a ground shaking thud soon followed by the rest of the dragon’s body.

"Yeah! I killed a dragon!" Iron Bull roared, raising his arms to the sky.

Evelyn took a few deep breaths, her relief for the end of the battle making her giddy. She followed her companions to reunite with the others, but the scene before her eyes almost stopped her in her tracks. The Seeker was panting and sweaty, standing proud near the immense body of the dragon. Her fierce eyes swept the battlefield and when they settled on Evelyn her whole posture relaxed. The mage could understand now how she had inspired the many stories and illustrations that had sprung up after she had saved Divine Beatrix, tales that had reached even the Free Marches. Evelyn managed to avoid faltering at the sight, conscious that her pulse had picked up speed for reasons that had nothing to do with the battle just finished. She tried reminding herself how Cassandra’s behavior as of late left much to be desired. Meanwhile, her feet were leading her there while Sera enthusiastically ran to Iron bull to congratulate him. 

"You got me scared there," Evelyn confessed to the Seeker, who in return gave her a curious look.

"Why? It was not a particularly risky move."

Was she serious or had she become a joker all of a sudden? "Right. Of course. Not risky at all, silly me. It is only I who do the risky moves," she added, unable to keep from making the biting remark.

"Hey boss, did you see that? I cracked her head! I killed that thing!" Iron Bull interrupted. She smiled at him, who seemed almost like an overgrown child in that moment. "Great job, Bull. We'll have to drink to that!"

"Wait, what do you mean, you killed it?" Cassandra said with a piqued tone.

"What, you didn't see? It was my sword that killed the dragon."

"After all the work we did before. You can't..."

"Bah, you can't take defeat. Next time, try to kill it yourself and you can claim victory. If you can."

Cassandra seemed to pick the bait, her pride wounded. "Of course I can. I will show you next time. But the point is, we all did the work; the fact your sword finished it is irrelevant."

"I don’t mean to get your hopes down, but we don't even know if there will be a next dragon." And she really hoped they'd leave it be if there was.

"Good. Now that we are done, we should send someone to finish the job. I do not intend to skin this thing, Inquisitor."

"Why, but of course Lady Vivienne. And thank you for saving me earlier."

Vivienne waved her away. "It's what had to be done, do not thank me. I am glad we got this dragon. We should get some good armor and potions from it."

"Indeed." Hopefully enough that nobody thought of hunting down a second one.

* * *

"We must celebrate as soon as we get back to Skyhold," Bull said.

"I'm sure the Inquisitor will allow you to do something." 

He looked at her as if she'd sprouted a second head. "Who needs permission from the Inquisitor to celebrate?" He gave her a powerful pat on the back that made her grateful she had not eaten recently. "You and I, we did the most work on that beast. We should throw a party in the Herald's Rest, like good war buddies."

She narrowed her eyes. "War buddies?"

Iron Bull sighed. "I'm throwing you a bone here, Seeker. I have not forgotten the way you treated me in Skyhold, but I'm willing to get past it."

Cassandra remembered the episode, and to tell the truth, she was still of the same idea. But he was doing the sensible thing, wanting to share something and forget their differences. "I have nothing personal against you, Bull, but I stand by my words."

"As I do with mine. I think you are coddling the Inquisitor too much for her own good."

"Coddling? When have I ever done that?"

"You treat her like she's incapable of doing anything but be carried around. She's a good mage and can look after herself. You should encourage her if she wants to be more prepared. For some reason she seems to trust you a great deal."

For some reason? He made it sound like she had no reason to do so.

"I know she can. The point is, she should take the risks seriously, especially now that she's the Inquisitor."

"Fine. I see we can't get to an agreement on that. Anyway, is that a yes?"

She did not want to say yes. She would be forced to drink, something she did not like much, and she would be surrounded by intoxicated, loud people in close quarters on top of that. But if strengthening the team required it...

"Fine. I'll... join the celebration, at least for a while."

"Good. We'll let everyone know who is the mightiest in Skyhold. And then... some alcohol and a good wench to top the night off."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I am sure you will have a great time," though she could have done without that kind of information.

"You know, I wanted to get noticed by the Inquisitor, but... in all this time, I have not seen her take an interest in males at all. I guess I won't get lucky with her after all."

"You... what?"

"Don't be so shocked. The Inquisitor is a good looking woman besides everything else."

"I do know that, but... she’s the Inquisitor. You should not talk about her that way."

"What? You sure are strange. I'm showing interest, which is a good thing. Don't make it sound like I'm taking advantage of her."

"Is that why you agreed to train her back then? To have a shot at her?"

He laughed. "That was a good chance, of course, but no. I'm not that stupid. I tried to get her to drink with me, but she did not appreciate my company."

"I... I see. But why are you telling me all this?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "Maybe I thought you'd understand."

Cassandra felt her own cheeks light up, but she was relieved knowing her helmet would hide her reaction. She would have never considered that, in a way, they shared something. He did not need to know that, anyway; it was hard enough to acknowledge her soft spot for Evelyn in her own mind.

"I'd rather not talk about the Inquisitor's personal life."

"Suit yourself then."

* * *

Evelyn walked up the stairs of the smithy building where Cassandra had set up her quarters. She really could not understand why the woman insisted on living inside that rundown building instead of getting a proper room in the main wing of the fortress like most other people had done. It was certainly warmer than any other building, sure, but it was also full of dust, smelled like metal and coal and there was not even a real bed. People had tried getting Cassandra out of the place, but she had insisted to stay. She apparently preferred the scant accommodations to avoid getting too soft. Now what could be so important as to ask to see her as soon as possible? When she finished going up the creaky stairs, she found the woman sitting at her small table, on a chair that looked too small, the large book she had taken from Lord Seeker Lucius open, intent on reading it. She remembered when they had finally confronted the Lord Seeker. Betrayed, hurt, Cassandra had recognized his madness and put an end to his scheme. Too late for most of her former comrades, unfortunately. Cassandra's look when she had to end her former pupil's suffering was still haunting her.

"Cassandra?" She said to get her attention. "Did you need to talk to me?"

The Seeker looked up, but her expression looked troubled. "Yes, Inquisitor. Thank you for coming. I have something to tell you and... You won't like it."

Evelyn took the chair in front of the Seeker and sat. "What's this about Cassandra?"

She took a moment to collect her thoughts. "You know the book of secretes has been handed down from Lord Seeker to Lord Seeker since the beginning of the order. I have been reading it and... I found many troubling things in it. There are some things that have been kept secret for centuries even from us Seekers. I think it is time to bring things out in the open. No more lies."

"What kind of secrets, Cassandra?" Evelyn was a little on edge. The whole ordeal with the Seekers had ended in a tragedy. Another cult had taken the chance to spread their poison, drawing the Seekers to their deaths by means of none other than their master. Evelyn did not like the grim expression on Cassandra's face.

"It has been troubling for me to go through this book." She hesitated. "What finally started the rebellion was the discovery that the rite of tranquility could be reversed. The Lord Seeker at the time covered it up - harshly. There were deaths. It was dangerous knowledge. The shock of its discovery in addition to what happened in Kirkwall..." She paused, allowing Evelyn to catch up with the news. "But it appears the order has always known how to reverse the rite, from the beginning."

Evelyn didn't know what to say. Her mind was reeling at the implications.

"We created the rite of tranquillity," Cassandra continued. 

The rite every apprentice was terrified of, in every Circle. The rite that would be forced upon a mage that did not pass the Harrowing or as a punishment for the undesired. It was one of the reasons the Harrowing was so full of tension, the knowledge that one would not get out of it whole if one failed it. Evelyn suppressed a shiver. She knew the rite was sometimes applied without the right justification. Yet despite being able to reverse it, nobody had ever done anything to right those wrongs, and now many of the tranquil were dead.

Cassandra continued in front of Evelyn's unresponsiveness."To become a Seeker, I spent months in a vigil, emptying myself of all emotion. I was made tranquil, and did not even know. Then the vigil summoned a spirit of faith to touch my mind. That broke tranquility - and gave me my abilities. The Seekers did not share that secret. Not with me, not with the Chantry, not even with..."

The chair Evelyn had been sitting on became uncomfortable. And when did the air become so stifling? She stood and walked to the too narrow window. She felt just like that, inadequate, unable to change what she needed to. All this time the Lord Seekers had known how to reverse tranquility. They had created the rite. They had caused the riots to evolve, instead of mitigating the wrongs on mages. Now she was the Inquisitor, head of one of the most powerful forces in Thedas, and she still had no way to set things right for her brethren. She felt torn between wanting to blame Cassandra, the only member of the order she could get to, possibly one of the last in all of Thedas. On the other hand, she knew the woman had had no part in the deceit; no part in the orders the Seekers had been given. She had not created the rite. She wanted to make it right. But that was not enough.

"Lord Lucius was not wrong about the order," Cassandra said. "I thought to rebuild the Seekers once victory was ours. Now I'm not certain it deserves to be rebuilt. We cast aside ideals in favor of expedience and tell ourselves it was all necessary. For the people. Will that happen to us, Inquisitor? Will we repeat the past?" 

Evelyn did not reply. In her mind, she was certain the current Inquisition was not going to repeat the same errors, but that was the last of her troubles.

"My Lady..." Cassandra said, her footsteps tentatively advancing behind her.

"No," Evelyn said, unable to stand the sight of the woman. She should have done something. She was more than capable, had the heart to see how wrong things were. Why had it all come to this? Evelyn finally turned around, stared at Cassandra. She still didn't know if this woman was her friend, or something more, or an enemy altogether. The confusion in her head and heart made her need to leave and take a gulp of fresh air, the warmth of the furnaces suddenly suffocating. She walked past the Seeker, down the stairs and out in the open in a daze, walking back the path to her rooms without paying attention to those around her. On a whim she turned to the door to Josephine's office, finding her at her desk as always. Smiling, kind Josephine. She had no nasty surprises hidden from her.

"Inquisitor", she registered Josephine's voice calling her.

"I'm going to be unavailable this evening," Evelyn told her. "Please keep on hold matters that require me for the time being."

Josephine frowned. "I will, but... is something wrong? You look distressed."

Evelyn shook her head. "I just need to deal with something."

"Maybe a sympathetic ear could help?" Josephine stood from her desk and walked to Evelyn.

"I don't want to disrupt your work, Ambassador."

"Nonsense. I'm working so that your job can be easier. I'll catch up with my papers later."

* * *

"Cassandra" Leliana called from the entrance to the right wing of the building. "Have you seen the Inquisitor? She seemed to have disappeared this evening".  
Her friend looked contrite, which made Leliana suspect she had something to do with that. "What, don't tell me you two fought again?"

"It is my fault. I told her about the book of the Seekers. She did not take it well."

Leliana nodded. Now it all made sense. "What did you expect? That she would be happy about it?"

"Of course not. I just thought... I hoped she would be glad that I intended to reform the order."

"Instead she left you to suffer that alone. I know this knowledge is taking a toll on you, Cassandra." Evelyn sometimes was too focused on her cause to understand her companions needed her support too.

"I cannot blame her. I was involved in the order that created tranquility. I suppose she hates me now."

"I will talk to her. She needs a level head if we are to succeed. We cannot afford internal divisions."

"I'm sorry. I should have... no, keeping secrets is what ultimately ruined us. I will have to live with the consequences."

Leliana felt for her friend. She was trying to do her job, and was doing it excellently, but the Inquisitor needed to be more understanding. She had thought the two were getting pretty close lately. Maybe she had been wrong.

"I will see you tomorrow, Cassandra. Do not worry, we will fix this."

"Thank you Leliana."

The redhead moved in the now deserted hall in the direction of the Inquisitor's quarters instead of her own room. She needed to talk to the woman even though Cassandra didn't want her to. She walked the stairs to the Inquisitor's nest and thought she heard voices from within the quarters. Whoever Evelyn was entertaining would have to wait a little. She found the door unlocked and entered. "Inquisitor," she called to announce herself as she arrived at the landing. Evelyn was nestled in a woman's arms. She recognized Josephine, and her chest immediately burned with the uncomfortable feeling of jealousy. She had no right to be, nor did she know the two were close. How close they were really? She had noticed they spent time together, but had not noticed romantic interest on either side. Was she getting sloppy? Josephine had an arm around the Inquisitor's shoulder; Evelyn was burrowing on the ambassador's side. Clearly the news had hit her harder than she had thought. Whatever was she going to do about her? Josephine turned when she heard her voice and caught by surprise she moved from her position, as if caught doing something inappropriate. 

"Leliana!" She stood. "Do you need the Inquisitor? I can come back another time." 

Evelyn lazily looked at the visitor, her eyes sleepy. She didn't seem ready for the dressing down she'd had in mind. In fact, she seemed even more distraught than Cassandra. "There's no need, Josephine. I can come back tomorrow. I'm sorry I interrupted."

Josephine looked even more panicked. "Oh, no, you didn't interrupt anything."

"It's fine. If it is urgent, Leliana..." Evelyn said, her tone making it clear she was still uninterested in whatever she wanted to say.

"It is fine. Just remember we need to talk."

Leliana turned back to the stairs, under the eyes of the two. She felt the scene weird. Maybe they had a relationship and were trying to keep it under wraps. She'd have to find out, lest the Inquisitor do something stupid with the ambassador as well. As unpleasant as it was to think of Josephine with someone else, she at least needed to know that she'd be in good hands. The Inquisitor did not seem quite up to the task.

She walked back down the hall to access the wing with the rooms allocated for the inquisition members. A good job had been done to make them at least usable, but the quarters were still furnished with only the minimum elements making the rooms little more than cellars.

As she walked down the dark hallway leading to her room she passed in front of Josephine's door. Something white was protruding on the floor just out of it. A letter? Curiosity struck Leliana. Who could be sending personal letters and delivering them through the door like that? There were plenty of ways to give them to the ambassador in person. Looking back and forth she made sure there was nobody else around and went to retrieve the paper. It was unsigned, of course. A clandestine lover? She needed to make sure it was not something sinister. Knowing Josephine she would probably risk herself instead of asking for help. She opened the paper with great care and found the page written with a rather messy calligraphy. Hardly the work of someone of high station, but not someone who could not write altogether. Probably not one of the servants, then. Instead of keeping guessing she just read the letter. She did feel like she was intruding, but the reasoning that she was doing it in the interest of her friend kept her going. 

As she arrived to the end, she could not keep from getting enraged. This Warden had been writing to Josephine for a while, it was obvious from the wording, but the thing that irked her was that Josephine had been responding. "Your cherished words", "I look forward to your next letter". Why had Josephine not mentioned this? She thought they were good friends. And here went the last hopes that Josephine may one day come around and find an interest for herself... it had been a vain hope, and it was likely in the best interest of her friend not to, but it still embittered her. She would just need to make sure the man was not thinking anything stupid; she didn't want Josephine to be toyed with. She needed to pay the Warden a visit and soon. She put the letter back where she had found before retiring for the night.

* * *

Josephine had not come back to her room last night. She knew because she still slept with one eye open after all those years of dealing with assassins and various threats, and her room was right after the ambassador's. She was almost positive she and the Inquisitor were just friends, but still... At this point, maybe Evelyn was the better choice of the two involved. She had an uneasy feeling about that Warden that she could not quite place.

Josephine had not shown up at breakfast, so Leliana caught her after lunch and asked her to take a stroll in the garden that the Inquisitor had designated to grow herbs useful for potions. She rarely spent time there, almost always caught up with work in the rookery, and she enjoyed the rare times she could get the pleasant smells of flowers and enjoy a rare sunny day like that one. Josephine was silent the whole time they were getting there.

"So, Josephine, you didn't tell me..."

"What?"

"You and the Inquisitor, really?" It was a long shot, but she should get some information that way. Josephine went bright red in the blink of an eye.

"No, no, Leliana, you misunderstood. I... the Inquisitor is just a friend and last night she needed a friendly face, that's all."

"Are you sure? You two looked pretty cozy from where I was standing."

"A-absolutely! Why, Leliana, the Inquisitor has never expressed any... Why am I even... Look, even if it were, it's none of your business, really."

That stung. "I didn't mean to offend. I was surprised that you would not tell me anything about it."

"That is because there is nothing to talk about."

Nothing to talk about. Those letters to the Warden would seem proof to the contrary, yet her friend did not wish to talk about it. Something did not add up. Was Josephine thrilled by the idea of a secret lover or something?

"I'm sorry. Forget I even asked, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."

Josephine relaxed. "Thank you. By the way, something terrible has happened and I'm not sure what to do. Maybe you could give me some suggestion?"

"Something terrible? What is it Josephine? Are you in danger?"

"I suppose I could be. I have been looking for ways to re-establish my family's trade in Val Royeaux. You know how we have been shut out of Orlais a long time ago?"

"Yes, I recall. What about it?"

"I had the contracts ready to allow my family to trade again, but my couriers were killed and the contracts destroyed."

"That is terrible. Do you have any idea who could have been?"

"No. The Du Paraquettes have lost the status they once had and should be no threat anymore. I cannot imagine who could want to hit my family so bad that they would kill people to prevent us from getting to Val Royeaux again."

"We should investigate this. When did it happen?"

"A few weeks ago. A courier arrived yesterday to tell me this."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Does the Inquisitor know?"

"No. I didn't want to involve the inquisition in this, but... I do not know how to handle this if assassins are involved."

"We should talk to Evelyn. She'll want to help. Do not worry; we'll get to the bottom of this."

"I hope so. I really want to restore my family's fortune. Our business could be so much better if we could trade with Orlais once again."

* * *

Evelyn kicked the displaced pebbles in the newly built garden set up in Skyhold. She had decided to have people grow herbs there, so they could have a more steady flow of potions made. Leliana had paid her a visit earlier - it had not been pleasant. She had been shaken since Cassandra's revelations and her ability to concentrate had suffered. Leliana had made it clear that she would consider her less than dirt if she did not apologize to the Seeker. For the past few hours, she had tried to come to terms with that. Postponed after a meeting, after having written a letter, after the opening of the garden... The day was coming to an end and she still had not done it. The resentment she still felt was for the Order, she knew that now. Admitting it was another matter. A door slammed closed, admitting Leliana into the gardens. She met her look, stern and displeased. Evelyn sighed. It was time to own up to her mistakes. She walked out of the gardens into the courtyard, looking up to the walkways on the outer walls. She could have sworn she had seen Cassandra there before. She decided to go through the tavern and go up from there. On her way she was met with the too cheerful face of Sera. She had likely been up to something, knowing her fondness for pranks. Evelyn suspected she had too much time on her hands. Maybe assign her to kitchen duty when they were not on mission? No, that would make all the kitchen personnel mad at her. 

"Hey, Inquizzies, whassup?"

"It's uh, alright I guess."

"Have ya seen how gloomy Grumpy has gotten? I mean, she was before, but now... it's like, wow, much more. Ya got anything to do with that?"

"I suppose... no, I can't be. I mean, I didn't..." Sera was always so confusing.

"Yeah you better not because I'll kick your ass good, Inquizzy or not. She's a fine piece of woman, that one. You bed her already?"

"What?" She could not believe she had been asked that. 

"I can see you have a taste for the Seeker, ya know? I'm not blind or anything."

"So why don't you go for it yourself if you like her so much?" Now that was a bad idea, she realized as soon as the words left her mouth. Why would she even suggest such a thing to Sera? And what if Cassandra really could be interested in the elf? She had never entertained the idea, but it made her uncomfortable. She just needed to find the Seeker and get things over with.

"I would, but she doesn't know me from a hole in the ground. You, on the other hand... Really, you two didn't... I can't understand people."

"Sooo sorry to hear that" Evelyn said slowly. At that moment she felt she could not understand people either. Now that the elf had lost interest in her she could resume her search for the Seeker. She should not be surprised that Sera had set her eyes on Cassandra, but to suggest that... just because she had looked? Well, it was not like the thought had not crossed her mind, but she doubted the Seeker had done the same. 

She found the object of her search pacing the walkways alone, looking out at the vast expanse of mountains that surrounded Skyhold. Up there it was even colder than in the sheltered courtyard that at least blocked some of the piercing winds. Cassandra noticed her approach and stilled herself, waiting for her to get close.  
Evelyn stopped beside the Seeker, looking out in the same direction. "I wanted to talk to you, if you don't mind." Right now she didn't feel so certain the other woman would want to. She had treated her like a criminal these past days and Leliana had been right to complain. 

"Of course not," came the terse reply. It was not going to be easy, Evelyn could tell. In fact, producing an acceptable apology right then seemed less preferable than going to battle against Red Templar Horrors.

"Look, I just wanted to..." She sighed. "I have been unfair to you." Cassandra turned and looked at her with surprise written on her face. "I realize it must have been hard for you to come to terms with what was written in that book. And sharing with me must have been even harder."

The Seeker didn't answer, instead looking back to the dimming scenario. Evelyn braced herself on the wall, trying to find the right words to finish. "I am sorry. I was overtaken by my own powerlessness. You were just a convenient target in the absence of the real culprits." There, she had said it. Cassandra nodded but didn't speak for a while.

"I couldn’t blame you for reacting that way. In fact, I even suspected you would... but I could not keep it to myself. I do not want to keep transmitting this error. Can you understand that?"

Evelyn nodded, waiting for the other to continue.

"You know I left the order. I left it not just because we needed to found the Inquisition, I left it because at that point it was not abiding to the aims it had. It was not serving the people anymore, like the Templars had left the Chantry. I could not stand it, though it broke my heart to leave something in which I believed, whose principles I shared."

"I am sorry about that. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been." She realized she had been an insensitive moron, but what could she do? She had her own qualms and Cassandra had been equally insensitive when confronted with them. 

"I am... recovering. Now the weight of the tome rests on me, and I have the chance to do something about it. I could gather the remaining Seekers, discuss things with them. I want to make this information available."

"Are you sure? It could garner you and your people a lot of hate if the information spreads beyond the Chantry."

"I see no other way. Secrets have caused too much harm. I do not want to perpetrate that system. I could help rebuild the Seekers, make them something more honest and direct them through a better path for the good of everyone."

"That is a very noble idea, Cassandra. I couldn't think of anyone better than you to do this. You will get all the support you need."

Cassandra scrutinized her to see if she was being serious. "I thank you. Are you sure about that? I know what you think of my order."

"I do not think ill of your order in itself, Cassandra. It's the people who do wrong things. I think the Chantry should be reformed too, and I am hoping in the next Divine to succeed where Most Holy could not. A system of checks could only benefit all parties involved. I am not naive enough to think that in the near future the Circles will be done away with."

"You are very reasonable."

"I can be. I surprise even myself sometimes," Evelyn joked. "I know mine is more like a utopia. Most people simply cannot see a different treatment for mages... I know you don't. I do not want to give up hope just because for now I don't have to fear spending the rest of my life in a Circle."

"It is a very noble intent, my Lady. I wish for you to succeed in that."

Evelyn felt like a weight had been removed from her chest. "Maybe we can be friends, after all."

Cassandra smiled at her. "I would like that."

* * *

She knew it would be an unpopular decision, but she could not stand the idea of her friend getting hurt just because she was too noble to really protect herself. She just needed the Inquisitor's cooperation. Surely she would understand the need for a swifter response than Josephine's long term plan, not to mention that plan would get her into debt even more with a number of favors to owe to who knew how many nobles. They could not afford that. She found Evelyn in her quarters, alone this time, bent on a table looking at some maps. The Western Approach, from she could glean. No doubt she was trying to come up with a good understanding of the area where the Wardens were supposedly organizing something. The woman was so absorbed by her work that she did not even realize Leliana was in the room. She cleared her voice to make her presence known. Evelyn looked up in surprise.

"Leliana! I didn't hear you come in."

"I noticed."

"Is something wrong?"

"Not yet, but it could be."

Evelyn frowned, not understanding. Leliana continued, "I know of Josephine's plan to deal with the House of Repose. It is too risky, Inquisitor. We should take the matter into our own hands."

"So you suggest to go behind Josephine's back and do things your way? I thought we had already agreed to let her handle that."

"You know my plan is the better one. I hate having to hide things from her, but her stubbornness could get her killed. I don't think either of us wants that."

Evelyn sighed. She hated having to reconsider her own decisions, but Leliana was right. 

"I trust you already know what to do?"

Leliana smirked. "I have a plan. It will not be very risky. Best case, my operatives will get in and destroy the document."

"And the worst case?"

"Worst case, we may lose some of the agents. I trust them to be able to carry out the task anyway."

"What if they all die or get captured? That would put us in a bad spot."

"With a house of assassins? I think we could handle that. It's not like we are breaking into Empress Celene's estate."

Evelyn considered the plan. She was uncomfortable with the potential consequences should the agents be discovered, but she agreed that taking action was better than waiting for the House of Repose to make an attempt on Josephine's life.

"You are really worried about Josephine, aren't you? All right, go through with the plan. Just take every precaution so that our reputation does not get tarnished should something go wrong."

"I will."

Leliana's relief was palpable. It was good to see Leliana's more human side. She and Josephine must be really good friends.


	12. Chapter 12

Josephine's words of warning had seemed so exaggerated when she had heard them, that she had refrained from laughing out loud only because they were surrounded by very attentive ears. But as the evening unfolded, she was realizing more and more how true those words were. After the initial impression of the large palace, the rich ornaments and the luxurious clothes the other guests were wearing, she could start to see the subtle web of traps and manipulations that was going on behind the facade. It was a game as exciting as it was terrifying, and some people were really thriving at it. As she walked around, trying to mingle with other guests and find precious information about who the assassin could be, she recalled her younger self and how a soiree like this one would have been her dream come true. The banquets organized by her family, though attended by notable families, could not hold a candle to the current event, hosted by none other than the Empress of Orlais. She managed to descend the stairs leading in front of the Empress without stumbling and even say some words that didn't condemn the Inquisition to obliteration. Now that the worst had passed, she was moving from room to room in search of other clues as to who the assassin might be. The other members of the inquisition were scattered, looking for information as well, but Evelyn's mind returned to the dashing figure Cassandra cut in the stock red uniform that all had been condemned to wear. Too bad they were not there to enjoy themselves or she would have liked a dance with the Seeker. Nevermind that she seemed repelled by the mind games the guests liked to play. Evelyn resigned herself to just working that night. That and sampling the fine Orlesian foods and wines that were being served.  
She regretted having spent her adult life in the seclusion of the Circle, for now she was at great disadvantage in the game despite her origins.  
"I have to say, my dear, I was impressed."  
"Oh?" Vivienne was mingling with nobles like she had always belonged with them - and it was true. The woman was in her element, despite her being so gracious even when traveling in the most inhospitable places. If she were not so insufferable Evelyn might admit to admiring her a little.  
"You managed not to get us all thrown out and even got us some benevolence. I was not expecting such good results, but you must be a natural at these things. Well done."  
Still trying to handle her part well, Evelyn smiled and suppressed her instinct that wanted her to throttle the woman. "Thank you, Lady Vivienne. I am glad I am not disappointing you." Bile was threatening to rise as she pronounced the words, but this was as good practice as any.  
"It is not me you must think of, my dear. The stakes are high, and you doing well might allow us to go back to Skyhold without losing powerful allies, at the very least."  
"I will watch my words at all times. If you'll excuse me." She took her leave, wandering through the crowd and feeling sicker by the minute. Life in the circle had changed her so much that now something that would have excited her instead made her want to simply retreat to a dark corner and sleep. She decided to stick to finding useful gossip from the guests and finding the would-be assassin of the Empress so they could all go home as soon as possible.

Later, Evelyn leaned on the balustrade enjoying the cool breeze of the night. The celebrations were still going inside, even after the gruesome combat that had taken place just minutes before. The empress was safe and had invited everyone to continue, no doubt glad to have escaped death and to have gained a powerful ally in the same night. Despite the advisors’ suggestions, Evelyn didn't feel like putting the empress down just to let some other rabid player gain the throne. They all, and that included Celene, gave her the creeps. The ball had been exciting at first, mainly because she had attended few in her youth but never as an adult. Now that she had experienced the game, though, she felt exhausted by it. Maybe it was for the best that she had not been destined to attend to the same events as those people. She had managed to avoid diplomatic incidents, and that was what counted most.  
She turned to look at the ballroom through the open door, where many were engaged in a dance she was not familiar with. Her knowledge of current arts and customs was sorely lacking, but she envied the simple joy of those couples who seemed to forget everything that was going on around them and were enjoying themselves. She thought how fetching the Seeker was in her uniform that night and wished the woman had asked her to dance. Instead the Seeker's mood had been despondent all evening since she despised all the ceremony, deceit and empty gestures and had been pestering her to find the conspirators and call it a day.  
"Inquisitor" Josephine called. She walked to the balcony and leaned on it besides Evelyn. "Are you all right? You don't look like someone who single handedly saved the soirée, not to mention the empress' life."

"I am quite tired. This night has been draining, and we ended up in a bloodbath as usual." She sighed. "Is it all there is? We can hardly go a few days without having to fight. And now the people love us, if nothing else because we animated their fête."

"I am sorry you feel that way, Inquisitor. You managed to do so much tonight, you should be glad. This success has gained us much support, though the motives might be questionable."

"I know, you are right."

Josephine stood silent for a while, contemplating the peaceful gardens below. Evelyn observed her profile. She was a very attractive woman and they suited each other very well. Maybe she should try to pursue her, but at the very moment she formulated the thought, the image of another woman came to her mind. Willing or not, the Seeker had been carving a place in her heart all along, and now Evelyn was finding it hard to think of another woman, even one as desirable as Josephine. She could still try to get her out of her mind though, and maybe with time she could give her attention to someone who actually wanted it.

"Can I do something for you, Inquisitor? I don't know a drink perhaps?" Josephine inquired. Evelyn smiled at the kind gesture and then had an idea. She could not have a dance with the partner she wanted, but she didn't want to leave having danced only with the traitor of the empire. "Would you grant me this dance, Ambassador?" she said extending her hand with a playful smile.

The other woman was taken by surprise, but quickly recovered. "Why, Inquisitor, of course I would," she replied in kind and offered her elbow to the mage. From the ballroom came a tune she recognized and could to remember how to dance. A few lessons with scout Harding before the ball had helped her brush off her dancing skills, so she could manage not to make the ambassador look too bad. It took her some time to realize that Josephine was expecting her to lead, something she had never practiced; after a few embarrassing moments, she adjusted her stance and led the dance, Josephine’s bright eyes and smile calming her anxiety about her faux pas.

“I did not realize you liked to dance, Inquisitor. You are quite good at it.”

“For someone who never practiced, you mean?” Evelyn laughed. “I used to like dancing, yes. I’ve never had the chance to practice in a lot of time, however. It’s good to let go and have some fun despite the circumstances.”

“Indeed. You deserve to relax a little, especially with what you managed to accomplish tonight.”

Evelyn stared in Josephine’s eyes. Her face was even more charming now with her warm smile, but she still failed to elicit any feeling other than friendly affection. She thanked the Maker anyway for having brought her such a wonderful friend.

* * *

Cassandra was so sick of the ball that she was ready to down a pint of wine just in the hopes of being knocked out.   
The laughing vapid women and the poisonous men that surrounded her all seemed a surreal representation of humanity, made all the more so by the stupid masks they wore. She walked through the bodies of the nobles, dressed like circus monkeys and with perfumes so strong they made her ill. Cullen was still fending off suitors, Leliana was enjoying herself gathering dirty secrets and she could find no one who deserved a thorough beating - that she could get away with, at least. She was almost positive that the majority of the guests in the palace were guilty of horrible acts in the name of the game. Ceremonies like this one were the thing she had hated the most while in the service of Divine Justinia, but at least in her position she was not required to actually entertain those people. 

She stopped and looked around the room, the lights casting an orange gloom to the occupants; the golden decorations glinting off the light. A man with a funny looking hat and even more ridiculous dress, as was custom in Orlais with pants flaring out of his boots, was coming her way purposefully. She stood her ground, giving him the most murderous expression she could muster. She’d already had her share of entertaining some of these buffoons, one of them boring her about the ways to discern a good wheel of original Orlesian cheese from cheap knockoffs made by unscrupulous merchants; she’d been patient only because Leliana had asked nicely, but enough was enough. Her strategy seemed to work, for he seemed to hesitate and come to a halt before changing his course altogether, much to her relief. Her kinship with the Pentaghasts was not helping matters, but she had managed to ditch most of the people who had tried to pester her. As she walked aimlessly, she realized she had lost sight of Evelyn a while ago and wondered where she had gone. She had noticed the Inquisitor had not seemed all too happy after the speech from the Empress. Cassandra would have liked to replace Celine with the more practical Gaspard, but she hoped her brush with death would make her more sensible to the situation of Thedas from then on. She moved amidst the crowd, looking for Evelyn. She would not mind spending some time with the mage, especially if she did not intend to mingle with the crowd any longer.   
Spotting a balcony that didn't seem crowded, she took a peek outside, only to find it occupied with two dancers. Two women. Ambassador Montyliet. And the Inquisitor. She remained frozen on the spot, trying to figure out what was happening. The two seemed to be having fun; totally oblivious to what was happening in the ball room, laughing and waltzing in the small space available, Josephine’s hands latched behind Evelyn’s neck. She turned around, not knowing how to handle what she had seen, but all too aware of the burning feeling in her chest. Was there something between the two? She had never noticed... But of course, she never noticed that kind of thing. The two did spend time together, she was aware of that, but she had never had inkling that there was something more. She took a few steps away and stopped, unsure what to do.  
“Lady Pentaghast, would you grant me this…”  
“No,” she barked to the bowing noble, startling him. She had not even seen him approach. The pain in her heart had to be squashed, so she intercepted the first waiter who was carrying some wine goblets before she found a name for it. Grabbing a glass from the elf, she downed it in a few gulps and felt light headed in a short time. Good. Thank the Maker she did not handle alcohol well or she would have needed a lot more.  
Her eyes focused on the Empress’ occult advisor, who was moving amidst the crowd. The woman was suspicious, though Evelyn had been fast to trust her. Might as well keep an eye on that one for the time being.

* * *

"I know what you said. I understand, but I cannot just leave. The Inquisition's job is too important to leave it to get to your conclave." Cassandra had to give it to this Revered Mother, she was quite persistent. Unless the Inquisitor said something, however, she would not just up and leave, even if she technically was not even a member of the Inquisition.  
"I hope you will see reason, Seeker. We need you and the left hand for the conclave. We need to get a new Divine in place as soon as we can or the Chantry will crumble."  
Cassandra grunted. She had a point, but she was not one of the members of the Chantry. They could not guilt her into participating to the conclave. Besides, she knew it would be full of snakes, and she'd rather face a squad of Venatori than well dressed, two-faced politicians. She was somewhat relieved that the Inquisitor herself was approaching.  
"Mother? I thought I had made it clear earlier. We cannot spare Lady Pentaghast nor Sister Nightingale at this point. They are crucial to the success of our operations. Surely you want Thedas safe at least as much as you want to see a new divine?"  
"O-of course, your Worship. We are all concerned about this Corypheus and..."  
"Then you will understand why you will have to decide a new Divine by yourselves."  
The Mother was not pleased, but she bowed her head in acknowledgement. "I hope we will both accomplish our tasks successfully." she said before leaving.  
Cassandra sighed. "Thank you, Inquisitor. I could not stand her insistence for much longer." Evelyn grinned "I figured that much. You seemed to be suffering, so I decided to help you out before we had to explain the mysterious disappearance of a Revered Mother in Skyhold."  
"Yes, well. The thought did cross my mind. I find it so strange that I and Leliana would be asked this. Once, nobody would have given a thought about us joining the conclave. But now we are candidates for the sunburst throne? It's almost unthinkable. What do you think?"   
"Well, it's certainly unusual, but I'm sure you or Leliana would make good divines."  
"You think?"  
"You certainly have none of the hidden purposes most other candidates would have. Unless you have a secret thirst for power that I somehow missed so far?" she joked.  
"Of course not. But we never participated in official matters. If they are turning to us, the candidates left must not be very palatable."  
"I suppose." Evelyn paused. “The Chantry failed us all. Maybe it’s time to let it go.”  
Cassandra did not anticipate such strong words against the Chantry from the Inquisitor of all people. “It may not be perfect, but it’s a source of hope and solace for many. The new divine has the chance to bring it back to its true meaning. I think it’s worth working on it.”  
The words that came next completely lacked the warmth that had been present earlier. "Look, if you want to try and be elected, I will support you. I just want to be sure that it's something you really want."  
She was surprised that Evelyn had been seriously considering her candidacy. She herself had only vaguely imagined it. Herself as the new divine? She supposed she could do good things, but... was it really for her? She was sure it was something more suited for Leliana, though her reforms would be so outrageous that she would be likely to run into problems from the get go.  
"I am not sure, Inquisitor. I will have to think about it."   
Evelyn’s face was still stony. "Very well. I will also ask Leliana the same question, just so you know. I will support whoever wins if it's any of you two."  
"I appreciate that."  
“Of course, for the time being we have other things to worry about.”  
She could not figure out why Evelyn suddenly seemed so despondent despite her being supportive with her words. Was she worried she'd lose her or Leliana before they defeated Corypheus? She should know better than worry about that.

* * *

Evelyn managed to fend off the attacking darkspawn with a cone of fire, making it easy for Sera to pick them off with her arrows. She coughed, fighting the reaction to puke; it was not a good time to feel ill. She could never see where the elf took position, but she was sure she was guarding her back at all times, though in the darkness of the cave visibility was limited. The elf was resourceful though she still stayed at arm's length from her whenever the subject of magic came up. The stench of the darkspawn’s decaying flesh was compounded by the acrid smell of it burning, but covering her mouth did not help in the small space in which they were fighting. Darkspawn were coming out of a few collapsed tunnel entrances on the Storm Coast, but with the presence of Venatori in the area she had wondered if their appearance was related. Shouts coming from the depth of the cave alarmed her. The rest of her party was there dispatching more darkspawn, but she and Sera had been separated from them by a bunch of poisonous spiders that had come out of some hidden crevice; there were a few more before she could join the others and find out what happened, but her heart was pounding in her chest, since the voice had seemed Cassandra's.   
"What's going on there?" She shouted, hoping the sounds of the fight would not drown her voice completely. She could hardly see a few paces from her, much less make out what happened in the back of the cave. More sounds of fighting came from there, and some panicked shouts that called the Seeker.   
"Dammit, stupid spiders, die!" Sera shouted, firing her arrows with uncanny speed. As soon as they were done, the elf took off running to the rest of the group, Evelyn on her tail. She arrived just in time to see Blackwall behead a hurlock. "What happened? Where is Cassandra?"  
Blackwall wiped his front, panting. "She shouted and fell. I could not see her; I was too busy trying not to die."  
"She's here" Iron Bull replied emerging from the shadows with an unconscious Seeker in his arms. "Let me take her out of this cave."  
"Maker! Please hurry!" Evelyn let the qunari walk in front of her and followed him out, hoping the Seeker did not have extensive injuries. She was the closest thing to a healer they had, the other mages being in a different group to close another entrance, but she still had not finished her training to take care of serious wounds. For the first time in years she prayed fervently to the Maker for someone other than herself.  
Iron Bull laid the body on the grass outside of the cave. Cassandra was still not moving, but now Evelyn could see the blood that matted Cassandra's head and a new wave of panic hit her, turning her limbs to jelly.   
Sera brushed her aside and kneeled beside the Seeker, taking her water pouch and using it to clean the wound, turning her head carefully aside to try to see its extent. She looked up after noticing that blood was still coming out.   
"Would you help me out?” she growled in Evelyn’s direction, “can't you do one of those magicky things you do?" She was right to be angry, cause Evelyn had been completely frozen at the sight of the motionless Seeker; the elf’s words allowed her to recover control of her limbs. She moved to the other side of the Seeker, summoning her magic to try and assess the wound. It did not seem the only problem afflicting the Seeker; she looked at the woman and found a bleeding wound on her arm, and considering they had been fighting darkspawn that could signify the Seeker had been plagued. Trying to take one problem at a time, she concentrated on the head injury, but she quickly found that her magic was not strong enough for that. All she could do was try a slow mend on the tissues, and even that would take her ages, possibly causing problems for a real healer down the way. "Sera, she has a wound on her arm. Can you take care of that?" The elf nodded, working on it immediately, and she could concentrate again to try and at least stop the bleeding.  
"Will she wake up?"  
"I... I do not know, Bull. I will try to stop the bleeding, but we should get the scouts to find Vivienne. We need her to take a look at Cassandra as soon as possible."  
"I'll take care of that" he replied and moved away. Blackwall remained on guard should more darkspawn appear. There was still the opening to take care of. She tried not to worry about that and give the Seeker her undivided attention, using her magic to weave back the woman's tissues.  
At some point, she lost sense of the time passed; her arms were trembling so much that she could hardly keep them up, but at last the bleeding seemed to have stopped. The afternoon was turning to evening, and when she looked around she found Iron Bull waiting patiently. She had not even heard him return. Sera was looking expectantly at her. "How is she?"  
Evelyn hated that she could not give a definite answer, but the extent of her abilities still did not allow her to assess such a head wound. "She should be stable for now. We need to take her to camp. Have the scouts gone out?"   
"They have. I'll take the Seeker to camp so we are ready when Vivienne returns," Iron Bull said.  
"Can the scouts depart tonight?" Blackwall asked him.  
"They could, but I'm not sure it's a good idea."  
"What are you talking about? We are all going back." Evelyn said.  
"We are? But Inquisitor, there are more reports of darkspawn to take care of in the area. We cannot..." Blackwall reasoned. Darkspawn. The area was so sparsely populated that nobody but theirs scouts would likely notice.  
"I... we can't just abandon her... she needs medical care as soon as..." She could not take the idea that some stranger would be responsible to take her back to the mountains without her present. How could she trust them?  
"The scouts will be faster, and we are needed here. I know you are worried, but we cannot risk having more people die at the hands of the darkspawn."  
"And we cannot risk losing Cass... a precious member of the Inquisition. What if she needs more healing during the trip? What if the scouts are not capable of handling it?"  
"Inquisitor, if anyone can get her to safety fast, it's the scouts. They can handle it. Or are you saying that you don't trust your own people?" Blackwall insisted. He didn't understand. Evelyn was terrified and just wanted to be able to keep an eye on Cassandra. She couldn't bear the thought of sending her off and then not know about her condition for weeks. And what if she needed more healing when they were en route? Evelyn glanced at the Seeker, her pale features still. She brought a hand to her mouth, eyes starting to tear up, throat closing. She couldn't die, could she? The Maker wouldn't... Maybe she should send Vivienne so she could keep an eye on her condition.  
"Hey, we need to move her, now!" Sera shouted, seeing everyone else uncertain. Iron Bull shook his head, moved past the Inquisitor and gently picked Cassandra up, carrying her with ease. "Come on, the camp is not far." He started marching, followed by Sera. As Evelyn was starting to go as well, Blackwall stopped her. "Inquisitor."  
"What?" she said curtly.  
"The hole. We must close it or more darkspawn will come out."  
The hole! She had completely forgotten about it. She took a last look to the companions that were already moving and tried to bring her mind back to the task they were supposed to accomplish, grateful for Blackwall’s patience with her. She entered the cave again, following the Warden who moved carefully to make sure there were no more creatures inside. It was quiet at last; Evelyn found the collapsed area and with a quick spell managed to move a pile of rocks into it, blocking the exit. "There. Let's move on. I've had enough of this place."

She walked to the camp as fast as she could and found the scouts were preparing to move, removing tents and packing things. Sera was helping make a gurney so that the Seeker could make the trip in relative comfort, but it was Vivienne's sight that calmed Evelyn a little. She didn't dare interrupt her while she worked; she knew keeping concentration was critical, and the sheen of sweat on her forehead made her think that it was a difficult task she was performing. The Seeker not waking up was what worried Evelyn, and she was frustrated at her own inability to do more. She could not always rely on others to do what she could not, and as a mage she felt her duty to complete her training as a Knight Enchanter so she could handle this kind of situation better.  
She spotted scout Harding moving about. "Harding. Who are you sending back to Skyhold?"  
The dwarf looked puzzled. "I will be going with my usual team. We were done here anyway."  
"Good. You will have Vivienne go with you. Will you still be able to make a good time?"  
The dwarf’s look softened, understanding Evelyn's question. "I suppose we can, if Lady Vivienne can make some sacrifices to her comfort."  
"Very well. I suppose."  
Was there really no other way? She had an obligation to the Fereldans who lived in the area; the Inquisition was supposed to protect the lands they were scouting, but Cassandra deserved better than a hasty trip. Yet she herself could do nothing more for her and could not take her back to Skyhold. It was tearing her apart, but she knew she had to close the other caves or more innocents would die. But if something happened to Cassandra...  
"We are all ready, Inquisitor." Harding announced. "As soon as lady Vivienne gives the word, we will depart."  
Evelyn turned to look at the dwarf, then at the Seeker that was still under the care of the enchanter. It took another hour for Vivienne to be finished and when she stood with effort it was apparent that the endeavor had taken a toll on her energy levels. "She should live. She must have cracked her skull on a rock when she fell, despite the helmet. I have mended it, but it must keep receiving care in case something swells in the next few days. I'm afraid we won't know if she'll wake up for a while."  
"What do you mean, we won't know? Did you not say she'll live?"  
"I mean that if everything goes well she will wake up in probably a couple of days. We need to watch for infection. I did all I could, but completely mending bone like that is too much even for me."  
Evelyn passed a hand on her face, pacing back and forth because her nerves would not let her stay still. This was not supposed to happen. Cassandra had to wake up. She walked to her and knelt, taking a hand in her own. They would be departing now, and she only had this chance to try and give some strength to the woman. She would probably not hear anything she said, but she had to say something, for herself as much as for her friend. "They will take care of you. You'll be all right, Vivienne will help, but you must fight... You always do, and I expect nothing less from you but complete victory. I know you can make it." Her voice trembled and she sighed, her eyes filling with tears she would not shed here in front of her people. She needed to appear strong. A last squeeze to Cassandra's hand and she stood. "Be fast. Send word as soon as you can," she ordered Harding with voice as steady as she could make it.

* * *

Cassandra woke up in an unfamiliar place. Last thing she knew she was fighting darkspawn in a cave in the Storm Coast, but this one did not seem one of the wooden huts that were commonplace in that area. Her throat was parched and her head hurt; her back was also stiff as she tried to sit, quickly changing her mind when her head started pounding.   
“Maker, what the…” she whispered to herself, taking deep breaths in response to the spike in pain levels. When her eyes could focus again she studied the room, as much as her condition allowed without turning around too much. The walls were definitely those of a more solid structure than a cabin in the woods. She remembered taking a hit to the head as she fell from a Hurlock’s shield bash, but after that it was all black. Her strength was gone too. How long had she been sleeping?  
"Oh, you are awake. You should not try to get up yet," a friendly voice from outside her field of view said. When the woman appeared in front of her, she recognized Skyhold's surgeon and understood. She must have slept longer than she thought.   
"How did I get here? What...?"  
"Hush, all these questions! You took a nasty blow to the head, you know? If it weren't for your friends you'd be a goner. Now lay down a bit, you have been asleep for two weeks." The woman pushed gently to make her comply. Two weeks! She wondered if the others had come back as well. Maybe they had finished up there on the coast. Otherwise why would she be here?  
"Here, drink some water. I'll bet you are thirsty." The surgeon helped her raise her shoulders and pressed a cup to her lips. Cassandra welcomed the fresh liquid that was trickling down her throat, giving her instant relief, though her head started pulsating with pain for the effort. "Not too much. You must take things easy for now." She removed the cup and let her ease down again. "Someone has been here to watch over you the entire time, you know? I'm sure your friend will want to know you are awake. If you promise to stay put I'll go get her right away."  
Evelyn? It must have been Evelyn. She was warmed at the thought that she had been worried about her. "Fine," she conceded. She was glad at the idea of seeing the mage and maybe get some news as well. When the surgeon left, she looked around the room, though she had to avoid sudden movements. She touched the top of her head where a bandage was wrapped. The area was a little painful to the touch, but she suspected her discomfort had a lot to do with having been still for some time. It was not the first time she got a serious injury, but the woman had made it sound like she was alive only because a mage had healed her. When she heard the door open her pulse accelerated. She was eager to see Evelyn, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to her. In front of her appeared Grand Enchanter Vivienne with a pleased smile. "You finally came back to us, my dear. We were getting a little worried." Crestfallen, Cassandra looked behind her, hoping Evelyn was going to show up, but clearly that was not the case.  
"Thank you. I suppose you took care of me?"  
Vivienne waved her away as if it was not a big deal. "I did, but so did our surgeon and a few more medics. Not that there was much to take care of, once your bones were mending. It has been my pleasure, of course."  
"What about the others?"  
"They stayed in the Storm Coast to finish getting rid of the darkspawn. They should be back any day now."  
"Oh." What had she been expecting?. The Inquisitor had better things to do than stop an important mission because she had been clumsy enough to fall head first on some rocks.

* * *

She was getting restless, having to stay in the infirmary when she had recovered enough to at least go back to her quarters. It may not be much, but at least it was warmer there. Vivienne, true to her word, had been seeing her every day for the past few days, commenting on how she was looking better and better. She hated the concoctions she was made to drink, but it seemed that they were working. She had probably recovered enough that she could go back to some mild work. She would take it up with the surgeon when she came back. Surely she would agree that she was healed enough to be dismissed.   
She kept leafing through a book she'd had delivered to her. It was an arid treatise on the findings of Brother Genitivi, and she could hardly read for any length of time without getting drowsy, but she'd not had the courage to have her copy of Varric's serial brought to her. What would people think? So she accepted the tome offered to her by the enchanter and tried to make the most of what she was reading. It came as a surprise that deep in the desert there was a giant statue of Andraste, but apparently it was a very hard to reach place.

"I don't care, take it away. I'll be back soon," a woman shouted from just outside the door. It didn't seem the surgeon's voice... Evelyn? She shut her book just before the door opened, admitting a breathless Inquisitor whose ruffled hair were matted with frost, her cheeks and nose red from the cold. Even in that condition, Cassandra was sure no statue could hold a candle to her beauty.

"Cassandra! Thank the Maker you are well!" Evelyn exclaimed. "I was so worried! I received no word during the return trip and I didn't even know if you were awake."

The Seeker could barely contain her smile at the sight of the Inquisitor, but soon she remembered her own failing. She realized she had caused much distress to the Inquisitor with her injury and had wasted precious resources. Her smile gave way to a more contrite expression.

"I am sorry about what happened, my Lady. I will try to be more careful in the future." 

Evelyn looked at her with a frown. "What are you talking about, Cassandra? If you are implying any of what happened was your fault..."

Cassandra blushed. What was she supposed to say? Had she been more careful, none of that would have happened. She even risked getting the blight with those darkspawn near! She averted her eyes. "I... thank you for getting me here."

"Of course. I couldn't very well leave you there in a camp in the middle of nowhere.” Evelyn took the few steps to the cot and wrapped a hand around the Seeker’s. “You really worried us, Cassandra." She said softening her tone. "I am sorry I could not do more for you back there, but I know Vivienne did more than I could."

Cassandra enjoyed the small contact secretly, feeling like a thief. Evelyn’s concern warmed her heart, but she could not shake the guilt for having caused it. "I was told she helped me the whole time, Inquisitor. I will make sure to thank her properly."

"I will do that as well. I had to send you two back with some scouts, and I believe the trip for her was less than pleasant. Thankfully she's never one to complain about the hardships of our travels." The Seeker was glad that the Inquisitor was not angry with her for her shortcomings.

"I should go meet the others, they'll be wondering where I am. I'll be back later."

Was she going to see Josephine? Had Evelyn missed the Ambassador? No, she should not be thinking about the two of them. She had no right on the Inquisitor, and even if she did, she should not pursue her.

"I think I'm well enough to get out of here."

"That will be for the medic to decide. Please do what she asks" Evelyn said, her eyes making it clear she expected her to comply.

"I will." She let her head rest against the pillow and sighed.

* * *

"What do you mean, they are leaving?" Cassandra asked, not believing her ears. She had just come into the main hall from her room, only to find it deserted. In the past few days she had started some practice to get back in shape, convinced that there had not been any strategic meeting when apparently she simply had not been called.

"It means exactly what you think, Cassandra. They are going to the Emerald Graves to investigate some leads on the Venatori."

"Without me? That's impossible."

Leliana laughed. "Yes, without you. The medic deemed you still at risk and wants you to sit out of this one."

"This is unbelievable. How was I not informed of this?" She stormed out of the room before Leliana could answer, going down to the entrance where the party was getting ready to leave. Surely Evelyn would see reason and let her go. Who would watch over her in her absence? She did not want to leave the task to someone else.

Evelyn was checking the straps of her saddle when Cassandra arrived, receiving looks from the other companions that ranged from the amused to the pitying. "Inquisitor. You did not inform me of this expedition. Surely there is a mistake..."

Evelyn looked at her in surprise. "I'm sorry, but it's no mistake, Cassandra."

"I am healed. I can go with you." 

Evelyn seemed hesitant. "I cannot risk it. If the medic says to give you more time to recover, that's exactly what I'll do."

"But..."

"No buts. The decision is made." She looked as sad as she was. Was she concerned for her own safety as well? They had worked together for too long now for her to want to leave the Inquisitor's protection to anyone else. And... she'd miss her. That was not a point to raise to the Inquisitor, of course. That concern was irrelevant. She raked her mind to find some way to make her reconsider but she found nothing. Cassandra resigned herself to staying in Skyhold.

"Be careful," was all she could say. 

Evelyn looked in her eyes with an intensity that melted Cassandra at the core. "You too" she said softly. "Don't take any risks, please." 

Cassandra nodded. The dull pain in her head following the motion reminded her of the reason why she was staying.

The caravan was ready to go; only Evelyn had yet to get on her horse and as a result Cassandra realized everyone had witnessed that exchange. She blushed fiercely. Trying to leave nonchalantly, she nodded in the general direction of the party and turned around, waiting for the caravan to move before she gave one last glance back. It was going to be a long wait.


	13. Chapter 13

The forest in the Emerald Graves seemed so ancient and alive that Evelyn felt almost guilty when on occasion she had to walk through an untouched patch of grass. The colors were so intense that she understood the reason for the name, but the forest was in places so closed in that Evelyn thought it suffocating. Funny she would feel that way in the open nature after having lived in a bloody tower for years. 

After the initial weirdness of not having the Seeker around - it was in fact the first time she went somewhere without her since the conclave, discounting her trip through the Frostback mountains, of course - she felt she was finally accepting the absence. Only to realize she had been thinking of the woman again. It was not that she did not like her traveling companions - she was fond of many of them - but she missed the quiet presence of the Seeker. It always made her feel safe. How she could feel any less safe with the hulking qunari riding alongside her, was a mystery that still baffled her.

"You all right, boss? You seem pensive."

She also tended to forget he was an agent for the Ben-Hassrath. His bulky figure made it difficult to imagine him as a spy, but he had keen eyes and missed nothing.

"I'm fine."

"Good." He returned his attention to the path they were following.

At least he was not intrusive.

The Freemen of the Dales headquarter was dead ahead, its access hidden from view due to the vegetation, but the buildings were clearly of Villa Maurel. Many Freemen were about and Evelyn thought it best to take them by surprise and avoid being overrun by the forces inside the building. They secured the horses and proceeded on foot, Varric and Sera leading the way for their light footing. 

"There's a bunch of them outside the mansion” Varric reported back. “I say we start picking them off before you guys get there."

"Good idea. Do it.", Evelyn said. The rest of them split in two directions to avoid getting in the line of fire and tried to sneak up on the unsuspecting Freemen, who seemed to be moving some shipment. As soon as bodies started falling they got alarmed, and Evelyn and the others started attacking openly. She kept her eyes on Iron Bull and Blackwall to help them, but the qunari noticed that some archers were endangering Evelyn and doubled back to their position, making them easy pickings.

“Looks like we are done here. Let’s take a look inside.”

Villa Maurel was large and opulent, but from the sorry state of the interior it was clear the occupants had scarce interest in keeping it in good shape. Misplaced furniture and ornaments made it obvious the place had been relieved of the most precious contents. It struck Evelyn that the place was fairly quiet. Maybe the Freemen's forces were not all too big after all. A visit to the internal courtyard though showed that their numbers were enough to give trouble to their small team. They had chanced upon what seemed a briefing the commander of the Freemen was giving to his men, so the bulk of his forces was all in the same place. It would be tough, but Evelyn’s party seemed in good shape and she decided to take the chance and deal with the threat immediately, with the advantage that the group assembled in the courtyard had not noticed their presence. 

At her gesture the fight began, with the ranged attacks taking down a few enemies unawares to help even the ground. Evelyn as always dealt with the immediate threats to the sword fighters while the archers picked off targets at a distance. She was focused on the scene ahead, checking that nobody was being flanked, thinking how it would go if Cassandra were there... then a piercing pain to her back took her breath away. Shocked by the sudden attack, she struggled to stay upright and turned, casting a cone of flame to her attacker, who screamed and contorted, attracting the attention of her closest companions. A flurry of spells later and he stopped his struggle. Gasping in pain, Evelyn felt her back for the wound, her fingers coming away bloodied. She hoped the blade had not been poisoned.

“Inquisitor, are you all right?” Varric asked.

A quick scan of the battlefield told Evelyn that her people were still in danger of being defeated: she could not take care of herself yet. “I’m all right, Varric. Let’s end this,” she replied, gritting her teeth to keep fighting despite the pain and her dwindling strength. 

When it was clear the battle was won, she slumped to the ground, too weak now to try and mend the wound by herself. "Vivienne," she called.

The mage reached her immediately, and after followed by the other companions. 

"What happened?" the mage asked, checking her visually for signs of damage.

"Knife. Back," Evelyn grunted.

Vivienne moved around her to take a look at the wound. "My dear, you lost a lot of blood. Lay face down, I'll try to stop the bleeding."

Evelyn complied with a few grunts and the help of Varric. Vivienne had not been kidding. There was blood where she had been sitting, and the sight of it made her stomach queasy. How ironic that she could not stand the sight of her own blood, but made everyone else lose theirs.

She dozed off as Vivienne worked her magic; the act sending a warm feeling that encompassed her. 

Evelyn had lost track of the time elapsed when the Enchanter gently shook her. "It is done. The wound was not too deep, Inquisitor. You have been lucky."

Yeah, so lucky, she thought as she got up, feeling definitely better though weak. Varric gave her a worried look, but said nothing.

"Let's see if we can find anything of use and move out."

* * *

Back in the camp, Evelyn nibbled on her piece of roasted venison, but though she was hungry she did not really feel like eating; she had been holding the same piece for a while now. Concern about her little incident was keeping her preoccupied. She had not seen nor noticed the attacker in any way. Maybe she had become too careless. Her companions had not complained, but she was afraid of a repeat slip up and its consequences. Not to mention she could not afford getting killed. And what would Cassandra think? She had pleaded for her to be careful. She still remembered her face before the caravan left. The Seeker had seemed so haunted and throughout the trip she had kept wondering whether it had just been her sense of duty, or she had been genuinely worried about her. Was it even possible that the woman had some feelings for her? Her memory helpfully supplied all the episodes which made it clear Cassandra considered her incapable and would have preferred to have Hawke as the Inquisitor. But she could not get out of her mind the small gestures the Seeker had done for her, or the look they had exchanged before her departure. She sighed and took another bite of the now cold meat. She was getting nowhere with this line of thought.

"May I have a word?" Varric asked. 

She was the only one still around the campfire, the others having moved to take care of their own equipment or already in their tent. "Of course Varric. What is it?"

He sat on a log beside her. "How do I put it... we are a bit concerned here."

"What do you mean, we? And concerned about what?" So they had complained, just not to her?

He stroked his own neck, hesitating. "I mean, I heard some of the others voice some concerns about your health. And I am a little worried as well, though, I have to say, I may have an inkling as to what is troubling you." He raised an eyebrow and gave her a cheeky smile. Evelyn was getting suspicious. 

"What do you mean with that? Besides the incident in Villa Maurel, I have been perfectly fine."

"Yeah, that was the last straw, but really, Evelyn... you have been distracted the whole trip."

The whole... The mage blanched. "Of course not. That's just silly. You guys are worrying for nothing."

Varric gave her a knowing look. "I understand you may not want to talk to your subordinates about personal stuff, but... I think even a blind person could see that you are not entirely here."

"Oh? And where would I be?" she tried to joke, only eliciting a smirk from the dwarf. 

"I think we both know where you'd rather be, Inquisitor."

Evelyn hoped the light from the fire would hide her blush. Had she really been so distracted? "Whatever you think, I'm sure you are exaggerating. We have been doing fine, and I only got a light wound. You guys get wounded all the time, so... you are worrying for nothing," she insisted, not sounding convincing even to her own ears.

"Look, I'm not one to intrude, but... wait, yes. Yes I am. But I'm a good listener, so if you need to talk..."

Talk? What was there to talk about? She could admit to missing the Seeker, and she had this unfamiliar feeling because of the close contact they'd had for the past few months, but beside that... there was nothing to say. Plus, whatever personal thing she said would probably end up in Varric's next serial.

"I just miss her, alright? What else do you want me to say? I just have to get over it." She sighed. "I know I'm not doing a very good job of it, but I'll keep trying."

Varric patted her leg. "I really don't understand your taste in women, Inquisitor. Is she aware of your feelings?"

Evelyn scoffed. "Of course not. She's not interested in me. The anchor is what draws her attention."

Varric frowned. "That is not quite the impression I got. But knowing her, she probably would not realize you have feelings for her if she found you naked in her bed."

"Well, it's how it is. We are becoming friends, but that is all. And even so, we have too many differences. It could never work out."

"If you say so. The way I see it, she's just being real shitty at showing her feelings. But again, that does not surprise me one bit."

Incredulous, she scrutinized the dwarf’s face to see if he was mocking her. He looked serious, but she still could not believe his words. Cassandra had been friendly at most, when they were not bickering anyway. She guessed she would find out where she really stood eventually. For now, she had to try and be less distracted, though she still had trouble accepting that she could be attracted by someone of Cassandra's profession. When she was in the Circle, she never made close friends with Templars. They mostly kept to themselves, handling the mages with detached professionalism. She even remembered a few occasions in which a couple of corrupt Templars had mistreated her companions, and how she had been thrown in isolation by some unfeeling goons, and could not find an ounce of sympathy for them. Since joining the Inquisition, people like Lisette had mellowed her on the subject. While it was true that not all Templars were bad, and some were moved by noble intentions, they were still at odds with the need for freedom she'd always had. Cassandra was not particularly open to radical reforms either, yet she was not ill intentioned and, above all, she was a very special woman. She sighed. Thinking about the Seeker was not a good way to get her distraction under control.

* * *

It was stifling inside the smithy, despite it being almost November. The biting cold of the mountains did not reach inside the building, which was one of the reasons she liked the place, yet that night as she turned and tossed, she wished she would feel cooler. Sleep would not overtake her, and her mind kept going back to the Inquisitor, suggesting disturbing scenarios that should not and hopefully would not come to pass. She could not deny to herself that she missed her, and that had been true for some time already. As much as she wanted to avoid it, her feelings for Evelyn had grown unchecked to the point of being a problem. She needed to do something about it, but having never been in the same position before, not being able to forget about her or even avoid her, she was at loss about what to do. At least with her former colleagues she could have a brief relationship and not worry about consequences, since the Seekers were often assigned alone or in small groups in the most disparate locations. Here her distraction could mean a loss of innocent lives. But every time she closed her eyes, her mind tried to wander to Evelyn, how her lips could feel, how she had felt right in her arms when she sought solace after Redcliffe... 

She pushed off her covers in anger and stood, pacing barefoot on the dusty floor. She was sick of having her emotions so out of control, even now that she had discovered Evelyn’s relationship with the Ambassador. The moons were out, illuminating the sleeping Skyhold. She wondered where Evelyn was right then. Her mind went back to the dance the mage had shared with Josephine and her blood started boiling. She needed to get enough peace of mind so she could get some sleep, she reminded herself.

She noticed a light from the top of the rookery, signifying that someone was still working there. Probably Leliana. Without thinking too much, she put on some clothes and headed out hoping she would give her some time to talk; Leliana was an old friend and somewhat seemed wiser than most and she probably would have some words for her. After having mocked her, she feared; sometimes she had some biting comments to make but at that point Cassandra would endure that gladly.

She met nobody on her way to the rookery; no sounds either. She started wondering if someone was still up there, but she knew not all of Skyhold was sleeping. Guards were posted strategically around the walls to keep everyone safe, ready for any arrival. Reaching the top of the winding stairs, she found her friend bent on the table; the scratching of her quill on the paper sounding loud to her ears accustomed to silence. Leliana looked tired; her eyes were sunken and a frown was etched between her eyebrows. She was overworking more and more lately, as the pressure to defeat Corypheus rose. Maybe it was better to suggest her to rest and deal with her own problems.

"Cassandra," Leliana acknowledged her before she could make her presence known. The spymaster lifted her eyes to the Seeker. "Why are you up at this hour? Is something wrong?"

Cassandra took a few steps towards the woman, unsure how to explain herself. "No, nothing is wrong. I just could not sleep."

Leliana frowned, putting aside her quill and paper and leaning back on her chair, stretching. "Sounds like there's more to it. Do tell."

Sighing, the Seeker paced, trying to find a way to utter the words she knew were the root cause of her sleeplessness. "I have a problem... with the Inquisitor."

"What has she done this time? Proposed a mage for Divine?"

The harmless joke did not amuse Cassandra, but she tried to keep her cool. She was expecting some suffering from her sarcastic friend after all. "No, nothing like that. It's more like... I have a problem with her."

"Well, spit it out already, or it will be dawn before we are done talking."

The Seeker stopped and looked in Leliana's eyes. The look of amusement made her think she already had an inkling of what was tormenting her, but true to herself, she wanted to expose her before helping. Cassandra found it hard to say the right words, feeling selfish and stupid for her aspirations. She looked anywhere but at the spymaster as she continued, "I keep thinking of her. I know it's stupid. She's a mage, she barely stands me for the role I've had, the things I should have done but did not. As if that was not enough, she’s the Inquisitor and I can scarcely afford to fall for her. But I cannot stand to be away from her. The anxiety is tearing me apart."

Leliana stood, putting a hand on her friend's arm affectionately. "She can handle herself, you know. She has good people with her. You should not worry about her."

"I'm more worried about myself. This is not the time, and she's not someone I should... get attached to," Cassandra said, meeting Leliana's eyes. Her friend gave her a sad smile. 

"I'm sorry to see you like that. Does she know?"

"Don’t be silly. I could not let her know of this."

"Why? I think she likes you very much."

Cassandra sighed, lowering her head. "I... it would be wrong. I cannot. She's the Inquisitor, our leader..."

"And favored of Andraste" Leliana finished for her. "Cassandra, you know she's just a woman."

"I know. But she's much more than that." She paused. "And I'm afraid. It would not be wise of me to get too close to her."

Leliana guided Cassandra's face so she would look her in the eye, so close they were almost touching. "I know it's hard. But Evelyn... she's a good one, Cassandra. If there's a chance she wants you back, what's the harm in trying?"

Cassandra thought of the awkwardness that would ensue, of her heart breaking in small pieces... The danger they were constantly in, the weight all of their actions had on Thedas. 

"A lot," she replied.

Leliana shook her head, "Of course."

"I... will think about that," Cassandra conceded. Leliana was so close, still looking deep into her eyes with the understanding only someone who knew her so well could have.

"I think I can ease some of your suffering, at least for tonight," Leliana softly said, letting her hand slide down Cassandra's cheek and neck until it sat over her heart. 

Cassandra exhaled a shaky breath. It would not be the first time they consoled each other, but it had been a long time since the last. Leliana was as desirable as ever and a skilled lover and would make her stop struggling at least for a while. 

"I do need it too," the spymaster added with uncharacteristic meekness, helping Cassandra make up her mind. She lowered her head to meet Leliana's lips, drawing their bodies together in a fierce embrace. She deepened the kiss, letting her hand wander over Leliana's breasts, the other locking on the back of her neck. Leliana sighed, her hands mirroring Cassandra’s exploration. Cassandra broke off the kiss to get some oxygen while Leliana let her hands fall to her waist, where they sought her breeches' strings and started undoing them. 

Cassandra caught her hands, stopping them; she pulled Leliana up and then pushed her roughly against the nearby wall while holding her puzzled gaze. As she held her there, the spymaster's eyes turned into melting puddles when the Seeker reversed the plan and removed her overcoat instead, then lowered her pants in a few swift moves. 

She could hear both her own and Leliana’s breaths in the quiet of the rookery. Ignoring her own aching core, she renewed her assault on Leliana’s mouth; her friend’s arms latching firmly behind her neck when her fingers slid between the spymaster’s legs and soon found a rhythm that elicited small gasps from her friend. Leliana had been right, they both needed that. 

"Who are you thinking about?" she asked, suspecting something was amiss with her friend.

"Josephine," a breathless spymaster replied.

“Oh. I suppose you knew about the two of them since the beginning then.” 

“About the two of them? Cassandra, they are just friends.”

“What?”

“They are not a couple. I was under that impression as well for a while, but I am sure now.”

Inevitably, the Seeker felt relieved. For no good reason. Whether Evelyn was in a relationship or not, that did not change anything for her.

Cassandra kissed Leliana again, enjoying her friend's surrendering to her, aware that the spymaster, though she may appear friendly, had become extremely wary of people. Earning her trust, especially the level of trust they had in each other, was all but easy. She felt Leliana deserved someone good in her life after all the shit she had to suffer. 

"Does Josephine know?" she mirrored the question she had received earlier.

Leliana shook her head, her face grimacing in pleasure. "No, I don't think it would be right."

"Why not? You two seem to be close."

"I'm not the carefree girl she used to know. She would not like what I've become. I don't want to..."

Cassandra increased the pace of her touches, seeing her friend close to climax. "To what? She already knows what you do." She suspected her friend was putting too many obstacles in her mind that did not exist in reality. Josephine was lovely, and she deserved someone as lovely and dedicated and noble as Leliana.

"She's so innocent. I... don't want to... ah... spoil that." Cassandra let her ride out the orgasm before removing her hand, keeping her stable by pressing her own body against her.

"If anyone deserves to be happy, Leliana, it's you. Give her a chance. Give yourself a chance."

Leliana smirked. "Does that not go for you as well?"

"Humph." The Seeker detached herself from the other woman and went to lean on the edge of the table. "It's not the same."

"Right." Leliana shook her head in amusement. You need to let go of those fears, Cassandra. Nobody goes through life without losing someone." 

The Seeker looked at her in surprise. "What... how did you...?"

"I know you, dummy. I know it's hard. It’s scary. But I promise you, she likes you very much. I have a knack for these things." She closed the distance again, kissing her while her hands sought her breeches again, this time undoing the fastening and bringing them down. Cassandra could not suppress the shiver of anticipation; she was throbbing and accepted gratefully Leliana's mouth when it reached her sex. A wave of sensation hit her. It had been a long time, exacerbated by the last months where her close quarters with the Inquisitor were not helping matters. 

Leliana did not understand. She could not try to get closer to the woman. She was a symbol, and their figurehead, and possibly chosen by Andraste. Cassandra had lost everyone who had ever been close to her, barring Leliana, of course. Was it worth trying when so much was at stake, when they risked death the more they got closer to Corypheus? A tear escaped her eye as she climaxed; she quickly caught it but not before Leliana had seen it. "Are you all right?" her friend asked softly.

She nodded. "I will be,” she replied, letting her forehead rest on Leliana's.

* * *

"Sister Nightingale."

Leliana looked up from her papers. Her eyes took a few instants to readjust, but she recognized one of her couriers with a parcel in his hands. She smiled in satisfaction.

"Olin. I trust you found what I asked you?" The young man showed a prideful smile of his own and advanced offering the parcel. 

"Of course, Sister Nightingale. I told you you could count on me."

He was indeed a very promising agent, though she feared his pride could get him in trouble one day. She accepted the offered package, placing it on her table. "You'll get a nice bonus. I am glad you came through, Olin. I will consider assigning you to more classified tasks."

Olin beamed like a kid receiving a new toy. "Thank you, Sister. You won't be disappointed." 

She watched him leave, amused by his enthusiasm. She wondered if he'd change his mind once one of the more distasteful objectives would fall on his lap, but hopefully he would endure. Good agents were hard to find and even harder to groom. She returned her attention to the package, carefully opening its non-descript wrapping. After removing the layers of protective tissue, she raised the metal boat model that had been concealed within and smiled. Josephine would love it. She carefully repackaged it and stored it in a crate near her table, anticipating the reaction of her friend when she delivered it.

She had half thought of letting someone else deliver it, like Evelyn. But there was no point hiding that she had found it herself, was there? It was just a thoughtful gift and the sole purpose was to cheer her friend up. With that in mind, along with some trepidation for the appropriateness of the gesture, Leliana opened the door to the passage that also contained Josephine's office. Due to the already late hour, her friend was alone in the office, her candles already getting short. She cleared her voice to get her attention, carefully keeping the package behind her back. Josephine looked up and smiled upon recognizing her. 

"Leliana. I hope you do not come with more work for me at this hour" she joked, but her tired features revealed that she was indeed overworked, just like most people in the Inquisition.

"Fear not, Josie. I come with a present that I hope will cheer you up a little." 

"Oh, a present?" the other said standing up, her excitement at the news written all over her face. It was worth going through all the trouble just for that, but Leliana was sure it would get even better. She offered the package to Josephine, who carefully placed it on her desk and studied it, her face taking an inquisitive look. 

"Hmm. I do not recognize the shape," she said, stapling her finger on her chin, deep in thought to guess what she had been given. 

Leliana could not help but laugh at the girlish behavior. "You'll hardly guess what this is, Josie. Just open it," she suggested.

Her friend was a little perplexed, but did as she was told and soon the little boat emerged from the package, Josephine's face lit up in wonderment. "This is... no, it cannot be right..." she returned her stare at Leliana waiting for a confirmation. Leliana nodded, smirking like a cat who stole the sausage. "The Montilyet family crest."

"Oh dear.... I cannot believe you found this for me." She placed the gift carefully on the table and walked around it to get to Leliana and give her a choking embrace. Yes, it had been worth it. "Thank you," Josephine said, her eyes lucid with emotion. "It's such a thoughtful gift. You should not have..."

"Oh, come on Josephine. I just want to see you happy if I can help it. And this was something I could do," she explained looking deep into her friend's eyes, hoping to convey what she did not want to reveal with words. It was the truth, though that explanation did not include her selfish desire to be the one to cause that happiness. Or was it really selfish? Did she really deserve happiness? Could she make Josephine happy?

"You are the sweetest friend. If only you did not conceal that with that scary mask you have, everyone else could see it," Josephine said, touching Leliana's heart. But the spymaster knew that was not the truth, and there was no way Josephine was not aware of her shadier dealings done in the name of the Inquisition.

"I would be a poor spymaster if everyone thought of me as a sweet lady," she instead replied with a smirk, making Josephine laugh in turn.

"I suppose you are right." Josephine returned to her desk, retrieved the ship and placed it on the ledge over the fireplace, among other precious trinkets she had collected.

"How are the deals coming?"

Josephine looked down before answering, setting all kinds of red flags in Leliana's mind. 

"It is slow going, but it's coming together. I just need a few more favors and I'll be able to elevate the Du Paraquettes to nobility again," she replied, and Leliana did not miss how she forced herself to sound happy about the whole thing.

"How long?"

More hesitation. Josephine did not meet her eyes this time. "I think it will take only a couple more months."

Only a diplomat would prefix ‘months’ with ‘only’ in a matter of life and death. She sighed, knowing they'd already had the same discussion with no result. "It will not do, Josephine. You'll still be at risk the whole time. If you just let me..."

"No," Josephine interrupted her with a hard edge on her voice. "I do not wish to cause any more harm to others for a family matter, Leliana. I thought this was clear already."

"It was. But is your life less important than that of an assassin who does contract jobs? You do realize what we all risk if you... if you get hurt?" 

She hoped the different angle could sway her. Her friend seemed to think about it, but before Leliana could hope for a change of mind, Josephine went back to her original plan. "I am so close now, Leliana. I can make it, I am sure. It is not necessary to find other ways. Please."

Normally she would concede to such a plea, but this time the stakes were too high. Josephine would certainly protest once she learned she had ignored her wishes about the way to solve the situation, but if keeping her friend safe was the tradeoff, she was willing to face her ire. Now she just needed keep a close eye on the assassins from the House of Repose while her own worked to destroy the contract. 

She nodded. "As you wish. I will see you later." 

It was a dirty resolution, and Josephine would probably hate her for doing things behind her back, but she was not willing to risk. The contract had to go.

* * *

Leliana read the scroll again, just to make sure she had read correctly. Yes, her agent reported that the contract had been destroyed. She sighed in relief. It was another thing off her shoulders, and now she could sleep easier knowing that her friend was safe. Well, safer than before. As they got closer to uncovering the enemy's plans, things seemed far from safe anymore. If they could beat the Venatori in the fortress at Adamant, they would deal a deathly blow to Corypheus' plans, but preparations were still undergoing. She crumpled the paper and burned it on her candle so it would not be found, deciding to give the news to Josephine tomorrow. 

She left the tower, her light steps the only sound besides the occasional screeches of her crows. She was often going to sleep late, but as long as it was required, she would do it. There was no point getting more rest if you ended up dead because you didn't do all you could, after all. On her way to her quarters, she halted. A silhouette was crouching in front of Josephine's door. Leliana’s hand went for her knife. Had the House of Repose sent an assassin before her agents completed the job? The figure stood and came towards her, but his steps were not silent enough for an assassin. Instinctively, Leliana retreated to a dark corner and waited for the figure to pass her, then followed when it was at a distance. It quickly became obvious that the figure was Blackwall, still delivering letters to Josephine, instead of an assassin, and she relaxed despite the mounting annoyance. 

Was Josephine still replying to him? What was their game? After what she heard about Josephine's stance on the matter, she could not figure out why they dragged on with the silly correspondence. It enraged her to know what was happening, something Josephine was not willing to share with her. She decided it was time to discover what the older man had in mind. After what had transpired with Cassandra, she realized it was foolish of her to declare defeat without even trying. Life, and two people in particular, had given her a thorough beating, but she could not let them take away even her hope for love. And if that meant she was selfish, so be it. Over the years she had done much worse than being selfish. She just needed to be careful not to hurt Josephine.

Following him from the shadows, she arrived at the rundown barn where he kept his stuff. Wood was still burning in the fireplace and gave the place a moderate illumination. She had never been in there, but it did not surprise her that his accommodation was even poorer than Cassandra's. If she didn't know Cullen she would have thought all the military types preferred as uncomfortable quarters as possible. She stepped into the light of the fireplace, surprising the man with a letter in his hands.

"Sister? What do you need in the middle of the night?" He said with a nervous overtone. Leliana did not miss the fast motion of his hands bringing the letter out of sight. No doubt he did not like to be sneaked upon. Leliana took that as a small victory; his strange affair with Josephine made her dislike him.

"I have noticed you have taken an interest in our ambassador," she said, slowly moving around the area as if inspecting its contents.

"It's nothing more than friendship, Sister. The Ambassador is a lovely person."

"Of course she is. But I noticed a... different kind of interest on your part," she replied, pointedly looking at the letter still in his hand. It was impossible to identify the calligraphy from there, but she was willing to bet it was Josephine's. Following her eyes, he also looked at the letter almost crumpled in the hand resting at his side.

"It's harmless correspondence,” he said with resentment. “And I am sure it is also none of your business. Unless your role implies also spying on your own comrades?"

"I am seneschal of the Inquisition, Warden." She could not keep the venom from her voice. In that moment she fully realized she was jealous. That did not prevent her from using her position to make Blackwall feel at disadvantage; she did not like to feel second to this man in Josephine's heart, but she also still had her interests at heart. Blackwall needed to understand that if he strayed there would be consequences.

"Are you using your rank for personal motives?"

She advanced on him, a determined look making her features cold. "I am just reminding you I am not your comrade. I also have something else I want you to be aware of."

He took a step backwards, puzzled. "What? I am doing nothing wrong." She could see him tensing. Something in the back of her mind alarmed her, but she could not pinpoint what.

"Josephine is my friend. Has been for a long time. She is not experienced in matters of the heart, Warden," she started, "and you would do well to tread lightly.” She took a step forward to invade his personal space and drive the point home. “I will kill you if you hurt her." He swallowed, taking one step back as if to distance himself from the danger. She almost smirked in satisfaction, but needed to keep her facade for him. Not that she did not mean what she had said.

"I... I have no ill will towards Lady Montilyet, I assure you."

"Regardless." But she did wonder, what was he trying to accomplish? They already knew Josephine would never marry him, too concerned for her family's name. She wondered if he was aware of that. "What are your intentions, then?"

"I..." he started pacing, looking more and more nervous. "I know I am not the best man who could aspire to her hand. I just... I wish I could be. She did not object to my letters, and I find hers a solace. I'm afraid I have nothing to offer her but this. Just... some thoughtful words on paper. If she still finds them welcome, I do not wish to stop."

She could almost sympathize. In a way, they were in the same position, only Leliana herself was at least closer to the Ambassador and could steal some moments in private with her, something Blackwall could hardly afford. But rather than encourage him or give him compassionate words, she still regarded him as a rival. With him, Josephine was almost having a secret affair, after all.

She nodded. "See to it that you do not make her suffer." When the Warden nodded in return, she left with measured steps, going back to the shadows where she felt more at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me, I hate to leave things unfinished :P  
> As always, thanks for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

Josephine paced in her office, anger clouding her mind, making it temporarily impossible to work. She stopped in front of the fireplace, bracing herself on the ledge, gazing in the flames. How dared she do that? Her friend! She probably meant well, but Blackwall had not been pleased. She could not imagine how embarrassing that must have been. Yet at the same time she could not help but find it endearing. She was like a chevalier, ready to defend her from ill-intentioned people... only it was about her private life, and she still did not know how she had gotten the information about the correspondence she was keeping with the Warden if not by spying on either of them, she concluded. Whatever the case was, she would hear about it, seneschal or not. The door opening brought her out of her thoughts. A breathless courier stood at the door, waiting for permission to enter. She waved him in, retaking her place behind the desk.

The young man approached the desk with a few strides. "Lady Ambassador. I bring news," he said, breathing hard and leaning on the chair. He must have come running. Josephine could not help but feel trepidation for what she feared would be bad news.  
"Please tell. Is something the matter?"  
"I have word that our guards have made contact with a noble who is coming to visit. He is a couple of days away."

"Oh? Is that not routine these days? Why such a hurry?"

"It's Lord Victor Trevelyan."

"Lord... " she repeated, not believing her ears. "You said Lord Victor Trevelyan? Brother to our Inquisitor?" she asked, standing from her comfortable chair as if she had to attend to him right away.

"Aye, my Lady. I believe that is who he is. He says he came to visit his sister and pay homage to the Inquisition."

That was most unexpected and possibly troublesome, as she recalled Evelyn did not have any relationship with her family since her childhood. She had to make preparations right away. Her mind already took stock of the inventory that was likely left and tried to figure out what he could possibly want. Evelyn was still away, probably on her way back from the Emerald Graves. She needed to send word, perhaps. Or maybe she would not want to hear from him, in which case she would need to avoid a diplomatic incident when she arrived. The Trevelyans were still a powerful and influential family in Ostwick and the Free Marches, especially Evelyn's branch of the family. She realized the young man was still in front of her awaiting to be dismissed while she fretted about what to do. 

"You may leave, thank you." The man left, and Josephine thought to inform Leliana in person. She would be in the rookery as usual, so she went there as fast as her mostly for show shoes allowed her, cursing the architects that had put so many stairs on the other wing of the palace.

Her friend was there, dealing with her personnel. Seeing her reminded her that she still had to settle matters with her. There was no time to do so right then, but she wanted her to be aware that they had to talk.

"Josephine? What are you doing here? Has something happened?" Leliana was instantly alarmed at the sight of Josephine in the rookery, so rare it was for her to venture there. 

"Actually yes, more than one thing. Do not think I have not heard of what you said to Blackwall" she hissed, aware that other people could likely hear.

"Is that why you are here? I only did it because..." she tried to justify herself, but the ambassador wanted none of it, though talking about the matter brought a deep red to her cheeks not just because of the rage. Somehow talking about this with her friend made her feel guilty. She had not said anything to her before, and now she had found out... It was something harmless and deliciously forbidden what she had started with the Warden, but it made her feel like betrayal to have hidden something from Leliana.

"This is not the moment. Victor Trevelyan is coming here. I think the Inquisitor should be made aware of this."

"Her brother is coming? What do you think he wants? How far from here is he?"

"They say a few days. We have time to prepare, but... he wants to see Evelyn. Do you think she would want to deal with him?"

"Josephine, the Inquisitor left the Emerald Graves days ago. I am afraid we cannot contact her before she is close to Skyhold herself."

This could not be happening. It was a golden opportunity for the Inquisition to secure the noble's help, but at the same time the risk to turn it into nug droppings was very real.

"I will make sure to make him feel welcome as someone of his station expects. I'll deal with his requests like any of his peers, but for whatever concerns Evelyn... I'll wait to have her stance on this."

"It sounds like our best option, Josephine. I'm sure you'll handle it well."

Leliana did not seem particularly phased by the news, but then, she was not the Ambassador who had to deal with the possible fallout.

Now that the anxiety had somewhat worn off, she stared at Leliana, wanting to deal with their little incident but at the same time wary of causing a scene for the agents around them. They were, after all, spies, and she did not want her personal affairs - or discussions with Leliana - to spread. Her friend seemed to catch on her hesitation; her keen eyes rarely missed a thing. "Come, let us have a talk," she said making way to the door that led to a balcony that overlooked the main court. Leliana closed the door, ensuring that they could not be easily overheard. Josephine found herself tongue tied and wringing her hands trying to find a way to broach the subject again.

"Why did you not tell me?" Leliana started for her, putting Josephine on the side of guilt for a start. How to explain that she did not think too seriously of the matter? She enjoyed the attention and she found Blackwall charming, but they had known from the beginning nothing could happen between them. It was exciting to have a little secret, yet she felt ashamed because her friend had discovered it. The thought of her intruding, however, overrode whatever feeling of guilt she could have had.

"It was not of your concern, Leliana. I am entitled to have some private life, I believe." Leliana dropped her gaze and looked out. Despite her stoic reaction, Josephine was sure she had hurt her. She should have been glad for the small measure of revenge, instead she regretted her words.

"I know, you are right. I do not wish to meddle, Josie. I just wanted to make sure you are safe."

Josephine knew where her friend was coming from, but she resented being made to feel like this weak thing that needed to be protected. Blackwall had enough of those thoughts of his own, she could not help but draw parallels. But surely Leliana did not share the same intents of the Warden, and she did not need to suspect someone as honorable as the Warden.

"I am perfectly able to take care of these matters, Leliana. Besides, how did you find out? I doubt Blackwall shared the letters with you, so that only leaves the possibility that you spied on one of us," she said crossing her arms, determined to make the spymaster see the error of her ways.

"Spy on you? No, Josephine, I assure you" Leliana said earnestly. She seemed desperately wanting for her to believe that. "I saw him deliver his letters. In the beginning I thought he might be molesting you, but then I realized it was not the case."

"And then you felt the need to humiliate him about it," she added. She believed her friend, but she did not want her to get off the hook too easily. Leliana was known for sweet talking herself out of trouble, she remembered. She doubted that skill had been lost with the years, though it was hard to imagine her doing so right now.

"I just wanted to warn him. I am sorry if you are offended, but I wanted to make sure he was not playing games with you." Her eyes bore into Josephine's, once again reversing their position in Josephine's mind. She cursed herself for not being able to stay righteously angry at her, but she had to admit she was grateful for the thoughtfulness of her friend, even though it was still insulting that she felt the need to protect her. "I can handle myself, as I said. You needn't take care of these matters."

"You keep saying that, but can you really? What if he wanted to just play with you and toss you aside? You do not have enough experience to..."

"Enough,” Josephine exploded. “I am not a child. Leliana. Do us both a favor and stop intruding in my personal life."

Leliana was hurt, and Josephine knew she had found the right words to make her think about her actions. It probably pained herself more than her friend, but it was the truth. If Leliana really thought she should protect her from something so innocent... 

Leliana sighed. "You misunderstand," she said with a shake of her head, with a calm that surprised the ambassador. "Josephine, I have seen and suffered many things these past years. I know not all people are what they seem." 

Josephine wondered what had happened that had marked her friend so. She was aware she had not shared everything about her past, but every time she had tried to broach the subject, the spymaster had deftly changed subject. 

"I was just looking out for you, so that you don't have to suffer things you can be spared. That in no way diminishes what I think of you." She paused before adding softly, "and I do think you are one of the most wonderful people I know."

Now she felt like a stupid, and emotion made its way through her heart to the point of wetting her eyes. She blinked furiously to contain the tears that threatened to spill. Never had she heard more flattering words, more earnest affection. She could only wish one day she would find a lover that would be as thoughtful and selfless, though maybe less meddling.

"I... I think I understand now," she said, her voice almost cracking, "And I think the same of you." She let the words sink in, enjoying the warm smile that lit Leliana's face. Her eyes were also reflecting unshed tears, she was sure. "But please do not do it again. If you have similar doubts, I would appreciate you bringing them to me first."

Leliana nodded. "I will. I am sorry for the trouble." she said at last.

"There, was it so hard to say that?" Josephine joked.

Leliana laughed, but her features returned serious in a short time. "There is another matter, actually." Leliana added, sudden looking sheepish.

"What is it?"

"I took the liberty of dealing with the House of Repose myself, Josie."

"What? Why did you do that? I thought we agreed that you would let me handle the matter in my way."

"You did. I let you do as you wanted for a while, but when it was clear that it would take too long, I did not want to risk it."

"Andraste! How many?" she said, covering her mouth with a hand, dreading to hear the death toll of the operation.

"Just a couple. Our people came out with only slight wounds. A clean operation, I would say."

Josephine sighed. "Nobody would have died if you had let me handle this. It would not even have taken that long."

"Oh, please Josephine. We even stopped an assassin that had been sent here under the guise of a new agent. How long before someone really got to you? I'm sorry for disappointing you, but I'm not sorry for having done it. You can hate me only if you are still alive," Leliana said, bitterness dripping from her voice.

She had not realized the House of Repose had been close to assassinating them. She was a fool. How was she even still alive? "I could never hate you, Leliana. And... thank you. You were right."

Relieved, Leliana squeezed her hand. "Come on, we have much to do."

* * *

Cassandra looked out from the battlements, the wind putting her hair in disarray. From there, on the southern side of the fortress, she could see the only trail that led to Skyhold. The caravan was finally arriving, and Evelyn with it. It was still too far to discern the members of the company, but knowing that the Inquisitor was finally returning almost made her giddy. She had heard almost nothing of the expedition other than its success, but she took it as a good sign that things had gone well. After her discussion with Leliana she had decided to keep her own counsel and try to keep her own feelings in check, but she was determined to support Evelyn and be a friend to her. And as such, she was entitled to be present at her arrival, was she not? Hence why she kept waiting patiently. 

Half of Skyhold was in a frenzy over the arrival if Evelyn's brother, so it was likely that her attention would be taken by that event. Knowing between the Inquisitor and her family there was some bad blood, she was not sure how the mage would react to his presence. She personally would gladly throttle the man for how he had abandoned his sister, but Josephine had made it very clear to her that he had to be treated with regard, at least unless Evelyn herself dictated otherwise.

The caravan was approaching the main gate. Evelyn was near the front, seemingly in good shape. Relieved, Cassandra took the nearby stairs to reach the inner courtyard, forcing herself not to descend running. Horses and carriages were blocking her sight of the Inquisitor, but she had noticed Leliana approach before taking the last flight of stairs.

"Seeker. You look much better than the last time we met," Vivienne said upon seeing her. 

"Thank you, Vivienne. I am feeling much better, thanks to you."

"Seeker," Varric greeted with a nod.

"Varric," she replied in kind as she walked around the horses. Leliana was talking with Evelyn.

"... How is your wound?" the spymaster asked. "I read the reports, but I trust it had no consequences?"

Wound? Leliana knew of a wound but had said nothing to her though she knew how much she cared about Evelyn? How could they let Evelyn get wounded in the first place? She had been right to want to go!

"What's this about a wound?" she asked more forcefully than she should have as soon as she was in visual contact with the two.

"Uh, I better get out of here," she heard Varric say behind her, but her eyes remained on the two women, both appearing guilty and slightly panicked.

"Cassandra," Evelyn said with fake levity, "It's good to see you."

"I am glad you are back, Inquisitor," she replied. "But I would hear more of this incident. What happened?"

"It's nothing, really. Just a small wound. It gave me no trouble at all."

"No trouble?" she shook her head. "I should have guessed something would happen. I should have been there..." If she had not been so incompetent in the Storm Coast, Evelyn maybe would not have been put at risk.

"There was nothing you could do, Cassandra. Stop torturing yourself."

"Yeah, the Inquisitor should have concentrated on the battle. Only way to avoid that wound." Iron Bull off handedly remarked. "Your presence would have changed nothing. And we still completed the mission."

Evelyn cringed and looked elsewhere, seemingly confirming the qunari's words, but his words also reminded Cassandra of his promise to protect the mage. How could he let her get hurt?

"You claimed to be her bodyguard, Iron Bull," Cassandra replied. "It takes some gall to say that you could have not prevented the attack!"

Iron Bull stood straighter and left the saddle bags he had been freeing to face Cassandra, towering over her, his anger surfacing. "You were not there," he growled, "Stop telling me what could or could not have been done."

Cassandra did not cower in front of his imposing figure. It would take more than intimidation to make her back down. "Had I been there, I would have done a better work watching over her," she replied pointing her finger at his chest.

He guffawed, confusing the Seeker for a moment. "Had you not fallen on your head, sure, maybe you could have."

She felt the low blow all too well, anger clouding her mind and making her want a fight. She may have been thinking the same thing only moments before, but she could not let him get away with his mocking remark. Before she could reply however, Evelyn stepped in front of her, effectively blocking most of her view. Her eyes imploring, her hands fell lightly on her forearms. "Cassandra, please. Bull is not at fault. None of them are." She paused, eyes locked with the Seeker's. "He's right, I was careless, and that's on me. Let us not discuss further," she concluded more softly.

Cassandra's rage seemed to dissipate under that look. She could not ignore Evelyn's plea, and her willingness to discuss further with the qunari was put to rest. She lowered her eyes, realizing what a fool she must have looked. "As you wish. I did not mean to cause you trouble, Inquisitor. I am sure you have better things to do." She looked at Iron Bull and nodded as a sign of truce. He returned the gesture. Better to get out of the way and let Leliana talk to the Inquisitor. 

"Cassandra?" Evelyn stopped the Seeker before she had gotten far. She turned, half expecting some reproach for her recurring discussions with the qunari. She could not help but be wary of him. Ben Hassrath were masters at deceit and were not to be taken lightly, no matter how friendly they appeared. But the words she heard next had nothing to do with that, and changed her mood for the best.

"It's good to see you," Evelyn said with a smile. "I'm glad you are feeling better."

Cassandra nodded, surprised at the more heartfelt greeting. "Likewise, my Lady."

* * *

Evelyn stared after Cassandra, glad that at least she could express some of the happiness she experienced at seeing her again. It occurred to her that the fierce warrior had listened to her plea to drop the discussion... And those looks Cassandra had given her... was it longing what she had read in her eyes? Maybe there was a chance Varric had been right. Her heart beat harder at the implication. Maybe she could...  
"Inquisitor?" Leliana brought her back to the present. Iron Bull and the others had already left, and the seneschal was regarding her with contained amusement. "I'm sorry to interrupt whatever it is you were doing, but I thought you would want to see Lord Trevelyan."

"Lord... You mean the imposter." Her rage returned in full force at the idea of having to deal with that. "I'll see him now."

"We don't think it's an imposter, Your Worship. And we can keep him waiting if you wish to rest and freshen up first."

Evelyn shook her head. Her family would know better than to show up here after all they'd done. Or more appropriately, not done. "I will see him now, call his bullshit and then I'll have all the time to rest I need."

"As you wish," Leliana said walking with her to the main building. "I suppose you will find out soon enough. Please talk with me and the other advisors before making any rash decision," Leliana warned.

"You mean, don't throw him out in the snow with nothing but his smalls on him? I will see what I can do."

"Inquisitor, you do kn...."

Evelyn waved her away. "I'm not so stupid, Leliana. I will not mistreat him. For now. Do not worry."

"It's not very reassuring, but I suppose it will do. Good luck," Leliana said before leaving her in front of Josephine's office.

Inside Evelyn could hear the voices of a man and of course the ambassador. She did not quite recognize the voice, but that was to be expected. Last time she had seen her brother he had not changed his voice yet. She remembered the boy she used to play with. Back then her parents were grooming him to become the lord of the house, since he had been thirteen when her time with the Trevelyans came to an end. But in her mind he was still a scruffy kid who liked to play with swords and chase squirrels in the woods behind the family's mansion. She took a deep breath, finding her hand trembling as she reached for the handle. Calm down, Evelyn. At worst, there will be a pretender there. At best, it would be her brother. A brother who had done nothing, over the years, to contact her, despite her hopes that he would defy their parents and do the right thing when they had abandoned her. That encouragement did not quite do its job, but she pushed the door nonetheless and stood at the entrance, unsure how to proceed. From her position she was looking at the back of the man, dressed in a silk shirt covered by a waistcoat with a fur collar. His hair was blonde, much like her own, only short and well cut. Of course even a pretender would try to look like the real person they were trying to imitate. Josephine's attention left the man and went to her; her smile was one of welcome but Evelyn could see a hint of apprehension. Seeing her hesitation, the ambassador came to her aid. "Lord Trevelyan, our Inquisitor has arrived and I believe can attend to you. No doubt she is still tired from her travel..." at that point though the man did not seem to be listening anymore; instead he turned on his chair and his head recoiled in recognition. He stood so fast that he arrived in front of Evelyn in the blink of an eye, happiness written on his face.

"By the Maker, Evelyn! You have changed so much!" He proceeded to crush her in an embrace that almost took the wind out of her. He did seem to be her brother, though she had never thought of him as an adult. Confused about her own feelings, she stood there not returning the embrace nor making any move to break from it, in the unfamiliar position of not knowing quite what to tell to a man who seemed so happy to see her yet had never given any sign of caring in the past twenty years. 

He finally broke the embrace and held Evelyn at arm's length. He had turned into a handsome man, with unruly sandy blond hair and a hint of beard. He did look like their father used to be. There was no way this was an imposter, and a node formed on her throat at the implication.

"Well? Do you have nothing to say?"

Evelyn realized she had not yet opened her mouth and tried to recover, not wanting to appear like a bumbling fool. "Victor. I was... not expecting a visit from you."

He dropped his arms, his expression turning somber. "I know. We have much to talk about, and I have much to be forgiven for. But I am happy to see you, Evelyn... or should I say Inquisitor?"

Which was it? As stupid as she felt to want that, she thought for the moment she preferred him not to get too familiar with her. She still had no idea of his plans. "It's Inquisitor." The word seemed so hard to pronounce, despite the reaction she expected to have at the sight of him. "And I suppose you are now Lord Trevelyan? What of our parents?" In a way she dreaded hearing the response, but she was aware that he would not be representing the family if their father was still alive and well. Victor seemed sad at her reply.

"If that is what you want..." He shook his head. "Our parents are still in Ostwick... Inquisitor. Father's health has been deteriorating in the past years, and the handling of our affairs has fallen to me. Thus they decided not to come in this trip, and mother of course has stayed to look after him. Besides, none of us thought you would have liked to reconnect with them. And neither with me, as I gather."

Evelyn nodded. It was nothing strange, and she felt almost nothing but resentment for the people that had been her parents. "A good choice on their part," she said, not quite making it clear whether she referred to their staying behind or giving the estate to Victor. "Frankly, I am surprised to see even you here, Vi... Lord Trevelyan. I suppose you have some deals you needed to discuss with our Ambassador?" It was hard to remember the title when all she had ever known him as was his name.

"I do have some things to discuss, yes. But, as hard as it may be for you to believe, I also wanted to see you. It's not about your position, but I thought it was a good chance for me to try and make up for what happened. Unless it's already too late, of course." His eyes searched Evelyn's, but she was still unwilling to give him a definitive answer. She did not have one yet., so she kept the coldest disposition she could muster. His arrival had elicited too many contrasting feelings and she needed some time and space to sort them out, but forgiving him just because he had showed up was out of question. Leliana was probably a good choice for counsel should she decide she needed it.

"I look forward to our talk, Lord Trevelyan. You will have to excuse me now, as I have just arrived from a long travel. I will let you know when we may talk." That said she nodded in his and Josephine's general direction and left the room trying not to look like she was escaping. She closed the door behind her and sighed, her eyes turned to the ceiling. "Maker, give me the strength."

* * *

Cassandra wiped her brow and took position again in front of her practice dummy. She had noticed the man who was observing her - Evelyn's brother, she had gathered - but was determined not to let him distract her. Instead, knowing he was part of the family that had abandoned her friend when she was barely a young girl, she summoned some of the outrage she had felt when she had heard the story and loaded her sword arm with it, resulting in a swing that nearly decapitated the wooden tool. She heard the impressed murmur of the man and wiped her brow, suppressing her irritation. She did not need some noble prancing about excitedly when she was practicing. Or ever.

"I am impressed," he said, strolling closer to her.

She sighed inwardly and repositioned herself in front of the dummy, knowing she could not be excessively rude to him or she'd never hear the end of it.

"I was wondering if we could spar a little bit?" He continued, crushing her hope that he would just go away if she did not pay him attention. "I would like to know how I fare against such a consumed warrior, Lady..."

She turned around, not having to feign being unamused. Hopefully her disposition would discourage him. "Pentaghast. I am Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast." His subsequent bow made her want to puke in disgust. What was about nobles that forced them to be so overly ceremonious? 

"I am honored, Lady Pentaghast," he replied undeterred. "Will you indulge me, then?"

She hesitated. It was her duty, as Josephine repeatedly told her, to make guests feel at home. And he did not even know the reason for her resentment towards him. "I suppose I could," she conceded. Maybe a good beating - all in the name of a good demonstration, of course - would get him off her back. She led him to the practice circle. "Do you have a practice weapon or should I find you one?"

"Practice weapon? Why, let us just use normal ones. I am sure we are both more than capable to handle ourselves and not kill each other unwittingly." She raised an eyebrow at the uncommon suggestion while he nodded to his servant, who scurried off in the direction of the stables. "Unless that is a problem for you, my Lady?" His grin let her understand that his question was meant to provoke a reaction. She did not approve his choice, but what could she say? She took pride in her skills and would not give him any satisfaction.

"Of course not."

The servant returned with a richly ornamented sword in an equally elaborate scabbard and what looked like a decorative shield; Cassandra wondered whether either piece of equipment had ever seen battle. 

"This was handed to me by my father. It has been a family heirloom for generations," he explained with a hint of pride as he showed the sword, treating it like it was a delicate jewel.

"I am sure it has served your family well, Lord Trevelyan," she said. So maybe the sword had seen battle, but likely not in the last hundred years. "Shall we?" The earlier they started, the earlier they would be done.

"Of course." He dismissed the servant and took position in the sparring circle, sizing Cassandra up. After a few seconds of circling around each other, Victor launched an attack that Cassandra easily sidestepped, while Trevelyan was easily unbalanced. She could have finished right then and there, but she thought it wise to avoid completely humiliating him - yet.

She attacked with one of her usual openings, getting a vigorous rebuke; Trevelyan then swung his sword with great strength and met her shield. He was trying to use brute force to defeat her, but there was more to a battle than that, as even two handed fighters knew. she wondered if he was trying to impress her with a show of force. Maybe he should have borrowed Iron Bull's hammer for that. They kept dancing like that for a while, and Cassandra could not help but notice how flimsy the shield really was. She purposely sought to hit it, leaving visible dents in it. The man really needed better equipment if he meant to do this activity more often. Tiring of his antics, since he could not seem to catch her off guard unless she let him, she bashed him with her shield, divested him of his own and pointed her sword at his neck, drawing a surprised stare and making him raise his hands in surrender.

"Well, looks like I did not choose well my opponent," he said a little too cheerfully. "I will make sure to take some lessons before trying again." He paused and gave her a meaningful look. "Unless... you'd be willing to give me some? That would be even better."

Disgusted, Cassandra did not even try to make it look like she thought about it. "I am sorry, but I am too busy for that kind of thing. I am sure one of the other soldiers would be willing to accommodate you."

"Pity. But I understand you have better things to do. It has been an honor to know you."

* * *

Evelyn stopped and took a deep breath, exhaling it forcefully. What if all this was just to find out that Victor really wanted nothing more out of her but an advantage for his business? She forced herself to take the last few steps that separated her from the room that had been assigned to her brother, one of the best rooms reserved for important guests of the Inquisition. Victor was expecting her. He had been made to wait for a full day before she made herself available, mostly because her nerves did not settle quickly, but now she was aware that their encounter would likely shape the kind of relationship they would have in the future - if there was to be any. Talking to Josephine the night before had been helpful. Of course, the ambassador did not quite get the animosity she had with her own family, being so devoted to her own herself, but eventually she conceded that being abandoned by one's parents could have detrimental effects on their relationship. On the other side, Evelyn had trouble understanding how such a close relationship with family could occur. Josephine was almost sacrificing her own happiness to make her family safe, and it was equally difficult to imagine that level of devotion. But the thing Evelyn got out of the exchange was that she needed to try. With that in mind, she pushed the door open, finding Victor sitting at a table in front of a window, intent on writing something, a glass of wine half full on the side. She was surprised to find that the room was so large and well-furnished to rival her own. Stained glass decorated the windows, the furniture was made with fine woods inlaid with motives she recognized from Val Royeaux, the bedspread was intricately embroidered and – she suspected – very costly as well. The ambassador really wanted her guests to feel pandered. Evelyn could not help being saddened, thinking of the resources and efforts spent to get a few influential people to help, when the situation so clearly made supporting the Inquisition the only viable choice. 

Victor stood as she entered, performing a little bow that made uncomfortable. She had required the formalities, but she still did not like them. 

"Lord Trevelyan. I hope you are finding everything to your taste so far," she said, forcing herself to play the part she had chosen.

"Your people are very accommodating, Inquisitor. I have found everything suitable, thank you."

She sat down in front of him at the head of the table. She had never sat at the head of the table with him. That had always been reserved for father, of course. And when he was not home, Victor had taken the place, more to ease him into his role of successor than for his actual authority - he had been a kid, after all.

"Tell me, then. Why are you really here?"

"You don't waste any time, I see." He pushed aside his writing materials, leaving nothing between them. Had he been writing to the family back in Ostwick? Or was he just taking notes? "As I have told you, I thought it might be good to see you again, other than just deal with your personnel by letter."

She frowned. It was hard to believe such a reason considering how he had not bothered to see her while she was living in the same city as him.

"I am sure then that your visit has nothing to do with improving your standing in Ostwick."

Victor frowned, the flare of his nostrils revealing annoyance, but Evelyn did not miss how he averted his eyes and took his time to reply, reassuring her that she was right to suspect his motives. 

"Of course, the dealings father sent me to secure will benefit both the family and the Inquisition. It is, after all, why these deals are made, no?"

"Father sent you? I thought you were in control of the family business now."

"Well, yes, I am. But that does not mean that father is already willing to leave everything to me."

"So his idea was that you come here and try to get in my good graces other than just seal some contract with my ambassador."

He grimaced. "Look, Ev... Inquisitor, do not put it that way..."

His reticence and deviousness were starting to be too much and she could not repress a little heat in her response. "Which way should I put it? It is quite evident what the game is here." 

Victor sighed and slumped in his seat. "All right, I understand you will not take my explanations at face value. Let me tell you how really things are, I'm sure you will understand. It is true, father wanted to be on the Inquisition's good side after he heard about what you did in Halamshiral. He also suggested that I come and try to coax you into displaying more favor to me because I'm your brother and we used to get along well..."

"That is what I thought," she said gritting her teeth. At least he was being sincere. "They still don't give a shit about me." Despite having suspected that much, a knot formed in her throat making it hard to speak. She hated that she was still not over that betrayal.

Victor hesitated, looking into the depth of the ruby red wine in the glass he was holding. "I could tell you that they have repented and were hoping I could get you to forgive them..." He sighed. "I do not think you would accept a lie, Evelyn. I cannot tell you that because they have not changed. They still think you shamed them back then, and even more now because you could make them look like fools for shunning you."

The mage closed her eyes and nodded, grateful for the truth but shaken nonetheless. Deep down, maybe she had still believed that they loved her like a daughter. She would have to make do with the memories she had of the various tutors that had taken care of her in the Circle.

"But there's more. I know you have no reason to want to recover our relationship, but I felt I needed to try. You do not know what happened after you were... after that day. I never wanted to abandon you."

Evelyn put her hands in her hair; this was getting too much and she was starting to doubt her ability to recognize the truth in what she was hearing. She had no choice but to ask him to elaborate, as much as it pained her to have to revisit those times.

"Explain."

Victor stood, taking his glass on wine and pacing in front of the window that gave to the most recent part of the courtyard. "I tried to get to you. I asked our parents for days to know where they had sent you, but they would not tell me. Eventually I overheard them talking and found out. I was so shaken. I had no idea you had been taken away forever."

"Go on."

"I tried to sneak out many times. They always had someone to bring me back before I could get too far from home. I guess trying to steal a horse, even my own, when servants were around was beyond my abilities. Our parents must have warned them not to let me go too far."

"I can understand that. You were young, you had no business going around on your own."

"I was not that young. I was fifteen. Regardless, even the times I made it to the Circle years later, I found the personnel there deny me entry."

"What?"

"Yes. I tried, told them I was your brother, but they sent me away. I left letters, but you never replied. The Templars always told me they had better things to do than force you to write to me."

"No. They never even gave me those letters," Evelyn remembered the painful first years of her stay, hoping someone would make her feel still part of the world but having no sign from her family.

"So a few years later when I had some money of my own, I took to sending you packages. Clothes, trinkets I knew you would like... I had a few people promise they would deliver them, but I bet they inspected the packages very well. Did they at least give you those?"

"Wait a second, you sent me gifts? We were given everything we needed but it was usually through standard channels. I remember being given a few things directly though... So it was you?"

"Yes!" He smiled. "So you did get them! You can't understand how relieved I am to hear that. I never had confirmation of the deliveries."

"Maker, what were those people thinking? Nobody ever told me they were from you! I thought sometimes we just got good stuff, but I never questioned where it came from." she was close to tears, thinking how much solace knowing Victor was thinking of her could have given her. "Whenever I was given something extra, some of my colleagues received things as well. Now I think they split the content of the packages rather than make it obvious they were for me."

"They... never told you?" Victor almost whispered, in disbelief. "How cruel can people be to a kid?"

"Not just a kid. A mage, remember? I suppose the coin of the Trevelyans is worth keeping a kid miserable," Evelyn reflected, nauseated by the callousness of her former minders.

"I am so sorry. I never imagined..." He started pacing again. "At some point I stopped visiting because I thought you didn't want to get contact from me."

"So you did not even try to get to see me again."

He shook his head. "I know I should have. At some point, I thought you did not want to hear from the family anymore. But I know it is a lame excuse. I stopped trying."

Aside from the horrible things her parents did, that was the single thing that prevented Evelyn from fully accepting his excuses.

"So why now?"

"It is probably the last chance I get. If things go bad, we may not even have the chance to see each other again. I did not want to give up. You are my sister. I don't care that you are a mage."

Tears started flowing from Evelyn's eyes. It was overwhelming; there was no way she could have predicted that a relative would have made her miss her family again, but Victor... maybe she had judged him too harshly.

Victor crossed the room and embraced her, making it more real to Evelyn that it was not just a flight of her imagination. She separated from him when the tears subsided. "I accept your excuses. But I have one condition for your further dealings with the Inquisition."

Her brother looked at her expectantly. 

"You may not use my name, or make it look like the Trevelyans are endorsed personally by me. You may not claim special connection to me or to the Inquisition. I am sorry, but nobody, especially your parents, are going to take advantage of me and my people."

Victor's hurt was apparent, but he nodded in silence. "I... suppose I can understand that. It is more than enough for me, as long as we try to stay in touch. I know you are terribly busy, but I don't want to lose you again."

"It is fair enough. I will try to keep in touch whenever I can."

“Please do. One of the things that sadden me most is that you never got to see my wife. I cannot undo that now. But I can at least try to avoid repeating the same mistake.”

“Your wife? So you were married? What happened to her?”

He nodded, but his solemnity gave Evelyn a bad feeling that was confirmed by his next words. “I was married… her name was Elsa. The fever took her from me four years ago. I wish you could have met her.”

“I am so sorry, Victor.”  
He nodded. “We had no children. I suppose the Maker did not bless our marriage. I refused to remarry for years, but now I'm starting to feel the loneliness, and I’m not getting any younger."

“I understand. I wish for you to find happiness.”

"Thank you. You know, coming here might have been even more positive than I thought possible.”

“How so?”

“Not only I have hope for us to become a family again, I have also met someone. I think she’s special.”

"You did? That's great, I suppose."

"Yes, isn't it? She's a bit hardened, but I'm sure she’d mellow out with marriage. Gave me a good beating in the practice area."

Evelyn frowned. He could not be talking about Cassandra. Please, Maker, let him be interested in any of Cullen's soldiers... "So, you talked to her? Does she know you are interested? And who is it, by the way?"

"We did not talk much, but I did some inquiries. She comes from a noble family, so that means she would be a very good fit for me. I'm very excited. I think I'm going to propose after dinner. She's Lady Pentaghast. I gather that she helps you often in your missions?"

Evelyn kept her facade, as much as she wanted to shout to him that no, she was off limits for him. "She is one of the most important members of the Inquisition, Victor. She does not just help me in missions."

"Good. Good. Do you think you could... nah, that would be too much to ask after we have barely reacquainted.”

"Yes, it would definitely be too much."

He looked surprised at her answer, likely expecting her to volunteer instead. There was no way she could do that.

"Fair enough. I guess it was too much to hope you would be happy for me."

Evelyn would gladly be happy, were his aim on any other person. She let him have the wrong impression instead of explaining. “I wish you luck, Victor. That’s the best I can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late update, but here we are. I hope you'll enjoy the chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

It was meant to be the last formal gathering with her brother. The Inquisition would be leaving in a couple of days for Adamant fortress, and preparations for the mission needed to be completed. Evelyn was sad that she had so little time with her brother after their reconnection, but it was still more than she would have thought possible just a few days before. They were dining in the largest hall in Skyhold, and other visiting dignitaries were present, increasing Josephine's odds of making a good impression with a careful attention to their needs and a show of other important connections. Josephine was seated strategically close to the other visitors, who had come from all parts of Thedas, while Victor was seated to Evelyn's left, though Leliana was sitting between them, so as to avoid giving him more status than the family deserved. He was still close enough that they could talk, but Evelyn noticed that he seemed more interested in engaging the Seeker in conversation. Cassandra was visibly suffering through the dinner, but seemed otherwise rather indifferent. Evelyn could not help but be drawn in that silent negotiation - although rather one sided at the moment - hoping the Seeker was not interested, and at the same time appalled by her own selfishness. There was very little chance the woman would take an interest in her, after all. Might as well wish for her brother to be happy instead. She observed the woman more closely for clues as to how she might react to Victor's attentions.

"Evelyn? Is everything all right?" Leliana asked, drawing Evelyn from her thoughts. She realized with horror that she must have spaced out and turned to the spymaster, trying to seem nonchalant. "Of course, I was just thinking. Were you saying?"

Leliana gave her a look that told Evelyn she did not buy it, but did not object. "Just saying this venison is delicious. Is it not right, Lord Trevelyan?", she said to Victor, who was seating to her left.

"Very. It could rival even our best dishes. I suppose the mountain air here is very good."

"Indeed. We have been lucky to get such a place, though transportation has been difficult to organize." 

Evelyn still was not used to seeing Leliana go from devoted spymaster to carefree socialite with seemingly no effort. She must have been a great bard in her time, but luckily she had turned her talents to a better cause. The mage mostly tuned off the small talk, taking small bites out of her plate, glancing to the suffering Seeker from time to time. That way she found that the warrior was also following the conversation, just discreetly. Was she interested in Victor after all? Her glances seemed to fall that way from time to time, but she could not read what she might be thinking.

"I’m sure your job must not be easy. I am sure my sister is more than a handful," she heard him say, but could not identify the original topic. "I hope she is not giving you too much trouble on the field. It must be hard to deal with a mage on top of everything else..." he said to Cassandra, whose mood turned darker in a moment. He must have drunk too much wine, Evelyn realized looking at his red cheeks and nose. The strong wine and thin mountain air must not have been a good combination for his constitution.

"I would be mindful of the way you talk about the Inquisitor, Lord Trevelyan," the Seeker warned, with a tone drew embarrassed looks from the other guests around them. Victor cleared his voice and lowered his eyes: the color spread to his neck and ears, "I- I did not mean any offense, of course. As her brother, I was just relaying some of my experience. And we all know mages require a little extra attention." he added. "He he, right?" he tried to recover, looking around to find some people nod in consent with him, finding none. Evelyn pinched her nose in irritation. As much as she wanted to put him in his place, she preferred not to cause a scene. Her brother had done enough to humiliate himself and that displeased her, for she knew he was not ill intentioned. He had always liked to provoke her, but his brand of humor was ill suited for that kind of topic, especially in consideration of her new role. She was saddened that he found out the hard way. Cassandra, however, was not so inclined to overlook his faux pas; she stood, throwing her napkin on the table and facing him with a vitriolic look.

"How dare you mock the Inquisitor at her table, and after what you have done to her? Maybe she has a duty to withstand your presence, but I don't. I won't spend another minute with you." She paused and looked at the other guests and Josephine. “I… apologize for the disruption. I will show myself out.” With a nod of her head she took her leave with controlled strides.

"Please, Lord Herinol, try some of this wine,” Josephine’s honeyed voice filled the silence. “It's delicious. Have you noticed how they never come in the same shade? This, for instance..." she went on to try to restart the conversation on her side of the table, trying to avoid a diplomatic disaster. Leliana also recovered and saw it fit to try to appease Victor. "Do not mind the Seeker, Lord Trevelyan. She has had a rough couple of days. They are all going on a difficult battle the day after tomorrow, on top of that."

Victor gave a disparaged look at Evelyn, who shook her head. He had gone too far with the jokes, and Cassandra... well, she was given to outbursts, but since she had taken so personally an offense to her persona, she wanted to make up to her somehow, so she stood, and to the void with etiquette for once. "I am sorry; I need to take care of something. I will see you later. Lord Trevelyan," she added with a slight bow.

She scurried out of the room, seeing Cassandra's retreating figure go up the stairs that led to the balconies. She followed, but had to go more slowly than her due to the fancy dress Josephine had recommended she wear for the guests. Cassandra was leaning on the balcony, thoughtfully looking out, and did not turn when she arrived. Evelyn positioned herself beside her, unsure of what to say.

"I am sorry, Inquisitor. I did not intend to cause a scene."

"It is Josephine you should be worried about, Cassandra," she said to make the atmosphere lighter. "And now that I think about it, I probably should, too. Good thing we leave soon."

Cassandra turned to face her, her expression unaffected by the levity in Evelyn’s words. "I know I had no right to speak on your behalf, but... I could not take it. He had no right to speak that way after what you have had to suffer from your family."

Evelyn smiled, not even realizing the woman had taken to heart her remembrances of her youth. "Thank you. It means a lot to hear that. But he does not mean ill. He has been trying to make up for what happened."

"Oh. That is good. But it was still inappropriate."

"Yes. But it was fun to see you come to my rescue."

Cassandra gave her a sad smile and looked back outside, leaning on the balustrade. "I feel like I should explain. I do not think I ever told you about Anthony." The mage frowned, not having heard the story about her brother before. Cassandra had deflected her inquiries the few times she had tried. "He was my older brother. My parents... you heard about them. Anthony was the only one left to me. I looked up to him. We were close. We were going to become dragon hunters together when I grew up" She sighed, hanging her head. "That day never arrived. He was killed by blood mages because he refused to help them. I was still a kid."

The color drained from Evelyn's face. No wonder Cassandra had misgivings about mages being free. In fact, she was now surprised that she was not more suspicious. "That is terrible. It must have been hard."

"It was. It's why I wanted to join the Templars, but I was steered to the Seekers instead. What I mean is, I do not understand your family shunning you. I would have given anything to get mine back. That's why I could not stand to see someone of your family make such disparaging comments."

"I understand better now. I am sorry you had to go through all that."

Cassandra faced her again and smirked, "I suppose now we are even." She was so close; Evelyn could imagine kissing her. She wanted nothing more in that moment. She got a little closer and in a bold move took the Seeker's hand. "I am glad you shared that with me," she almost whispered, looking in the deep pools of Cassandra's eyes. The warrior looked at their hands, then back to Evelyn's eyes. Evelyn waited with baited breath for her to lower her head a little and meet her lips, already half parted in anticipation. "I am glad too," Cassandra replied squeezing her hand. A second later, she gently let go of Evelyn's hand and retreated. "I... I better go," she murmured before turning and going down the stairs. Evelyn stood there frozen, her heart breaking in a myriad of shards. Cassandra had refused her.

* * *

Cassandra spent the rest of the day avoiding most human contact and berating herself for her almost loss of control with the Inquisitor. She had thought she had seen Evelyn expecting a move on her part, but even if that was true, it did not make her intentions right. They were in the middle of a war, risking their lives every day, and all she could think about was distracting the leader, the figure that the Maker had sent to help them. There was more than that, of course. Her fear was overwhelming ever since she had lost two more people that were ever close to her. Now all she had left was Leliana... and Evelyn. It was too much to fathom that she could lose either of them, but to willingly try to have a relationship with the mage was foolish. She polished her armor twice, making it shiny and clean like it was new. Her armor was the same she had worn for years, now so perfectly fitting and comfortable that she rarely swapped it even for the fancier stuff that Harritt and the Arcanist could provide. In the end, she always returned to her tried and true gear, preferring the comfortable feeling of something that never failed her.

She practiced in the afternoon, when the training grounds were empty, and took walks in the garden in the twilight hours to enjoy the peace. She then stopped at the chapel and kneeled in an alcove under a statue of Andraste. Even that image brought her mind back to Evelyn, her moniker impossible to separate from the sacred figure in front of her. Still she tried to concentrate, to ask for the guidance that lately had seemed to fail her. She prayed for balance, for the strength to keep her mind free of distractions and carry on with her duties. She had much to do besides her work with the Inquisition. Gathering the remaining Seekers and give a new life to the order was the first thing she needed to take care of, but now even that seemed so secondary when her life felt so empty and the temptation of happiness hung in front of her like an easy prize. She prayed harder, hoping to recover the faith and serenity that had marked most of her life as a Seeker.

When she left, walking back to the door that led to the main courtyard she found a shadow standing beside it. Instinct kicked in and she tensed, not recognizing the figure in the dark. She approached warily and when she was close enough she recognized the features of Evelyn's brother. She braced herself for whatever the fool wanted, since he seemed to be waiting for her.

"Lady Pentaghast. It is a pleasure to see you."

"Did you need something?"

"Ah, you must still be angry at me, and with good reason. I just wanted to apologize. I'm afraid you have not seen me at my best earlier today."

Cassandra nodded. "I certainly hope so."

He seemed confused by her answer and hesitated. "I- I really did not mean those things I said. I'm sure Evelyn already told you, but... I wanted to make sure there was no doubt about this. I fully support the Inquisition, and the fact that my sister is at the head of it makes me proud beyond words."

"I understand. Was there anything else?"

"I'm not making much of an impact with you, am I? Look, let us try to start over. I would like a proper introduction this time, and I am willing to do what it takes to get to know you better."

Cassandra was unsure she had heard correctly. "You… what?"

"Ah, it's so... difficult to do this after so many years. I would like to make your acquaintance properly, Lady Pentaghast. I am sure we could have much to talk about eventually. And maybe we could enjoy each other's company?"

It was so odd to hear those words with so much hesitation in them. Cassandra supposed the man had taken an interest in her. He was not unpleasant to the eye, but he was definitely off the mark as far as her interests went. The only attractive trait was that he was Evelyn's brother. How strange was fate, forcing her to pull herself from the mage while the lord her brother tried to approach her instead.

"I am... grateful for your interest, Lord Trevelyan, but I am sure you would find more suitable companionship elsewhere. I am a Seeker and a member of the Inquisition, and there lies my devotion."

He hung his head in defeat, a scene that made him more sympathetic in Cassandra's eyes but did not sway her decision. It was better to stop his aspirations in the bud. "I understand. I just hope I did not leave you with a completely negative memory of me. I could not forgive myself in that case."

"Then you may rest assured that it is not the case, Lord Trevelyan. I have no bad blood towards you."

"That is at least a small consolation. I hope you will succeed in your endeavors, Lady Pentaghast."

She nodded and passed him to go back to her quarters, feeling more worn out than before; the bitter irony of the encounter making her uneasy. If she had been differently inclined, Lord Trevelyan would have been a good catch. She wished for him to find a good match instead.

* * *

Cullen's troops started moving out the next day, as planned. Evelyn's party would leave only the day after, giving the soldiers time to gain some terrain, since her group traveled faster. That left some time for further planning, but also time to dwell on the burning wound that had started to fester after Cassandra's unspoken refusal. Thankfully Victor was still there and she could catch up with him instead of spending her free time brooding. She was walking the perimeter with him, enjoying the simple moments spent in the company of her brother.

"Tomorrow you will leave for the Western Approach, I have heard."

"Yes. We will catch up to Cullen's men in a couple of days."

"I am worried about that, Evelyn. Adamant fortress is well known for its role in the blight and I know you will not be in the good side of it."

"I know of its reputation. We planned this assault very thoroughly. It will be bloody, but we have good chances. Our people should outnumber the defenders."

"The problem will be getting in."

"We have siege machines. It's all planned out. My people know what they are doing."

"I know, I'm sorry.” He sighed. “It is hard even after all these years to hear you talk about your people, only they are not your family, or even the Circle."

"The Circle never really was my family. We were just forced to be there all together. It is impressive we were civil enough not to start rival bands."

He looked at her with surprise written on his face. "Really? I heard the Circle in Ostwick was rather tame."

"It was. I was not talking about politics, Victor, I was just talking about people being people. Imagine a place where you cannot really avoid those you don't like, and some kind of jailors that enjoy watching you squirm when they have you paired up to work with someone you don't get along with. That is something that happened regularly. It made things all the more miserable."

"I never thought about things that way. It really must have been like a prison."

"In a way, I suppose it was. But enough of that. We have these last moments together; we should spend them on lighter things."

"Don't make it sound like it's the last time we see each other. I'm planning to attend to your victory celebration."  
"Just promise you won't bring our parents."

He laughed. "I won't, don't worry." He sobered a little at the thought. "I'm sorry about them. There really was nothing I could..."

"Hush, don't apologize on their behalf. They do not deserve it. And I'm looking forward to having some nephews, so you can bet I'm not counting on this to be the last day we see each other."

"Ah, right. I hope I'll find a suitable companion soon. And one day I'll want to see your family too, you know, when you are not too busy saving the world."

"Yeah, right." 

"What?"

"I'm not sure I'll have any."

"Any what? Family or children?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She sighed. Might as well tell him instead of letting him keep wondering. "Look, I... wait, how did it go with the Seeker? Did you propose after all?"

He shook his head, immediately crestfallen. "No, I didn't even get that far. She turned me down well before that."

Evelyn laughed though she was not without sympathy. "I am sorry. Well, not really, but...” She took a deep breath, knowing the information she was about to share might not sit well with him. “Victor, I'm afraid I'm in love with her."

Victor stared at her, unable to speak for a while. "But... But…” He shook his head. “Why did you not tell me? You must not have been pleased when I told you... Oh, what a disaster," he said cradling his head in his hands.  
"Do not worry. It turns out she's not interested in me after all.” It was hard to say those words, but the earlier she admitted it, the earlier she’d get over it. Hopefully. “I had gotten the wrong impression at some point. But my point is, I prefer women. Unless I end up adopting, it's unlikely I will have children of my own."

"I understand. But would that not be inconvenient with your status? You must know nobles don't look kindly upon their peers who prefer the company of the same sex."

"You make a good point, but I am not the head of a noble family, after all. And I think we could set a new precedent, don't you think?"

"I like your optimism. I hope you will find a worthy companion soon, Evelyn."

"Thank you, Victor. It has been good to speak about this."

“Inquisitor? There you are!”

To Evelyn’s surprise, the Arcanist had apparently ran to the battlements and was standing there, breathless but jovial as her usual. “Were you looking for me, Dagna?”

“Your Worship, have you forgotten? We must fit your new armor before you leave tomorrow! Possibly with some time left for me to actually be able to make the adjustments you need…”

The mage had completely forgotten about her appointment. After the unpleasant launch the day before, Evelyn had found she had little energy for anything that was not pertaining the plans for the attack. 

“I’m so sorry, Dagna. I’ll go with you right now, so we can get this done and over with.”

“Oh, but I did not mean to interrupt, Inquisitor. You can come by later…”

“No, let us go now. I’m sure you have better things to do than wonder when I’ll arrive to let you finish your job. Victor, I’ll see you later.”

Her brother nodded. Evelyn followed the diminutive arcanist down the stairs and then into the main building and to the undercroft, all the while listening to her rambling about the exciting – for Dagna, anyways – improvements she had in mind for the equipment.

“So what do you think?” The dwarf asked as she closed the door to her realm. “It’s going to be great, isn’t it? And probably won’t cause any accidents either.” Dagna was beaming. Her enthusiasm was infectious, but she’d be damned if she could remember a single detail of what the Arcanist had just proposed. She smiled to her, figuring the dwarf had earned her faith in crafting matters. “Just make sure nobody gets hurt – and no property gets destroyed – when you figure things out. For the rest, you have my approval, for what it’s worth.”

“Yes! I promise, I won’t let you down, your Worship!”

Evelyn waited patiently while Dagna and Harritt pieced together the armor parts to check that it fit correctly. It was mostly leathers and cloth, but the extra care the two were taking and the expensive enchantments used drove home the dangers she would be facing in the Western Approach. And even if we win tomorrow, there’s still a possibly immortal darkspawn I have yet to defeat. Fear had not stopped her in her first encounter with Corypheus, and it would not do it now. But she needed all her attention on the coming battle. She could not let everyone down because she had her own personal pains to deal with.

* * *

"Well, what do you think? We did keep those dignitaries, didn't we? Or were they all scared away by Lord Trevelyan's and Cassandra's show?"

Josephine turned her attention from an apparently interesting point on the wall back to the spymaster. "Leliana. Sorry, I was thinking. What did you just say?"

"Josie? You were distracted?” Leliana approached the Ambassador’s desk to better scrutinize her friend at the light of the candle. “That never happens. What’s wrong?"

"I am sorry I just had some... distressing news. I will get back to my duties immediately, of course. Did you need something?"

Leliana shook her head, knowing that something was definitely wrong; Josephine had not been so strange even when she had received news about the assassins after her family. She sat at the corner of the desk as her usual and crossed her arms. "Spill it out. What's wrong?" She just hoped it was not about some trouble with Blackwall or she would have to kill him.

"I...” Josephine lowered her eyes and fidgeted with the collar of her dress. “I just found out I'm engaged."

Leliana stayed silent, incredulous. She knew this moment would have eventually arrived, but now she knew she was hardly ready to confront it. But something about her wording was off. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, how is it that you just found out about it?"

"It is as it sounds," Josephine said, standing and walking the few steps to the fireplace. "I did not know my parents were looking for a match for me. And now apparently they have found one." Her tone of voice and the ample hand gestures that betrayed her Antivan origins said a lot about her distress.

"So... are you worried about it?"

"I am. I do not know this man, though his reputation is good. I just... did not imagine things to be this way."

"What do you mean?"

"I would rather marry for love, Leliana. Is it so hard to understand?" Josephine seemed offended, but the truth was, Leliana was seriously suspecting that her family's reputation counted more than the actual person she would end up marrying. It was a good thing that her friend was proving her wrong, though that still did not make her position any better.

"I'm sorry, I just was not aware of your plans. So, what do you intend to do?"

"I cannot very well break the engagement off without having a good reason to do so. And it looks like the man is a good person, so..."

"Are you worried you'll end up with a stranger? I could do something to..."

"No! Leliana, I do not wish to ruin the life of a man just because my parents made a choice in my stead."

"Well, then... do you intend to go through with it?"

"I do not know. It looks like I have no other choice!" Josephine sounded exasperated. 

"Maybe you could... make up a previous arrangement and get rid of him."

"That... that would be sneaky. And who would do it for me?"

"I don't know. I'm sure plenty of people would be willing to play as your fiancé," Leliana replied, making sure to inject some innuendo in her voice.

Josephine broke eye contact, blushing. "Now you are exaggerating. I need to think about it. Maybe I could offer some deals, or..."

How Leliana was burning with the need to step in and confront this mysterious betrothed for Josephine. She could do it. She should. Would Josephine kill her then? She just had to find something that could rid Josephine of the problem while not endangering the man or his business or Josephine herself. How hard could it be?

"Would he cancel the engagement if it turned out that you are already with someone else?"

"Not automatically, no. He would have to defy the contender in a duel. As I said, there is no easy way out of it. Now you understand why I cannot ask someone to pretend."

Not even Blackwall? That was good to know. "I will think about this, Josephine. Don't worry too much, we will take care of the matter."

"I suppose.” She sighed. “I'm so selfish! The Inquisitor and a good part of Skyhold just left for a deadly battle and I'm here worrying about a combined marriage."

“Well, that can be a frightening prospect as well. Take some rest, Josephine. It will be all right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are heading towards the final chapters.  
> Thank you for reading and special thanks to those who take the time to comment!


	16. Chapter 16

As the last of her memories came back to her, Evelyn felt a jolt that wiped out her perceptions. In their place, images formed to reproduce the missing scenes the Terror demon had stolen from her memory. The puzzle that had been the day of the explosion was now complete, and with it a new sense of emptiness in the mage. It had not been Andraste to help her. No, and it had been her own fault, in a way, that the Divine had died. The woman had protected her, allowing her to come back from the Fade. And what was even worse, the Wardens had been already corrupted by the old Magister, and had helped him with his ritual, taking the Divine's life to power it. She fell to her knees, lost and in despair. There was so much wrong... the unspeakable horror that awaited them if they wanted to leave the Fade, and a Magister that had unleashed a power so great against Thedas sacrificing the highest servant of the Maker, aided by the most revered saviors of the lands. What chance did she have against all that?

"Sizzles, are you all right?" Varric asked kneeling beside her. "Here, drink some." She took the waterskin he offered and took a few sips, taking the time to catch her breath. All she wanted to do was curl up and cry; the situation only afforded her to take a minute to recompose herself. The fate of too many people was depending on what they did right there in the Fade. Constantly reminding herself of that was the only way to keep her going. 

"Thanks," she said returning the flask, and stood. "We should go on." 

The spirit that had assumed the Divine's features seemed friendly enough to help them get out, but even if it had wanted to trick them, they lacked any other option. The group wandered further in the grotesque territory, Hawke and the Warden Loghain bickering about whose group had the most responsibility in the current state of the world. Evelyn had learned that Hawke's sister was a Warden as well, and a mage, so Hawke's defense of mages was likely due to that relationship. She had a hard time imagining someone as sympathetic to the mages as Hawke seemed to have been, defending them from abuse when she lived in Kirkwall. Even though she had harbored that snake, Anders, who had helped throw Thedas into chaos. She still resented her for that, but with time she had learned to appreciate the sacrifices the woman had made and was still making to help.

It took many battles to get to the Terror; many demons had to be confronted but eventually, as a group, they arrived at the last obstacle before the rift that could let them escape the Fade. The friendly spirit helped one last time by distracting the horrific true form of the Terror, leaving the group to deal with a minor aspect. Its insect-like appearance made it one of the most horrendous things Evelyn had seen, but she focused on providing support for her companions and dealing as much damage as she could, whittling the demon's forces little by little. She put her training as Knight Enchanter to good use, managing to close in on the enemy almost unseen and dealing devastating damage up close. Devastating for humans, yet the demon was far more resilient than a mere human, even those in the corrupted forms of the Red Templars. She feared the party's energies would deplete before the demon went down and worked even more frantically to bring the battle to end.

The Terror's claws were sharp and long, forcing everyone without heavy armor to stay clear of them if they wanted to keep the meat on their bones. With good timing Evelyn was able to deal significant damage with her ethereal sword and retreat with a fade step with no consequence. Only one time she did not calculate well her retreat and ended up getting her shoulder nicked by the razor-like fingers; an explosion of pain made her scream and forced her to keep out of the fight as she recovered and stopped the bleeding.

Her companions, alarmed, called to her, but there was no time for them to stop fighting. When the pain subsided enough for her to function again, she got back in the fight. 

"Keep going, we are making it," she shouted to her friends to encourage them. The demon was showing signs of weakness, they only needed to keep working, for however long it took.

Cassandra, Blackwall and Iron Bull were constantly chasing the demon, alternating with the elimination of the minor nightmares that he was pulling out to confuse the group. Eventually the demon fell to the ground, finally lifeless. "Get to the rift!" Evelyn shouted, looking around to make sure everyone was ready.

The last to move were Hawke and Loghain. "Come on, we have to move," she shouted, but she noticed they were staring wide eyed at a point behind Evelyn. Confused, she turned to see what had gotten their attention, only to see the full form of the Terror approach at great speed. Out of instinct she moved aside, though the huge demon would have no trouble catching up to her. It would be on them before they could make it to the rift, and possibly try to use it to get out of the Fade.

"I will stay. You two go," Hawke said unsheathing her sword again.

"No, I should stay," the Warden immediately countered. 

"You need to rebuild the Wardens," Hawke replied, frustration seeping into her voice.

"There are others out there. You have still much to give."

It was an argument that they had no time to complete. In a moment, Evelyn decided for them. "Loghain..." 

He nodded. "I'll keep it busy. Good luck."

Hawke was still not moving, standing there looking at Loghain in shock while he went to face his death. Evelyn pulled her by the arm before time ran out for them as well as the Warden and gave the woman a shove through the rift to make sure she left before going herself. One thing was for sure, the Hero of River Dane had met his match that day.

With relief, Evelyn recognized that she had landed on the main square of the fortress, surrounded by her companions. After making sure all were accounted for, she raised her marked hand to close the rift. Finally, she could now catch her breath. The tension accumulated seemed to catch up with her and she felt like laying down for a few days. After all they had gone through, she'd had to sacrifice one more life. She had reasoned that Loghain was older, that the Wardens were mostly at fault for what had happened... but was it the right choice? The same reasoning could have been made for the rebel mages, who had caused a war that had spanned many countries.

"Inquisitor! You live! But... where is Loghain?" a Warden asked, followed by the other survivors. Evelyn stood, weary as if she had gained a few dozen years while in the Fade. 

"He did not make it."

"But... he was the most senior of us all! What will we do now?"

She looked around to her companions and the remaining Wardens. No one was willing to make that choice for her. No one even had the authority. What was the right thing to do? In that moment, she felt like crying in despair. The Wardens could be a liability, or a big help. Which was it? Considering how her choice to sacrifice Loghain might have crippled the order's future, she decided to give them one more chance, hoping they would not squander it. If she sent them away, then Orlais would be unprepared when the next blight came, and that was something she needed to keep in mind.

"You will help the Inquisition for now,” she shouted to be heard by everyone. “Those of you who need it will be trained. Those who make trouble will cause all of you to be exiled."

The Wardens acquiesced, though some of her companions protested. She didn't have the strength to deal with the dissent. She needed to take a breather.

"Let me take care of that", Solas said as soon as the crowd around her dispersed, immediately working on the wound on her shoulder. She had even forgotten about that, but now that the adrenaline was gone she felt the pain from his treatment. She waited impatiently for him to finish, tuning out the chatter and confusion of movements all around her, anticipating a few minutes of peace she was determined to take. Loghain's last moments, his determination and grim resignation were appearing in her consciousness despite her attempts to blank her mind.

* * *

She watched as Solas performed his magic to heal the Inquisitor's shoulder. 

She was still trembling for the adrenaline, for all that had happened in the Fade... As if the initial shock and fear for having ended up in the Fade like the Magisters of old had not been enough, they had witnessed more. The Divine appearing but then revealing she was not real, the betrayal of the Wardens, the horrific ritual they had performed to kill the only person who could have brought peace to Thedas. After all that, seeing Evelyn have a so close brush with death was too much, and rage was coursing through her veins, because she would have been unable to help and because the stubborn woman had once again risked herself too much. As soon as Solas finished, she went to the pale looking Inquisitor, falling into step with her as she walked away.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, Cassandra. It was just a graze, nothing Solas could not handle," the Inquisitor replied almost distractedly, turning at the nearest corner as if she knew the place by heart. Not paying attention to where they were going, Cassandra continued. "You realized how much you risked back there? How are we going to win this if you keep putting yourself in harm's way so mindlessly?" She could not keep her voice from taking a heated edge, her frayed nerves taking the advantage as their usual. 

"What? And how did I put myself at risk any more than anyone else?"

"You know perfectly well how much you risk every time you get so close to the enemy. And this enemy was a giant demon with claws!"

"And how were we supposed to fight it? As a Knight Enchanter, those I used were my most powerful spells! Or should I just have talked it to death, hoping to bore him into submission?"

"You were not alone in the fight! If you were not so stubborn, things would have gone more smoothly. You know we cannot risk you..."

Evelyn stopped and shouted. "That's enough with this story. If you care about the well-being of the mark so much, just cut my hand off and have a Mortalitasi keep it alive enough so you can flail it at rifts instead of me. So maybe that monstrosity will stop chasing me around!"

Cassandra's rage almost exploded at the mention of the mages characteristic of her home country, frustrated beyond belief that the woman could not even understand her point. "Dammit, Evelyn, are you so blind? I care about you more than I should!" She shouted so hard her voice almost broke. "I can't stand to see you hurt! I only want you to be safe!"

Evelyn's eyes grew larger and her posture relaxed from the fighting stance she had seconds before. "You... care?"

Frustrated by her own unwitting admission, Cassandra passed a hand through her hair and nodded. "Of course I do." She knew there was a more specific word for her feelings, but she still didn't want to pronounce it. She stood still as Evelyn advanced, drawn by the look of wonder and hope in Evelyn's eyes. Evelyn stopped right in front of her and gently took her hand. She raised her head just like she had that day in Skyhold when Cassandra had ruined an official dinner. But now she did not have the strength to retreat. Her hand was trembling in frustration and excitement: she squeezed Evelyn’s before dipping her head, claiming the full lips that beckoned her, making the contact last before withdrawing just enough to gauge her reaction. Evelyn seemed frozen, remaining with eyes half closed without making a move. Entranced by the sight before her, Cassandra kissed her again and disengaged her hands to bring them to the mage's hips, her fingers closing possessively. She deepened the kiss, her tongue gaining entrance in the mage's mouth. The onslaught of sensation made her lose contact with the outside world. How long had she wanted this, how long had she tried to deny her feelings. But when Evelyn sighed and brought her hands to her shoulders, she knew she had gone too far. Panic seized her. She was not ready. It was too risky to get lost in the Inquisitor; too real the possibility that either of them would die. What would become of her if something happened to Evelyn? She was not ready to contemplate that. Disentangling herself from the embrace, Cassandra took a step back, witnessing the confused look of the mage that soon turned to hurt. She knew this would break her heart. It would break her own too. But she had to do it, she repeated to herself. 

"I'm sorry. I... This was wrong of me." She turned and left the room, hoping the woman would forgive her, trying to put as much distance from her as she could.

* * *

The party's return from Adamant had an impact on Leliana. Evelyn had seen the Divine, or at least a spirit that had taken her shape; Leliana had wanted to know everything about that encounter and kept asking questions even after her debriefing. 

Evelyn knew her seneschal had been the one to suffer the most because of Most Holy's death, but she had not imagined to what extent. As Leliana's questions continued, she started to understand the state of mind she must have been in at the onset of the Inquisition and wondered how the woman could have even functioned back then with the events so fresh. So when the opportunity arose for her friend to get some closure in the shape of the Divine’s legacy for her, Evelyn accepted to accompany her to the chantry where the Divine used to serve before taking her title. She decided to stop there on the way to Val Royeaux for supplies for her party, so that it would only be a small detour. Of course, that also meant traveling with the whole party, the ambassador included. As with the return trip from the Western Approach, this one had been marked for Evelyn by Cassandra's complete avoidance of her presence. It was even harder than believing she had no chance with the Seeker; the woman had left her with her hope risen and almost immediately crushed, and now she refused to talk any further with her, unless it was about work. Evelyn hoped that phase too would pass, but her heart had been broken enough and she did not see how things could go back to normal between them. On top of that, the battle at Adamant and the fall into the Fade were still haunting her. She knew sacrifices had to be made, but for her to choose who would live or die so directly as she had done with Loghain was hard to swallow. She could not help wondering what would happen if one day she was required to choose between Cassandra's life and someone else's. Would she be able to make the right choice? Maybe the Seeker was right to avoid further development in their relationship. The trip alone with Leliana to the sacred place would hopefully give her some peace of mind for a while.

The temple was unassuming from the outside. It was small, but the amount and quality of the decor made her think that it had undergone some renovations after the Divine had ascended to the sunburst throne. Not even a small chantry like that one was immune from politics, it appeared. Her companion was also studying her surroundings, but it was apparent she was calculating rather than appreciating the precious paintings. From a chamber appeared a sister. Startling Evelyn. So the place was not completely empty. 

She politely dodged the woman's clumsy attemps at ingratiating her and followed her exchange with Leliana. The former bard was friendly, even overly so, towards the Sister, and that made Evelyn suspect something was up. She left the scheming to Leliana, instead she looked for clues as to where the hidden treasure could be, following the riddles Leliana was reading and keeping an ear on the conversation. The sister seemed also very interested in finding Divine Justinia's legacy to the former bard. A few levers scattered in the most disparate places finally revealed the hiding place the Divine had chosen. And as suspected, the Sister showed her true face. A spy for a Revered Mother. As if they had not enough problems. She wished she was in a position where she could influence the Chantry, but even so she knew she could not remove the backstabbing and hidden agendas. A position of power, even one as important for the well-being of the people such as the Divine, would inevitably attract power hungry people.

Leliana pounced on the Sister, her knife suddenly under her chin as if she had conjured it out of thin air. A sudden movement and the Sister would pretty much kill herself in the blade. Leliana was cold and firm; Evelyn had no doubt her friend would not hesitate to kill the woman and think little of it. But it didn't have to be that way. She did not like to see this side of her. A killing machine with no feelings? No doubt that was something she had developed as a bard. The Inquisition should be better than that. She could not help but be reminded of the choices she’d had to make and how her actions as Inquisitor had taken a toll on her, but she could not imagine what could have brought someone like Leliana to become so adept at killing in cold blood. No doubt the woman would feel the weight of her actions, since she had proven to be a caring woman. It was all she could do to try and make her see that she had a choice, despite what her job, even under the Divine, had brought her to think. 

"Leliana. We don't have to kill her," Evelyn said from behind her. She knew the Sister would report back to her master and likely try something else, but it was not something big enough to cause worry to the Inquisition.

"We have to, Inquisitor. She's a liability, don't you see? We cannot let threats wander free to cause more problems in the future."

"What threat is she? We have discovered her game. She has only the support of a Mother that will soon be isolated. You can let her go."

Leliana stood still, her eyes boring into the Sister's, the knife still firmly held against her neck. The fear from the Sister was almost palpable, her breathing ragged as if inhaling too much would determine her fate. Leliana lowered her knife, drawing a surprised look from her captive. 

"Go. And make sure I don't see you again," she said to the Sister, who nodded in incredulity and took off running.

Evelyn waited for her to check the content of the cache revealed inside an alcove in the chantry. The woman inspected the exterior of the chest before taking its lid off, revealing to their surprise that it was empty. She checked it better, feeling the inside for hidden compartments, then turning it around to see if something was on the outside. Nothing. 

"Someone must have come before us!"

Evelyn shook her head. She was sure the hiding place had not been touched. But then why would the divine leave an empty chest?

"What if the container itself is the message? She did not specify what she had left, after all."

Leliana looked more closely at the container, inspecting every inch of it, until on the bottom she stopped. "There's something written here."

She said nothing else for a while. "What does it say?" 

"The left hand is free." Leliana replied. "She... she is releasing me."

"About time. I think you gave enough already. It is time you moved on."

"What? It was my duty, my life. She owes me nothing."

"And yet in the end she was plagued by what she had you do. Is it really any different from the life you led before?"

Evelyn could see it clearly. Subterfuge, assassinations, diversions... though the purpose, that was very different. The Divine had played with the lives of nations, but in the end it was for the good of all. Or at least, she had always believed so.

"She has used you, just like the ones before did. I am sure that is what was eating at her. She left you to do the dirty work, and in the end she wanted to give you respite from that. You don't have to be that person anymore."

Leliana scoffed. "As if it were true. Is it not what I still have to do for the Inquisition? Who else would do it if not me?"

"Leliana, I am not asking you to keep doing it. You are free to take whatever course of action you deem fit. I trust you implicitly."

Leliana smiled and shook her head.

"Thank you, Inquisitor. I will think about it."

* * *

"Look,I already told you I don't need any help" Leliana said as she walked to the rendez-vous point with Cassandra in tow. "You should go with the others to pick up equipment."

"But... you will need help. Support."

"Really, Cassandra. I'm starting to suspect something's happened with you and the Inquisitor. You have been trying to avoid her the whole trip while she looks at you with doe eyes."

"Wha… what makes you think so? It could have been anything else. And I was not trying to avoid her."

"You both have been strange lately, and we both know you are the one who has the most influence on her."

"That is not true."

"No? Then who is it?"

Cassandra shook her head. "Fine, I did something stupid. Happy now?"

"You did? What happened?" She asked, her curiosity piqued. In truth she had not really been interested up to that point, but talking helped her take her mind off the impending meeting.

"As I said, I did something stupid."

Damn Cassandra and her way of avoiding explanations. She always had to drag the words out of her mouth. "Like what?"

"I kissed her," Cassandra admitted after some hesitation.

"And?" Leliana prodded, feeling like she was pulling a stubborn mule.

"Then I left."

"Well, yes, that was pretty stupid."

Frowning in frustration, Cassandra protested. "That was not the stupid part!"

"Oh. Of course you’d think so, you stubborn moron." She shook her head. How did Cassandra even get so far in life? Kissing the woman she wanted and backing off. "What did she do? Did she refuse you?"

"Actually, no, but..."

Leliana sighed, not quite sure if it was more appropriate to be amused or frustrated. "I'll never understand you, Cassandra."

"You know what I think."

"I think you are just afraid. It's not written anywhere that you'd lose her, you know? It could go smoothly instead."

"Right. And we'll also talk things out with Corypheus next time we meet."

"If you never try, you don't know how things might go with her."

Tired of discussing with the Seeker, she focused on her current objective. The plaza was near, and she needed her disguise in place. "Help me put this on," she asked Cassandra holding up a hooded cape. The warrior picked it up, puzzled. "Why do you need this?"

"So that nobody will recognize me when I beat an obscure lord in the middle of the city."

"Why would you not want them to... nevermind, won't he ask to know who you are when you are done?"

"I don't plan on him being in a good enough condition to worry about my identity when we are done," Leliana said donning the clothes. Now she was just one of the many, nobody would identify her as the former hand of the divine. Not that many would know her, of course.

"I still can't believe this. A duel, Leliana? And you think I'm the crazy one."

"Such faith you have in me." She did feel a little crazy, but compared with falling in love with Marjolaine or joining the Hero of Ferelden, this was tame. "I know the type. They get fencing practice, but they hardly fight for their lives."

"I really hope you know what you are doing. If something happened to you..."

"Nothing will happen to me, Cassandra. Now go. We don't need people recognizing the Inquisition being involved with this."

"How does Josephine feel about this? I can't believe she'd let you enter a duel for her hand."

Leliana did not answer, instead opting to adjust the cape so that it would hide her features.

"Oh, this is just great," Cassandra said, understanding that Josephine was in the dark about her plan.

"I could hardly tell her, obviously. You better go now. You can just pretend you did not know about this."

Cassandra hesitated, conflict clearly written on her face. Her loyalty demanded that she help, but Leliana really needed to do this alone. "Please, Cassandra. I'll be fine, I promise."

Finally, she nodded. "I suppose there's no talking you out of this. Be careful."

"I will."

As the Seeker left, mixing in the crowd, she called upon all her concentration for the moments that would follow. Only a fool would take a duel too lightly, and she was not one of them. She only prayed nobody would know what she was doing. It would be a difficult act to defend as the seneschal of the Inquisition. Moving with sure steps through the crowd typical of a mid-morning near the market district, she felt for her knives out of habit, finding their presence reassuring. She had chosen them accurately. No poison, but the blades were trusted, as she had used them many times both to attack and to defend herself, even in the quiet of the Grand Cathedral. Soon a group of well-dressed people chatting among themselves caught her attention. According to the descriptions she had gathered, one of those men seemed to be Lord Otranto. She straightened her back and approached them, recognizing his family's crest on the jacket. A slender dueling sword was attached to his hip. The man did not seem unpleasant, but for his claim on Josephine she could not help but take an instant dislike of him. Noticing her approach, the people in his group tensed. 

"So, I have to assume you are the one who defied me?" he said bringing his hand to the hilt of his sword.

"I am."

He sized her up, unimpressed. "You have quite the gall to defy me in a duel, my Lady. You do realize this is real duel, yes? And I have won many in my life."

"I am ready when you are, Lord Otranto." It was polite of him to try to talk her out of the confrontation, but there was no need. What she needed was to finish fast and return to the group as if nothing had happened. "I wish we had met under more favorable conditions."

"Very well." He nodded to one of his lackeys, who handed her a sword much like the one Otranto was now wielding. She looked at it in confusion and it dawned on her that Otranto had chosen the weapon for the duel. 

"What is it, do you object to my choice of weapon? I am, after all the offended party here."

His mocking tone made her believe that he thought himself superior with a dueling sword. She would have to prove him wrong. Admittedly it had been some time since she'd had the last one, but some skills so well practiced were never lost.

"It's perfectly fine." She accepted the sword, weighing it and testing its grip, trying to adjust her posture with it. A sword after years of wielding knives felt a little foreign, but she counted on her muscle memory to return and soon. Otherwise... she would have a problem.

"Let us begin then." His people made a circle around them, herding the passing people away. Leliana was aware that some spectators were gathering around them, but paid them no heed. The time spent practicing with Isabela more than prepared her for the attention and the dueling itself.

The fight started slow, with both opponents sizing each other up, taking note of the respective stances and trying to figure out a good opening. It was thrilling, a show of cunning and ability that had always captivated Leliana, even when the consequences of failure were dramatic. Otranto tested her by lightly by hitting the tip of her sword, seeing if he could take her down easily. Leliana danced to the tune, parrying as if distractedly, feigning clumsiness. She liked to see her prey think they got the upper hand, just like he was starting to do. His face grew relaxed as she made no attempt to strike while letting him seemingly push her around as if he was in control of the exchange. 

But then she grew tired of the game and started with some tentative strikes herself, seeing how he reacted. His surprise was showing, but he was well prepared and rebuked her testing slashes. In a swift move Otranto feinted and ended up nicking her in the arm, drawing a surprised yelp; his predatory smile only spurring her on. She could not afford to be so careless. He was fast for his size, and had managed to keep that trait hidden thus far. She needed to watch out for other surprises. The next attack she countered, preparing to stop any follow up and blocking his riposte. She found an opening of her own and struck, drawing blood from his arm as well. He quickly retreated, holding his wound with a grimace. She realized he had not been expecting to get hit and could not hold back a smile. Never letting her guard down, she waited for him to get back in the game. He was warier now, and the game had suddenly become more serious for both of them. His patience was holding and he produced a flurry of strikes that required some effort for Leliana to predict, but after he was done she started attacking back, making him retreat blow by blow. He stumbled during his retreat and lowered his guard for a moment, allowing Leliana another hit that pierced his vest and made him lose the rest of his balance in his effort to avoid being gutted. Leliana did not waste time walking up to him, determined to put an end to the duel. Otranto was not smiling anymore; his countenance telling her he felt defeated.

"What is going on here?"

Leliana recognized Josephine's voice emerging from the crowd and wanted to groan. Of all the people... Her training prevented her from getting distracted while she had her opponent still armed. She waited for the ambassador's inevitable outburst. 

"Lord Otranto!" She exclaimed covering her mouth in horror, then tried to peek behind Leliana's cape and gasped in surprise. "But you are..."

Leliana shushed her before she could say her name. Last thing she wanted was to be associated with a passional duel in the middle of Val Royeaux.

Josephine seemed at loss for words, surprised to find her there and horrified for the duel itself, no doubt. "Why this? What happened?"

"You friend defied me over your hand, Lady Montyliet. And I have to say, you are even lovelier than I thought. Sadly, it looks like I'm not the one deserving your hand."

"You... wait... you are fighting him to break the engagement?" Josephine asked Leliana, seemingly having trouble understanding the scene.

"Of course Josephine. You said you did not want to marry him."

"I don't understand. Why are you doing this? You put yourself, your life at risk for this?"

"Because I love you, Josephine." The part required that she say that, and it was convenient that it was true. Now all Josephine had to do was play along and they would all go back home with their pride intact - all but Lord Otranto. Leliana’s heart was racing, and now it was not from the fight, but over anxiety at what the woman would reply.

"You... you do?"

"I have loved you for some time, Josephine. I would do this and much more for you."

"By the Maker!" Josephine, caught in her enthusiasm, launched herself in Leliana's arms, latching her arms behind her neck. Leliana, weapon still trained on the man, took the chance to complete the picture and kissed Josephine. It felt strange after all those years, but it still felt so right as the first time and she was committed to etching the moment in her memory, not knowing if she would have another chance. Josephine tensed in surprise at the contact, but soon she melted in her arms, returning the kiss with as much passion. They separated to take a breath, looking each other in the eyes. Leliana recognized the fire in Josephine's eyes that sent a shiver down her spine and was even more determined to keep going, but a disturbance distracted her. She turned to find lord Otranto getting up aided by his squire. 

"If I had known Lady Montyliet's relationship was genuine, I would not have accepted the engagement." 

That got both women's attention. 

"I will not stand in the way of true love, Lady Montyliet," he said with a dip of his head. "I hereby withdraw the engagement."

Smart choice, since he had been technically defeated anyway, but a thoughtful gesture nonetheless. It was refreshing to see such a romantic view of marriage amongst nobles. 

"Thank you for understanding, Lord Otranto," Josephine replied. "I am truly sorry for all the trouble this engagement has cost you."

"Do not mention it, my Lady. I understand you had no fault in this."

Leliana was glad the events had gone well though not according to plan. But she suspected she had not heard the end of it from her friend. "We will have to talk about this, my... champion," Josephine jabbing at Leliana's chest with her finger. "But now do kiss me again." Leliana happily obliged, and to hell with what the onlookers would think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me! I've had a rough time lately, but I have no excuses to be slow with the next chapters now, so do prod me if I take too long.  
> Ant thanks for the comments. All the answers to the plot lines will come soon®!


	17. Chapter 17

Evelyn was bent on the map, trying to impress in her memory where they would have to go and what would be the likely pitfalls. She was nervous like she had never been at the new challenge they had to meet - the Arbor wilds were an even bigger unknown than Adamant Fortress had been, and with Corypheus's plans still unclear, the location of the old temple was a concern Evelyn needed to solve. 

She took notes and observed, remembering Morrigan's words. He was most likely looking for access to an Eluvian - an incredible piece of elven magic that she would like to study if she had the time. 

It was pressing that they reach the place soon, and Leliana's scouts were already preparing to move out in advance, with Cullen's men already marching because they would take longer to get there. There was little time left for the inner circle of the Inquisition, but Evelyn was positive that they would succeed, if they played their cards right. Only Corypheus' weak points were a big unknown, and as far as they knew, he had none. She gathered her papers and left the war room, returning to her own quarters. There was also another matter, and it was eating at her, no matter how much distraction she managed to cram in her days. She placed back her books and writing supplies, finding nothing more to do in her room, courtesy of the many servants that were at her disposal - the Inquisitor could not be bogged down with such trivial concerns, yet she would have appreciated some manual labor to take her mind off things.

Cassandra had not been talking to her since Adamant, besides some grunts and acknowledgements, and she was as concerned for her state of mind as she was for her own. They could not afford to be distracted, not now. Yet she knew her own mind was still stuck in that kiss, regretting the following departure of the woman she wanted to belong to. Sitting in her room would do nothing to solve the problem, so she decided to seek out the ambassador, even though that would mean to distract the woman from her own duties. Considering how cheerful she had appeared since their stop in Val Royeaux, it was only fair that she spread some of that good mood to a friend. She was glad the ambassador could find such joy with just a change of scenery and some shopping.

She found her as usual at her desk and was greeted with a large smile upon her arrival. "Inquisitor. What can I do for you?"

Evelyn gave her an apologetic smile, "I'm afraid I need you for a bit, Josephine. I would like some advice, if you can spare the time."

"Oh? Of course, Inquisitor. Let me just finish this draft," she said, returning to her paper and writing at a speed even Evelyn did not think she could ever match. 

"Would you like some tea?" Josephine was always the perfect host; Evelyn was pleased to have befriended her, finding her presence soothing.

"I would, thank you."

Josephine put aside her quill and stood, calmly retrieving her instruments and revealing the fragrance of her selection of herbs for infusion. It was like a ritual for her, she suspected, and it was equally calming to witness it. She was sure that if she ambassador founded a new philosophy, it would involve tea making as part of reaching a higher state of mind.

"What is troubling you, Evelyn?"

"A lot of things. A big, invincible darkspawn Magister, for one."

Josephine shook her head. "I cannot imagine how you are doing it, Evelyn. The pressure must be immense. I am extremely grateful that you are leading the Inquisition so well."

Was she? Every now and then, she could swear she was leading all to their doom. But it did look like they were succeeding. Now they only needed to squash the last remnants of Corypheus' forces. Not to mention Corypheus himself. And his pet dragon. Better to change the subject.

"How is it that you are so cheerful these days?"

Josephine blushed and averted her eyes from Evelyn's. The mage smiled, suspecting that the answer was in the same realm as the problem that was plaguing her. 

"Well, it is hard to explain," the ambassador said. "I just... recently found out I had a secret admirer that I was absolutely not expecting."

"Oh? And I suppose you also return the feeling?"

Josephine massaged her own neck, hesitating. "I think I do, yes. That is one of the most curious parts, actually. Until recently, I had simply overlooked this... person as a potential relationship because of our past."

A better idea of who could be Josephine's secret admirer formed in Evelyn's mind and she could not stop an even bigger smile from forming. "I suppose it's someone you have known for a long time then? I think it's very sweet, Josephine."

She covered her now burning cheeks with her hands. "I realize you understood who I am talking about. I am not very good at secrecy, I'm afraid."

Evelyn laughed. "Definitely not, unlike her."

"Unlike her," Josephine nodded, laughing. Then turned more serious. "I still don't know what is in store for us, or what she is planning, if anything, but... I'm willing to find out." 

Evelyn patted her on the hand. "I'm glad to hear that. You both deserve some happiness."

"Thank you. But you were going to ask me something, and here I am, talking about myself. What was it that you needed, Evelyn?"

Evelyn considered telling her of her own dilemma involving a certain Seeker, but decided to keep it to herself. Cassandra had made her decision, and it was time Evelyn accepted the outcome and got her out of her mind, as painful as it was. She withheld a sigh and put on the most cheerful face she could muster to avoid upsetting her friend, who deserved her moment of happiness. She stood from the bench where she was sitting and put the cup back on the tray. "Nothing, Josephine. I think I already have my answer to that question."

Josephine looked surprised if a little disappointed and stood as well. "I understand. If you need me, Evelyn, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you. It's an immense consolation to know I have people like you I can count on."

She returned to her room, her face falling as soon as she was behind the door leading to her room. There was much work to do.

* * *

It was about time she did something. She was not feeling right, keeping things like they were. Determined, she sat down at her desk, decided to complete the task and quell her conscience. It was not fair for anyone that she continued. The thought of causing heartbreak gave her pause, but there was no way around it. And the best way to deal with the problem was by letter - that had been the way the pseudo-romance had been carried out so far, after all. She picked up her quill and started with the address formula, and a few phrases of circumstance. How to word something so delicate without being ungraceful, she was not sure. A knock at the door called her attention. Leliana entered without waiting for an answer, smiling at her and going up to her desk as her usual. 

"I was thinking we could go to dinner together, if you are done. I should have a free hour or so," she started then her eyes found the letter. Noticing Josephine's hesitation, she bent on the desk to take a look at it. "Who are you dealing with this time? Someone is being a pain again?" Josephine realized too late that the letter would not please her friend and tried to cover it with her arms, but to no avail. 

"Blackwall," Leliana said with distaste. "Of course. I know, it's none of my business," Leliana said, dropping from the desk and moving towards the door.

"Wait, Leliana, it's not what you think."

"As I said, it's none of my business. Though I'll admit, I'm not that pleased to share status with him. It's what we both are, yes? Sort of a pastime?"

Josephine was confused by her words. She thought back to the duel, and how after that they would steal some time to kiss, always hiding from the others. Then after they arrived back in Skyhold, they had continued to do so, though in rare moments. Never had Leliana sought her out in her room. And come to think of it, she had never visited her either, always thinking Leliana would do it first. But she was beginning to understand now. Leliana did not know where she really stood! Josephine had considered a given that she was willing to start a relationship with the former bard, but that obviously was not what her friend understood.

"No." She stood and approached her friend. Leliana's mood had soured and she was refusing to meet her eyes. "I never thought of you as a pastime, Leliana. I thought it was clear that..."

The redhead's eyes were questioning. "That what? What is it you want, Josephine?" She sighed. "I guess whatever you wanted, I would give you. I wish we could be something more than a few stolen moments, but I know you care about the name of your family too much to stoop to my level."

"What? Are you joking, Leliana? I most certainly do not consider you as my inferior."

"But I am, in terms of status. I am not a noble. Is that not the reason you kept your dealings with Blackwall only a written correspondence?"

"I... yes, he is not of the right status to marry me. But I guess I never cared that much in the first place. You... It's different. I would not care if you were a peasant or a queen, Leliana."

The spymaster stared at Josephine, as if just by looking she could know if she was being sincere. Come to think of it, she probably could, but Josephine knew Leliana would trust her words. "What is it you want of me then?"

What did she want? If Leliana had asked before Val Royeaux, she would have said to keep being friends as always. But now? She could not believe that it never dawned on her how much she had come to rely on her friend. How she was always on her mind. How integral she was become to her life. Josephine had given up on her romantically since their time in Orlais, when Leliana had been this wild, radiant thing she had failed to tame. The attraction had been contained and denied ever since, accomplice the many years passed with no contact. To finally have a chance at happiness with her in such troubled times... 

"I want... I want to be with you. For real. I think that's what I've been missing all this time."

"Are you sure?" Leliana said softly, taking her hand. "I will understand if you can't. I did push myself on you, after all. If you need time to...."

"I need no more time, Leliana." Josephine said confidently. "Everything's clear now. I want this." 

Leliana gave her the most glowing smile before kissing her. But Josephine was not done talking. 

"I would never use you, Leliana. It was never my intention." It hurt her that she would think so. How could she even love her while having such an opinion of her? It was even more puzzling that she was willing to overlook that hypothetical side of her.

"I should have known." Leliana sighed, her head hanging like she was bearing a great load on her shoulders. "I have been too much in contact with people with no conscience. I suppose I'm now expecting that even the most candid people have some hidden agenda of their own."

Josephine was reminded of all the things she had hinted at but had never wanted to talk about. It was a wall she had been keeping between them, and Josephine wanted more than anything to tear it down. "I wish you would tell me all about that. What use am I, as a friend or lover, if you cannot confide in me?"

Leliana gave her a long, pensive look, the line between her eyebrows deepening as she looked from Josephine to an unspecified spot on the floor. "I know. I wanted to spare you the gruesome details of my life. I have done things I'm not proud of, and others that almost killed me despite being right."

"I appreciate that, but I need to know all of you. You cannot shield me from evil forever, and I won't think less of you for those things you say you have done."

"Won't you? You know I was a bard," Leliana said with defiance in her voice, as if expecting Josephine to eventually attack her. "I have killed for reasons not my own. I have betrayed people who trusted me to be their ally. All for the one who eventually betrayed me too."

Josephine had heard about Marjolaine, even though Leliana had never given her much detail. Only that Mother Dorothea, who one day had become the Divine, had saved her and given her a new life. Then the story became hazy after that; her friend never talking much about the Hero of Ferelden she supposedly had traveled with. Curiosity war burning a hole in her, but she waited for Leliana to offer the information.

"You were young, Leliana. I know you didn't know any better. You must stop beating yourself up about those things, since you have more than made up for those acts."

"Have I?" Leliana asked more to herself than her friend. "Even now, most of my work has revolved around getting people killed. Evelyn has shown me that I have a choice, but I wonder... What I did so far, was it because I didn't know any better? I enjoy the thrill of the hunt, Josephine, the look of defeat in an enemy's eyes before I take their life. It was no different against Lord Otranto."

Leliana's musings were getting darker, yet she knew it was all because deep down, Leliana knew where to draw the line. She may be ruthless in her job, but she had not missed the times she had spared someone, and all the work mostly unacknowledged she had done to help save innocents in trouble. Leliana was still trying to give her an out because she was scared of being a monster. 

"Leliana, I know your heart. You would not have such doubts if you were not a good person. That's why... why I care so much."

Leliana looked at her, trying to find signs of deception. How betrayed had she been not to trust even her words? 

"I hope I won't let you down, Josephine. It humbles me to find that you still have faith in me. I have... I have omitted other things that happened after Dorothea rescued me. Maybe it's time I stopped hiding things from you. You must know that for a while I have traveled with the Hero of Ferelden."

Josephine nodded. 

"That was the experience that almost broke me. Almost killed me, literally. In fact, I do think I died."

"What do you mean?"

"I insisted to go with her. At the time she was only accompanied by Morrigan and a Warden named Alistair. I knew they would need help, and I thought that was what the Maker wanted from me. It was my opportunity to do something good for the world. So I insisted. Eventually she accepted my help." Leliana paused, taking a faraway look that signaled she was getting more and more in touch with her memories, her features becoming more pained. "I liked her. She was open and dynamic. A striking noble from High ever. Very skilled with a sword, an indomitable fighter. I had a crush on her, and she quickly played on that and we became close. But I did not know of her ambition, and ruthlessness; not until it was too late."

It was almost too much for Josephine to listen because she was already imagining what came next, but she forced herself to listen without interrupting.

"Eventually we came to the temple of Sacred Ashes. At the time nobody knew where it was. Brother Genitivi, the researcher, was on its trail and in fact had almost found it, but had been kidnapped by cultists that adored a dragon, convinced that it was the incarnation of Andraste. We rescued him, but he wanted to make the temple known to the faithful. The Hero killed him to prevent that. I was shocked. I knew making the temple known would likely destroy the ashes, but going to such an extent to protect it seemed too much. She did not heed my protests, but I did not rebel. It was only after, when I discovered that she wanted to fulfill a deal with the cultists to gain more powers for herself, that I had to stop her. She wanted to defile the ashes with the dragon's blood. I could not allow it. So we fought." Leliana's voice was cracking, but she continued. "She was too strong for me, and our companions sided with her. The only one who would have sided with me had been left behind, so she did not know what was happening. Eventually, Cousland's sword hit me, going through my stomach. I was done for. They left me there while she went and defiled the ashes. I was still aware when i heard what was happening, then some time after they left I passed out. There was nobody left to help me, do you understand? I should not have survived."

Even now, she did not seem to believe she should still be alive. Josephine was filled with horror, not imagining that the famous hero could have been such a callous person, abandoning her friend and lover for dead.

"How do you think you survived then?"

"I don't know. I suspect the temple had been imbued with the power of the ashes - magic, maybe? You could feel it entering the temple, it was something even non mages noticed. I believe something was lingering there, even after the ashes were destroyed."

"Thank the Maker," Josephine muttered. How close her friend had been to death, multiple times. Her own despair on the way to Skyhold must have seemed childish to Leliana. She was grateful for the heart she had showed her back then, allowing her to feel some hope.

"I had no idea. I wish you would have told me before."

"Why? What use is it to know that the most famous hero in Thedas was a horrible opportunist with no morals? When already we are plagued by un unspeakable horror? I did not want to make you feel worse."

"I appreciate that, Leliana, I really do. But please, don't shield me anymore. I want to be someone you can count on, not a happy fool kept in the dark about the world just because you don't want me to suffer."

Leliana nodded. "I will try."

* * *

 

Cassandra cradled her head in her hands. This was not the right moment. They were pressed for time and the next battle could be very dangerous. But there was no other moment for her. Evelyn deserved that she tried, that she overcome her fears. She sighed. Easier said than done. The mage now probably hated her. She ruffled her hair in frustration. What could she do to turn the situation around? A gesture, and a heartfelt confession, maybe? Just what she was not good at. But she feared time was of the essence now. She needed to reassure Evelyn that her feelings were genuine, and she would do it now.  
Back in Val Royeaux, unbeknownst to Leliana, she had stayed around to make sure her friend would be ok and witnessed the duel and what followed. She had been relieved that her friend was unhurt, but most of all she was glad her plan had worked out. She had hardly thought it possible, but Leliana's big gamble had paid off spectacularly. As much as she had been happy for her friends, those scenes made her even less happy with how she had left things with Evelyn. She had hurt her, and she had not deserved that. Was she such a coward that she would let the Inquisitor suffer just because she did not feel like taking chances? Maybe Evelyn needed her. She had looked like she had been hoping for her move, only to see that hope crushed. Seeing the sadness in Evelyn's eyes when she looked at Cassandra after her return made her seriously reconsider her earlier move.  
With effort the Seeker left the smithy, forcing herself to walk to the building where Evelyn had her quarters. Considering it was already dark, there was a good chance the mage would be in her rooms. She just needed to make a stop along the way before getting there, promising herself to be fast so as not to lose the nerve.

* * *

Evelyn was looking out, leaning on the balcony. Despite the cold that threatened to seep into her bones, she felt more at peace looking at the scenery outside Skyhold than in her room. The stars were coming out and the white mantle over the mountains seemed eerie. She wondered what would happen after they defeated the old Magister. It was a stretch to think of victory, but she needed to be optimistic to withstand the coming days. Her ragtag band of companions would surely disband, and she was sure that would be hard, probably more than losing the Circle. Maybe Varric would stay. And Sera. But she was not fooling herself thinking she would not miss the Seeker if she left, even though in the past days she had been coming to terms with her refusal. Maybe she had been right to keep her distance, because of the dangers they would face, and as a reminder Loghain's last moments sprung to mind. She never wanted to be in such position again. And the Seeker probably did not care that much, did she? After all, she had not given Evelyn much thought ever since that day. Maybe it was just a crush for her. But whatever it was, she refused to give her so much of her thoughts again. She needed to find some friends and... Well, after Corypheus anyway. She'd be a good Inquisitor until then, but after, she had no idea what would be of the organization. She did not want to think that the Circles could be reinstated, or she would lose part of her motivation to make things go right.

The stairs creaking brought her attention to her room and she turned, an ear towards the door. Soon after a knock confirmed that someone needed to see her. For a moment her heart did a somersault in her chest, but she realized that whoever it was, it was no urgent matter. Who would knock in a matter of life or death? The sense of impending doom due to the old Magister was making her jumpy.

"Come in," she said approaching the stairs. 

She had not been prepared to see Cassandra in front of her. She had one hand behind her back, and even in the dim light of the torches she looked haunted. "Cassandra? Is something the matter?"

"I need to speak with you."

"About what?"

"About us."

Evelyn sighed and retreated into the room, putting some distance from her but letting her enter. She figured what this could be about, and she did not need this right now, but she could not send her away. "Look, if you want to explain what happened in Adamant... Don't. I understood perfectly."

"Please, my Lady. I need you to hear me out." She seemed to hesitate, then produced a bundle of flowers she had kept hidden behind her back and offered them to Evelyn without taking a step forward. Evelyn looked at them then at the woman in front of her. She looked contrite. The flowers, obviously taken from Skyhold's garden, were a mix of colorful different species. What was Cassandra doing? Evelyn took the flowers. They smelled good, but she found that a strange gesture. Then she remembered reading in some books she had read in the Circle that flowers were sometimes used to convey a message. Sometimes they were used in courtship. Was that... Her heart leapt in her chest for a moment, but she chastised herself for getting her hopes up. She put the flowers on her desk for lack of other suitable places that were not the floor. Now she felt she had to listen, though she was wary of what Cassandra felt compelled to tell her.

"Alright," she relented. "What did you want to say?"

"I am... Sorry," Cassandra managed to say while wringing her hands.

Evelyn crossed her arms, almost hugging herself, and leaned on the desk, her nerves getting on fire. If she wanted to apologize for kissing her... That was expected, but she did not want to hear it.

"What for?" she managed to say with a lump in her throat.

"For leaving you... There, in Adamant. I wanted to explain. You deserve that much."

Evelyn shook her head. This was not what she had thought. "What do you want to say, Cassandra? Maybe you were right. This is not the time for romance. I was a fool to hope for..."

"What? No!" Cassandra interrupted her with urgency. "I was the fool. I thought things would be better if I ignored... If I did not give in. Instead I only got more distressed. And you... I don't know what you feel, Evelyn. But I fear I hurt you too. And for what? Because I was scared."

Evelyn's heart was pounding. She could not possibly be hearing this. "Scared of what, Cassandra?"

"Scared, because..." Cassandra took a deep breath, as if the words were so heavy she needed to brace herself. "Evelyn, I have lost nearly everyone dear to me. I wanted to keep the distance from you, because I could not stand losing you too. Maybe if I did not get too close, the Maker would not want to take you from me."

Hearing those words, Evelyn's eyes threatened spilling tears. She had been ready to take that risk, but that was before seeing firsthand what could really happen. Now her own fears were paralyzing her. "Cassandra... I don't even... I don't know if it would be right for us to be together. After what happened in the Fade... What I've had to do..."

Cassandra closed some of the distance, stopping in front of Evelyn. Her eyes had picked up the fiery appearance that had always entranced Evelyn. That passion, how she had wanted Cassandra to feel for her! But, would it burn the both of them instead?

"I know. I can't promise it will be easy, or that there will be no danger. But if I don't fight for this, for you, what am I fighting for?" She took a pause, taking her hand and gazing into her eyes. "I will be there for you. I am yours. I want nothing more. I don't want to deny myself - us - this anymore."

Evelyn's tears finally reached the surface and spilled. She had never heard a more heartfelt confession, and certainly not one that could have more effect on her. She wiped her tears on her shirt and looked in Cassandra's eyes. Her vulnerability was written in her face. There was no doubt this was hard for the Seeker, who notoriously preferred action to words. But in this case she had more than succeeded. 

"I... I don't know, Cassandra. I do want this, but... I don't think I'm ready to face the risk. I don't want to go through such a difficult choice again."

"Believe me, I understand. A few days ago I would have agreed with you, but... If I have to face certain death, I would rather face it having known your love. Besides, it is too late for me. Should I lose you, Maker forbid that, I would be devastated anyway."

Maybe it was really worth the risk. Maybe together they'd be stronger. As much as it terrified her, Evelyn wanted to try.

She did not know how to answer, so instead of using words she raised her head and met Cassandra's lips with hers. She savored the moment, enjoying Cassandra's sweet lips like she had in Adamant, but this time she was determined not to let it end so quickly. The smell of the flowers on the desk behind her mixed with the leather and soap that clung to Cassandra's skin. Cassandra pulled back just long enough to look into the mage's eyes and cup her cheek before kissing her back. Evelyn sighed in relief and pressed herself to the Seeker, finding herself finally home. Her passion was awakening with each passing second, her body fitting so perfectly against hers. This was all that she had imagined and more, for the woman she loved was really with her, and her tongue traced Evelyn's bottom lip seeking entrance Evelyn promptly granted. Cassandra explored her mouth tentatively at first, then the battling became more fierce. It was intense; both were getting short of breath, but Evelyn did not want to stop, for who knew what might happen tomorrow. She traced the perfect contour of Cassandra's back and buttocks and locked her arms behind her. When Cassandra freed herself to push her on the desk and settled between her legs, exercising a delicious pressure in the right place, she raised her legs and closed them around the Seeker.

Cassandra trailed kisses from Evelyn's mouth down to her neck, taking time to savor her skin; the mage shivered and held Cassandra's head in place, exposing more of her own neck to let her lover get to her collarbone. She pulled Cassandra's head up and held her face inches from hers. Maker, she adored this woman. She placed a lingering kiss on her lips, happy beyond words.

"How could I resist you?" Cassandra wondered softly before kissing Evelyn again. Her hands moved from her waist up to her ribs, her thumbs brushing the mage's breasts. Evelyn sighed; her clothes were starting to be too much. She wanted all, she needed Cassandra. Her fingers sought the buttons of the shirt she was wearing and started undoing them. Cassandra took notice and helped her, finally baring her breasts. Evelyn fought the instinctive embarrassment and was heartened by her lover's appreciation. Cassandra bent down to capture a nipple with her mouth and massaged the other breast. Evelyn could not help but moan, the sensations going straight down between her legs. As her lover switched the object of her attention, Evelyn took her hand and placed it over her own crotch, as a signal that she could not take anymore.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I've never been so sure," Evelyn replied sealing the sentence with a kiss on Cassandra's lips. She did not want to show too much haste, but her need was growing and... well, she had waited long enough already.

Cassandra undid her pants and with Evelyn's help took them out of the way, then with feather touches caressed her legs from her knees up, so slowly that Evelyn thought she'd explode with anticipation. She gasped when Cassandra's hand finally reached her core and with careful touches explored her, her eyes smoldering and taking Evelyn's breath away. Cassandra held the mage firmly behind her back with one hand, the other finding a rhythm in Evelyn's soaked folds, making her breathing more and more ragged. Evelyn held onto her lover, closing her eyes and losing herself into the sensation building up, rocking her hips to meet Cassandra's hand. All her thoughts were wiped out, what mattered right then was this connection, this moment where only she and the Seeker existed, and she gave herself to the woman she loved. The orgasm built fast, even too fast, but she could not stop it and would not have wanted to, for her need for release was too strong. She climaxed, clenching Cassandra’s hips with her legs, gasping aloud as she convulsed and Cassandra slowed her motion, holding her hand firmly pressed against her core until the shaking stopped. Evelyn held her there for a few moments before collapsing, spent, on Cassandra's shoulder. Tears spilled from her eyes, surprising even Evelyn. It was as if all tension had left her and she felt safer and more relaxed than she had in ages. Cassandra’s hand gently turned her face up and upon seeing them her face grew concerned.

"What's wrong?"

Evelyn smiled at her protectiveness. "Nothing. I... I love you."

Cassandra as a response descended on her lips with a bruising, lingering kiss that spoke of strong feelings, and the fears that captured Evelyn at the chance that maybe her lover did not feel the same were quelled right after.

"I love you too, Evelyn", she replied quietly, eyes boring deep into Evelyn's soul.

* * *

Evelyn awoke to the unfamiliar sensation of having something warm beneath her. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the early morning, she discovered she had been sleeping in the same position she had fallen asleep last night, half draped over Cassandra's naked body with her arm holding Evelyn around her waist. She let her head rest on Cassandra's chest again and sighed with a smile on her lips. Her mind filled with images of what they had shared, how deep and tender making love to the Seeker had been, how they could not get enough of each other only to fall, spent, in the position they still were in. But now morning approached and she was starting to feel nervous. What might the people of Skyhold think if they knew they were together? Would they think less of her as Inquisitor? Would they think she had other things in her mind but their salvation? She kissed Cassandra's pulse point, rousing her. What would she think, she wondered. The object of her musings strenghtened her hold on Evelyn and stirred.

"Good morning, my love," she said before kissing her forehead.

"Good morning," Evelyn replied, a lazy smile on her face. The reality of the new morning wiped it out fast. "It's still early. You better go now if you do not wish to be seen leaving here," she whispered, selfishly wanting for her lover to solve the conundrum for her.

Cassandra took her hand and brought it to her lips. "And why would I not wish to be seen leaving here? I just spent the night with the most desirable woman in Thedas."

"Funny. Because I did that," Evelyn countered, her anxiety mounting. She did not want to hurt her newly found lover, but...

"Impossible. You can't have slept with the same woman I slept with," Cassandra said, then gave the mage a kiss. She took a moment before asking. "You don't want people to know we are together?"

The question was not accusatory; it was rather inquisitive, as appropriate for a Seeker, yet Evelyn could not help but feel guilty. "I'm sorry, I just... A moment like this, I don't want our people to think I'm less than serious about Corypheus." She looked into her lover's eyes for signs of disappointment, but found only sad acceptance.

"As long as you are not ashamed of being with me..."

"Ashamed? Are you kidding? I'd like to flaunt you like a jewel!" Evelyn was pleased to have elicited a smile in the Seeker. It occurred to her that it was one of the rare smiles she had seen from her, and she vowed to try and make her smile more often... After the whole Corypheus thing was done. Now though, she gave in to the pull her lover's lips had on her. The long, languid kiss made her body awaken and she craved the feel of Cassandra's hands on her. "I think I need you again" she murmured. Cassandra smirked and switched their positions, hovering over Evelyn.

"I like taking care of your needs," she murmured before parting the Inquisitor's legs with her own, then slowly left a trail of kisses from her neck down, making Evelyn stop wondering about what people would think for a while more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say I would have more time to write last time? Yeah, that turned out to be incorrect, sorry.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. It's been quite difficult to write and I hope a certain section does not read like a sports match...  
> Thanks for reading.


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